I was thirteen or maybe fourteen, not sure. A man dragged me from the infirmary where I'd been just as roughly handled. I'd slept a little, but not long before being kicked awake and yanked off the infirmary cot by my wrist.

  I'd just secured my place in the final four. They hadn't cleaned me, I still had several boy's blood on me.

  I wanted to cry, but was exhausted and if they saw, they'd beat me.

  I was thrown in front of a seated man, someone important. He'd watched me fight. I kept my head down.

  I remembered thinking one of the other boys who'd passed was thrown beside me. I dared not move to look.

  "Congratulations boy seventeen and girl ten. It's time for a small reward. Plus the organisation doesn't need virgins. Should you join our ranks, need may arise for you to get close to a target using sex.

  Since we're training girls now too, I thought up a fun idea... A little treat for you both."

  "Here, drink this, guaranteed boner." I drank the dirty shot glass of mystery liquid, then got shoved into a room.

  Girl ten was standing by some grotty duvets thrown over the stone floor.

  "Can you help me take my tunic off?" Her voice was weak and hoarse.

  I looked at her for the first time. Like the boys, the girls had their heads shaved too.

  Like me, she was gaunt, tired, bruised and unwashed. The healers in the infirmary only dealt with what was serious or might get infected.

  Her left hand must've got so badly injured, because instead of a hand she had a jar/large glass beaker. Attached securely with bandages and thin rope.

  Visible through the greenish healing goop was an already skin covered stump with a nub coming off it. Like the growth off of a forgotten potato.

  In her right hand she held a shot glass full of pinkish-purple goo.

  I shuffled forward. Stopping before I touched her blood stained tunic.

  "Do it. They're watching." She urged meekly.

  I started lifting up her tunic but dropped it, stepping back gasping. The drink had kicked in. The glow from my entire body faded as I felt my penis engorge. I tried to slap my dick down, yelping at the self inflicted pain.

  "Stop!"

  With one finger off her shot glass she jabbed me in the shoulder. I kept gasping.

  "Calm down! Breath normal!"

  She jabbed me a couple more times.

  I managed to pull myself back from hyperventilating, then forced myself to start doing something. Like I'd force myself to fight.

  I lifted her tunic up, she leant forward holding her arms out. I pulled her tunic off, what was left of the torn ragged sleeves slipped easily over the jar and shot glass.

  She paused, wavering.

  Putting the shot glass carefully down she knelt beside it, then scoops some of its contents with her fingers.

  I understood why she didn't put it down before. When the adults in this facilty handed you something, whether a weapon or some food, it became the most important thing in the world, either due to fear of repercussions or scarcity. Of course she didn't trust me with it either, or perhaps she knew that if I dropped it, we'd both be beaten.

  She gasped much like I did, starting to whimper as she applied the goo to her genitals. There was a slight glow as it was applied.

  Trying to get the last of goo, the shot glass slid about. I knelt down, with both hands I held it steady for her.

  "Your tunic."

  "Sorry."

  I pulled my tunic off as the girl crawled onto the duvet to lie down face up. I closed my eyes, only opening one when I accidentally put my hand on her foot. Having crawled on top, she put her good hand on my lower back and pulled lightly, coaxing me to start.

  That was how I lost my virginity.

  Juniper was silent, staring at the corner of the room. She sniffed then looked at me. I could feel her gaze. I looked up into her eyes. She leant forward to touche my face.

  "I am so sorry."

  "What about you? Can you tell me how it was supposed to go— Losing your virginity?"

  "Whaa... You don't believe a couple nights ago was my first time?"

  I didn't answer, she was far too confident that night.

  "Hmph, it could've been... kinda of wish it had been you. Yeh my first time was sweeter... but the relationship was sour."

  "Please. Realised a long time ago how ignorant the organisation kept me, it's why I didn't really care what the potion did and just went for it. I can't do all the talking, come on, share."

  Juniper huffed smiling, and shrugged.

