Getting one hundred experience points might be a simple thing for a typical adventurer. But those lucky bastards have base stats, skills and probably a class. They also have a well-tested and efficient system with no glitches or bugs. Beyond the typical human error, clerk error or some drunk off his ass programmer.

  I, I have a patchwork pseudo strength attribute, a level in the single digits, no class, skills or any special powers. Accompanied by the old faithful system artificial intelligence named Jenny and a disinterested feline named Jeremy. This world doesn't stand a chance against us.

  Healed, rested and ready to harvest experience points like a pissed off miner. I removed my tie, wrapped it around my forehead, trying to get the whole commando vibe. I didn't withdraw the toaster of doom, despite its blood-soaked efficacy. That weapon of mass destruction needed rest.

  Instead, I equipped the lighter and spray can. Hopefully, there were ten convenient Briar Creepers all lined up for torching. Traipsing through the forest in search of prey, the only actual predator hidden in my bag. Cowardly little monster, not even leaning into the predator-prey dynamic inherent in cats.

  Naturally, it didn't take long to find another Briar Creeper. The deep, loamy scent of musty leaves and moss assaulted my olfactory senses before I even saw the monster. Although weak, they were good at stealth, able to appear like a typical bush beneath a tall tree.

  That would have worked, except I had already scanned this area, and my logs told me there was a level one Briar Creeper around this location. Don't you just love the power of the system, or at least my banged-together version?

  Not wasting anytime, I aimed the spray can, depressed the button on top of the can, flipped open the lighter and rained hellfire. Okay, that was an exaggeration, but the battle went way better than previously.

  The Creeper lashed at me with a vine the moment I came in range, and I blasted the annoying wretch with a gout of fire. And like he had a thick layer of kerosene, he burned right and proper.

  The flames engulfed his little vine whip, and Bellsprout started screaming. Take that! Viridian Forest has met its destroyer. And I'm not some twelve-year-old, I'm a badass Pyro, ready to go all Charmander on these fools.

  I know I'm talking about pokemon a lot, but damn this place feels like that forest level and all I've got is a Charmander slowly running out of power points. I mean, these spray cans don't refill and are not magical. But let's hope I have enough for ten more of these guys.

  The scent of a burning bush and the subsequent notification of experience points suggested it had finally died. As it should when meeting Promethean might!

  "One down, nine to go." I said oddly excited.

  The grind could be monotonous, but there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and that was levelling up. I wondered if this feeling drove all the denizens of Grimgard along the path to power. Where the petty mundane motivations of revenge, dominance and to protect a loved one. They were so small against the desire to increase the number. To be honest, at that very moment, I considered that very concept.

  With that in mind, it was time to grind low-level monsters and get my level up. I could go all montage, but what followed was anything but. It was mostly haphazard wandering around the forest, torching near defenceless level one monsters with a spray can and lighter.

  Not the most glorious of adventures, but a necessity to even be one. Because a single attribute on your status sheet did not make you an adventurer, it barely made you a person, technically.

  Every single person on this planet and every other planet in the system universe had lived, breathed and grown up with the system. It was a permanent fixture in their reality, and while my knowledge of the higher mysteries gave me an advantage. I lacked firsthand experience.

  So after the fourth Briar Creeper torched, the fifth monster whipped a vine slightly differently and set a nearby tree ablaze. I barely registered the notification as the flames engulfed the poor little oak.

  "How in the name of the gods is this forest so bloody flammable!"

  [Blazebark Tree. Description: A forest tree known for its gnarled red-tinged bark, leaves that shimmer in the sunlight. Secrets a substance known as Ignisap, a very flammable resin.]

  Jenny, forever the helpful system aid, brought up one of the many scan records I dismissed since it didn't have a level. Some trees in this forest were extremely flammable, and here I was going around torching monsters with a spray can and a lighter.

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  To be honest, I am amazed I hadn't torched the place long ago. But alas, my luck ran out, and now a fiery inferno was about to engulf me. Now, I could have been heroic right now. Thought of the people, monsters and animals that this blaze would naturally affect. I could have taken off my suit and tried to calm the fires. Maybe even emptied my store of bottled water.

  I could have done all of that. Instead, I did what I suspected most would do in this situation. Running away at full tilt, scared witless and with an intense desire not to die in a horrible fire. Apologising to every firefighter and hero in existence, please do not think less of me.

  [Experience Points Harvested.]

  [Experience Points Harvested.]

  [Experience Points Harvested.]

  [Experience Points Harvested.]

  "Oh, come on, way to pile it on!" I complained.

  You would think I would be happy, free experience points from just lighting a few fires. But there is killing a monster in a one-on-one battle. Getting the XP from a relatively fair fight. But setting the forest on fire and then harvesting experience points from a bunch of burn victims. That was arsonist-level evil, and it just made me feel super dirty.

  The notifications came flooding in, and I absently wondered how I was getting them. I didn't intentionally kill these creatures. I shouldn't be able to gobble up their experience points. But that didn't matter, since fire was a pretty good indicator to flee.

  Fleeing at full sprint, I decided this was not the time to ponder such matters. Instead, I focused on the lovely forest furiously passing by, untouched by the encroaching fire. Glancing back, panting like a dog chasing after an agile ball, I noticed one very notable thing.

  "Why is it following me?!" I screamed.

  The fire, which I created, decided this direction was the best one. Flames leapt from tree to tree, emboldened by the ignisap to grow larger and larger, consuming everything in their path. It also seems intent on catching up and consuming me as well. Trying not to feel targeted, I continued to run, pumping these legs faster and faster.

  Sadly, I hadn't created an attribute for movement speed or stamina. And with the coffee worn off half an hour ago. I was gasping to keep my breath, running on pure adrenaline and fear. Heart pounding so hard I could feel it in my teeth. Smoke was slowly gathering, choking the air, crawling its way down my throat and into my lungs.

  The coughing started, and I raised my arms to shield my face. How in the system's name was this fire so fast? It was burning without restraint and eagerly following me like a lost puppy on speed. With eyes squinted into slits, I tried to grasp any meagre thread of salvation. And like the grace of the system, it came as an opening in the brush.

  Pumping my legs with whatever I had left in the tank. I assumed my stamina bar would be on fumes right now. The opening was my ticket out of becoming a burn victim. Freedom was so close I could taste it. With one last push, I exited the inferno and fell upon my salvation.

  This salvation came in the form of dirt, but it least it wasn't scorching fire that melts the bone. Spitting the earthen taste out of my mouth, I knew it was best to continue. Rising to my full height, I ran in the opposite direction of the forest and realised this clearing was massive.

  Blazing forest behind me, and I shit you not. A giant ancient temple, covered in moss and vines, just sitting there in the middle of a burning forest. The ancient stone temple seemed way better than burning alive. I hopped to it and ran straight down the faded pathway and right up to the massive staircase.

  Cursing the gods for allowing any civilisation to make so many damn stairs. I took a quick look around, not really taking in any of the architecture. Mainly just checking for any threats as I ran up the stairs like the sedentary man I was. I mean, we had mandatory exercising at the company, but they didn't train us to be sprinters.

  Every step burned my calves, but that was better than actual fire. Eventually, after an embarrassing amount of time, I reached the top. For a second I considered telling the forest fire to go screw itself and declaring myself the king of the world. But alas, I am embracing my inner coward or, how I like to call it, my inner smart person who doesn't want to die.

  Massive stone doors were strangely wide open, and I entered without a second thought. The forest bloomed in the distance, red and angry. Probably pissed off about not eating me. I quickly apologised to all the monsters, animals and, hopefully, there were no campers. Before I entered the temple, and finally felt safe.

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