  "All right. So I'll start from the beginning, I was only 14. Home hadn't been the worst place, but hadn't been the best. Had a step dad that was always either working or with my mum or his kids, no time for me. My mum had seemed to forget I existed when she got married, and my step siblings were dicks. Even my step sister. She was the biggest cock of em' all.

  SoulSight— Did I tell you I had SoulSight?"

  "No but I chatted to people about you, morning after, while helping to make hiding places and carrying supplies. I was curious and got told the rough story, but please, in your own words."

  "Hmph." She tried to hide her blush and smile.

  I moved aside her hand to lift her chin, gave her a short kiss. She closed her eyes and leant in for the kiss to continue when I leant back.

  "Hey get back here." She pulled me back into her lips and after some smooching we returned to our respective ends of the king size, four poster bed we'd snagged at the inn.

  "Hmm. So I got SoulSight at 12, thought I was crazy. My mother wanted to hide me because of how I acted, I couldn't help it, I had no idea what I was seeing...

  Anyway different story... At 14 I knew I had SoulSight and things at home weren't good. I didn't know much about reading souls, but I knew good ones. A traveling band of healing nuns came through town. When I saw them trading healing for only needed supplies, healing my neighbor, who had nothing, for free... they had such bright souls. I waited for them to leave, ran after and begged them to take me with them. They taught me the most basic healing magic and put me to clean dressings and fetch water.

  I'll be honest, their super modest living wasn't really for me.

  We reached the capitol, and on the first day a smooth talking painter, I think... 7 years older than me, came for some healing. He'd got into a bar fight, he said with a cheeky smile. I thought he soul was so colourful, I know now his soul was much like a frog, more colour, more poison.

  His flirting eventually persuaded me to sneak away with him for a date, and another. The nuns expressed concern, but I wasn't their daughter or even really one of them. When it came time for them to leave, after maybe a week; there was a lot of healing in the capitol of course... Huh... they'd worked so hard and been so kind to me...

  I was so stupid to stay with Jorma, the painter. The nuns did one last good thing for me, they went back to my village and told my parents where I was. At the time I prayed curses upon them when I found out, now I pray for forgiveness and blessing upon them.

  My first time was the night they left. Jorma told me he loved me, that we'd get married. He said all the sweetest things... But I remember the pressure too, I can't recall the exact words— But I Know He Was Playing Me!

  I was made to feel that if I didn't sleep with him that night, I didn't love him and that he'd leave me.

  Want to hear how I found out I was a Spirit Druid?"

  "Of course!"

  She smiled and blushed again, reaching she caught my shirt to pull me in for another quick peck.

  "Days of me following him about like a puppy. He'd paint me naked, take me to bars...

  He'd laugh at me puking, not walking right and saying silly things. I actually thought since he was laughing, me getting drunk was OK, it was just funny.

  When my mother came for me, I was so stupid, I screamed at her to leave... She'd come back every so often. Every time it ended with us shouting at each other.

  Anyway... Jorma started getting bored of me. When I got jealous of him talking to, or worse painting other women, he'd call me crazy. I started to see his soul darken when I was around, like he wanted to hurt me... why?"

  Juniper wiped away fresh tears, then composed herself.

  "I told myself I wouldn't cry over that prick anymore!"

  With a final sniff she continued.

  "I walked in on him in bed with a patron's wife, the patron was watching from a chair in the corner. He called me names as I gathered my things, said it was just business, another artistic service he offered.

  One of the women he'd painted, and probably slept with, was an adventurer. She saw me in his house, asked if I was his sister. When I said we were getting married I remember she was shocked, started asking me questions.

  I told her about healing and I remember she said "get away from that sleazebag, when you do, come find me at the adventurers guild. I'll let you be my healer OK."

  I can't believe I actually found her, over a week later at the guild. She recognised me, though she was still pretty much a stranger, I saw her soul brighten at the sight of me. She caught me in a hug that nearly suffocated me. She kept apologizing and said she'd thought of me, she'd gone to see me and Jorma had threatened her.

  Amanda took me to get a card and that's how I found out, initially I had no idea why everyone was so excited by my card.

  Amanda had a healer in her party already, and the party was quite high level, but she took me on quests with her anyway.

  I found out from a party member that Amanda was adventuring because her marriage had failed, she'd had several miscarriages... I was told not to break her heart, because she thought she'd found a daughter.

  Between quests she helped me research SoulSight. When I learnt about a high priestess, she brought me to the clan. Lis offered to teach me everything she knew and here I am, years later. Amanda and I visit each other several times a year. She's like another mum to me. I've visited my actual mother too, things are... OK between us..."

  "Amanda sounds amazing. You want me to.." I drew a line across my throat with my thumb. "Jorma?"

  "How much? I don't think I can afford you..." She did an exaggerated sad face, drooping her head.

  "Yeh you're right... Sorry that it wasn't a great first time for you either."

  We both wallowed in pity for a few moments.

  "Did you ever see her again? Girl ten?"

  "Wouldn't recognise her if I did. My appearance has been altered by powerful magic, her's probably was too. Not to mention when I saw her, we both had swollen and bruised faces.

  This hair colour—" I pointed to my head, "Organisation approved dark brown, I was blond as a child.

  Dark brown is stealthy but common, doesn't stand out as much as black.

  My face couldn't be ugly, but couldn't be too handsome either.

  My eyes were... Green I think... that was changed to a common shade of blue.

  Assassins must be the grey men, able to walk unnoticed among the masses. We were not allowed to stand out in any way...

  Want to hear about the first concert I ever went to?"

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  I was trying to lighten the mood. Juniper was staring at my hair, she reached out to run her fingers through it. We both laughed when I shook her hand off.

  "Blond?... Ok what happened at your first concert— You killed someone right?"

  "How!? You ruined the surprise! How'd you guess I, an assassin, killed someone at my first concert?? Haha...

  I brought it up because it was also my first mission with a female assassin. We posed as a couple to take out targets attending a variety singing concert. The client had requested a public spectacle to scare others, make them aware nowhere was safe.

  After the intermission when the lights darkened and everyone applauded the resuming of the play, that's when we struck. It had been arranged that they were directly in front of us and we were surrounded by colleagues too.

  Ever heard Dwarves sing? The men have the deepest bellowing voices and the females super husky and raspy."

  "So you enjoyed the show?" Juniper's eyes were concerned but she couldn't help but grin.

  "It was amazing! They were good seats too, not far from the stage..."

  We'd dove into bed after dinner. We'd only really been loafing about since arriving in town in the afternoon, so we were both still awake. Juniper pointed to a bundle tied to my travel pack.

  "Can I finally know what that is?"

  I'd stopped on the way out of the village to fetch a private stash, just for me.

  "Alright... You didn't think I left everything looted to the clan did you?"

  I rolled out the bed, I could've got off my side and gone around the bed to where my pack was but I chose the more interesting route of going over Juniper. She giggled and we shared a kiss as I got out of bed. The bundle got untied, was wrapped in the same linen cloth I'd put round the fish... it had been washed but still had a faint smell.

  "I was going to show you tomorrow because of course... I'm giving you something. Here catch."

  She managed to catch the ring I tossed her way. The sun had set and the room was only lit by the fireplace. She got out of bed, dragging the sheets with her, arriving beside me, nearer the fire, she threw the sheets over me then huddled close.

  "Ooh, marble with such fine metal wiring, looks like roots."

  "I think that's platinum reinforcing the marble, strangely it was on a barbarian. He probably just liked the ring, but it's actually a grandmaster artisan ring that boosts earth magic... any use to you?"

  "Hmm... I like gardening and know the basic earth druid skills... it's a big ring, look it only fits on my thumb! Oh green thumb! Hahahahahaha..."

  She laughed uncontrollably, morseso at my confused face.

  "Green thumb... get it?"

  She repeated herself a few times, I ended up laughing not knowing why. Eventually she caught her breath enough to try to explain without laughing.

  "Having a green thumb is an expression, means you're good at gardening."

  "But the ring is greyish white marble... wrapped in silver metal."

  This only made her laugh harder.

  "But you didn't really know me when looting these—"

  I stopped her with a raised hand, chuckling.

  "I took the ring because it looked cool and valuable. However, having met you, it's my pleasure to gift it to you. It feels right to give it to you. So don't question it or feel bad, OK."

  She blushed, smiling while nodding.

  "What else did you get?"

  I rummaged till I pulled out a massive clip point, coffin handled knife. It was in immaculate condition considering it was on the biggest, most battle scarred of the two barbarians.

  "A min level 18 hunting knife, almost as big as my short sword, it'll replace the sword. Crit bonus against wild beasts."

  "Nice, what else?"

  I stopped, realising I was about to do something awkward.

  "Oh, what is it?"

  "Uhhh, so don't get jealous..."

  "Something for another woman!?" She joked.

  I pulled out the wooden snake with a meteor steel tongue and fangs, gems for eyes. It was coiled in such a way that it could slip over a forearm with the head held out above the hand.

  "Found this next to the lich cleric."

  "That's a high level healer's staff. That can transform, turn into a straight stick or like a necklace... And you're not offering it to me... or keeping it yourself? Is the other woman a healer too?"

  "Listen, I'm not giving it to her for free, OK!? She's very nice cleric and her grandfather has a adventuring supply shop. He also unfortunately found out about me... so I agreed to look out for his daughter—"

  "Who I bet is young and attractive, right? But he forbade anything more than protecting her from harm, now you're tantalised by the forbidden fruit— Of Her Loins... Right?"

  I didn't dignify her with a response.

  "She's too low level for this at the moment, but I figure I could sell it for less than it's worth, tell the old man to save it for her. Curry his favour and help her in the future, two birds, one stone— Which I can do for real! Have done I swear. Lunch and dinner sorted!"

  Juniper stroked her chin as she regarded me with narrowed eyes.

  "I get it... how old's the old man? You going to make your move the moment he's in the ground?"

  She got my steely assassin face, I was genuinely surprised, that thought had crossed my mind.

  "What's that face?"

  "I'm trained to not show surprise or shock."

  Fuck, why had I just told the truth.

  "Uh, so you were shocked I figured out your master plan? No offence but it's a plan from your little head— Not that complex. Very predictable." She says pointing between my legs.

  "What's she like?"

  Oh shit! She was a lot like Juniper!

  "She's a confident, mature young woman, not afraid to speak her mind and very caring of others."

  "Huh... That sounds like how someone once described me... you got a type huh?"

  "Hey! Check these out. The paladin's vambraces and gloves. Metal gauntlets aren't great for magic, so check out this ingenious design."

  I showed Juniper a vambrace. It was attached to an elbow pad too, however the interesting part was the hinged, extended cuff that went over the back of the hand with a leather loop going over the palm. Combined with tough leather gloves, they seemed the best compromise of protection for magic users. They were too high level right then (pretend level at least), but I could stash them for later use.

  Juniper didn't seem that interested, she sighed and flashed a pursed smile my way. For the time being, she had dropped the subject of Evelyn.

  She pointed to a bag, the last item.

  "And that?"

  "Just all their coin purses and contents of a small box of treasure Valdis had with him, plus all the other rings or bit's of jewelry I could loot. It's more than I made all last year questing. A good payday. Almost makes up for losing that legendary staff."

  "And you let me pay for this room!?"

  "Hang on, you offered. Plus I paid for the upgrade, extra time tomorrow so we can leave at noon, and I was going to offer you some tomorrow."

  "Ooo, I get paid for sex?"

  It was my turn to burst out laughing uncontrollably.

  I woke up the next day to find Juniper hanging off the end of the bed. I crawled my way up beside her, kissing her calf, thigh, hip, side, shoulder, slowing down as I got higher. Kissing her neck then her cheek. She turned saying good morning and we shared a kiss.

  "Did you get this off Valdis?"

  She'd been looking at the other rings and bits of jewelry from the bag. I got up grabbing my cloak as I did. The fire had died during the night, the room was freezing.

  "Yep, only benefit of the old shopkeeper knowing, is I can hopefully pawn off some oddly specific things like that to him. Black market price of course, he'd have to sit on it while or sell it discreetly."

  "Can't believe he had this made..."

  The ring promoted good posture, poise and gait. Too proud to use trickery and perhaps too mistrustful to let a sorcerer work on him; the ring was Valdis's way of appearing taller.

  "This cloak brooch is nice, makes the cloak super resistant. You're going to use this right?"

  "For sure when I reach that level— As a young field medic. You understand? I don't think it's too unique, seen similar on ex-colleagues of mine."

  I loaded some wood into the fireplace and being lazy, sent a weak fire punch into it.

  "This necklace is nice... Stores a little mana in each pearl, not a huge amount but considering it doesn't make your heart race, make you sweaty and make it hard to focus... I reckon it's better than a mana potion."

  "You want it?"

  "I couldn't... it is a woman's necklace though..." She said, trying it on.

  "Just take it— I've got plenty of loot! And honestly, I know you're going to show me a couple teachable skills today, but talking yesterday... it was really... Thank you."

  "Oh no it looks good on me! Now I have to keep it!"

  "Can't argue with that. Since I'm up, what do you want for breakfast?"

  We were too early for the inn's breakfast, so went to explore. We found the black smith as he was opening.To the annoyance of Juniper, not sure why, I went back to the room to fetch certain items.

  I wasn't happy with what he offered for the short sword, so offered it to Juniper to take back with her, to find a worthy lad in the clan. The blacksmith did however take the vambraces, I'd decided they weren't worth carrying around, plus the demon motif...

  It ended up being a trade. He was willing to break up and replace parts of a jousting set of armour he had in my level. I got the cuirass, spaulder and vambrace for my right arm, and the entire left arm.

  The left arm featured a heavier pauldron/ shoulder shield. He'd have the vambraces modified to be similar to the paladin's by lunch time. So no money was exchanged, he offered to attach a sleeve of chainmail to the right arm and a chainmail skirt to the cuirass. I also got two shin and knee guards; the vambraces were that much more valuable. For quality, high level, dark steel I could've pressed for more, however his discretion was also part of the deal.

  "Hmph, you know it's not very nice to do business on a romantic getaway." Huffed Juniper, rolling her eyes.

  I would've pointed out that we were heading back to the inn to complete a trade, teachable skills for my many stories, but... I was hoping to get lucky again before we left.

  . . .

  The sparkling mist sprays from my ring, decent coverage. I hadn't put much magic in, even still it took a couple minutes to fall and fade. I nodded approvingly.

  Juniper had taught me Purify and HealingMist.

  She was right, I had heard of Purify, a skill that boosts the effectiveness of potions, plus makes water safe to drink. Applying healing magic to water worked too, but Purify was more efficient plus drew particles up and away from water.

  Darn shame it was locked to healer and certain magic classes— Very useful.

  I had not heard of HealingMist. It was a poor man's HealingAura, a high level skill exclusive to clerics, priestesses and apparently spirit druids too. HealingAura was a passive skill that boosted recovery among party members. At max level it could entirely negate weak attacks within a few seconds.

  HealingMist was a similar idea, but it needed to be created first, at a mana cost, and didn't last that long. It could also be blown away by certain enemy attacks. Juniper had met with the skill's creator, another spirit druid, who'd wanted to help others do something as effective as HealingAura.

  I racked my mind but couldn't think of any teachable skills that weren't offensive, dark magic or locked to thief, assassin or similar class.

  "Now... let's do a blood pact!"

  I turned to Juniper with a deadpan stare.

  "Come on, it won't kill me and I want to try it!" She said with a whine and pouting.

  "Ergh. Don't act like that, very unattractive." I said grimacing.

  She smirked before making a goofy apologetic face while shrugging.

  "Sorry! Your type is mature, haha. Come on please, I'm serious, I want you to be safe and it would be an experience for me. Please."

  I took a long slow breath in... and out...

  "Fine. But only if I'm happy with the wording— The wording has to be simple, clear and leave you some leeway, so you don't accidentally drop dead talking to Lis about me."

  . . .

  The contract burned away, and I first applied heal to both our hands before letting go of hers. She looked at where her cut had been, then snatched my hand to check it too.

  "Huh... I thought the scars would stay as a reminder of the pact."

  "They can, sometimes cursed wounds are deliberately created especially to that effect."

  Thankfully I knew a variant of blood pact that inflicted only excruciating pain. Without even using deception, I had managed to dupe Juniper.

  Didn't wish pain on her, but seemed better than death. I'd also considered using Deception, removing the blood pact and making her forget I had... seemed a hassle with greater complications.

  It was time for us to start parting ways, I was nervous.

  "So the way you've been acting. The things you've said. It's clear we're going our separate ways... but why? Why not come with me?"

  Juniper went silent and looked down, clearly thinking of a response. I pushed the point.

  "Unlike Jorma— If you want. We could get married tomorrow—"

  "Stop." She looked me in the eyes with a sullen expression. "Trust me, I would know. We aren't soul mates. Harvey, this was fun. Meeting you was great... but it has to end."

  "But why? We get along great and—"

  "For now! Harvey listen! This was a fling, we were both in a honeymoon mindset. Also this was a relationship born of a shared traumatic experience, the attack on the clan.

  I've read about it, it's called a trauma bond, and it's not great. I want both of us to heal from that trauma, it's harder if we're together."

  "A trauma bond?"

  "How much do you really know about me, or I you? Stories sure, but I mean likes, opinions, perspectives, values— The stuff that matters?"

  I wanted to say something... thinking about it... she was right.

  "But I—"

  "NO!" She slapped her hand over my mouth. The emotions of the situation, I genuinely hadn't seen it coming.

  "You don't love me. I don't love you. That's not a terrible thing. This was lust, friendship and a trade...

  I should have known...

  I'm sorry to hurt you. You're clearly naive to these things, having lived the way you did."

  Fuck, how many years did I have on her, and I was getting both heartbroken and schooled. Everything she said, I knew was true.

  "I know everything you're saying is true. Thank you so much for this time together... But something I heard once. Don't go chasing a soulmate, you can learn to love the one you're with."

  I accidentally said the last part to the same rhythm as the song I'd borrowed it from.

  "Hang on... It's don't go chasing cupid's arrow, you can learn to love the one you're with. Love can grow in places, you don't know."

  "Love can bloom, even in the gloom." I sputtered out, holding back laughter.

  "Where did you hear that— Don't tell me..."

  "Yeah, it was at that concert I told you about."

  A wicked grin spread across Juniper's face.

  "Sing it for me."

  "What!? No."

  "Go on please! Have you ever sung? Just try, no judgement, please?"

  "Well OK... but we'll have to do another blood pact— I don't want you telling anyone."

  She grinned as I cleared my throat. I took on the mannerisms of the bard I'd heard sing it. With a wink to Juniper, I began.

  You wanna let me go, throw me aside.

  You say I'm just a friend or that this is the end...

  Hey girl, listen up, I've some words of wisdom for youuuuu...

  Don't go chasing cupid's arrowwww...

  You can learn to love the one you're with!

  Don't go chasing cupid's arrow!

  Love can grow in place's, you don't know.

  Don't go chasing cupid's arrow! Oh no no no.

  Love can bloom, even in the gloom.

  Don't go chasing cupid's arrowwww...

  Just because it's not a jolt to your heart!

  Don't mean you gotta run, bolt and dart.

  Give it time, you'll find our souls'll rhyme.

  Don't go chasing cupid's arrowwww...

  You can learn to love the one you're with!

  Don't go chasing cupid's arrow!

  Love can grow—

  I had lost the ability to talk or move, Juniper jumped up as the world turned to black.