Starting from the temple mound he picked a street and walked east because it looked cleaner that way and there were fewer people loitering around. After a few blocks Ichiro came to a large stone building with a mural painted on it. It depicted a man with a large hammer facing off against a group of horned devils.
The building was some kind of fortress, there were no windows except for arrow slits on the higher floors and the main gate had an iron portcullis (raised). Above the gate there were some words carved into the stones, although Ichiro couldn’t read them. There weren’t very many signs in the town of Tumas to begin with, and unsurprisingly, they were not in English. His ability to speak the native language did not translate to being able to read…
Of course, Ichiro had his book. He checked his surroundings and pulled it out. He really wanted to know what this building was.
This is the local Adventurer’s guild.
The book didn’t really elaborate further, but Ichiro was just pleased that his suspicion had been correct. The Adventurer’s guild! He wanted to join! He did have a sort of professional curiosity about the sign though. What was it that what the carved words said? Could he get the book to provide him with a literal translation? He didn’t doubt the accuracy of the book’s [Identification] feature at all, but Ichiro didn’t really like the idea of not being able to read things.
He flipped to an empty page in the book and thought at it. There should be a [Translate] section. If I had my cellphone I could easily use google lens. After only a moment, to Ichiro’s surprise, the magical ink in the book obliged.
[Translate]
// People’s Militia of Tumas //
This new information caused Ichiro to pause. A militia was not exactly the same thing as the fantasy concept of an Adventurer’s guild. Or, it could be similar. He didn’t know. He would have to go inside and ask someone if he wanted answers. But the building had an intimidating presence. He loitered outside.
Ichiro took a few minutes to collect himself, which meant standing in the middle of the street and kind of admiring the big mural. His mind wasn’t calming down though, instead he was feeling more and more nervous, like he was on the precipice of a big decision.
Suddenly, there was an explosion behind him. It was as loud as a gunshot, causing him to almost jump out of his new shoes. WHUMPH! WHUmph! Then a smaller one. Whoomp.
The noises came from one of the row houses opposite the Adventurer’s guild. Actually, one of the doors had a sign over it. He still had his book open.
Alchemyst
Brews Matchmaking Candy
Then the door of the Alchemy shop burst open, and an old man stumbled out. A billowing plume of white smoke came with him. The volatile smelling smoke continued to pour out the door as the old man fell to his hands and knees and tried to cough up his lungs. The smoke was still half engulfing him and Ichiro, who was worried about his own health, heroically rushed forward and pulled him out of the cloud.
“FUCKING KWAAHGHG HAAaaa. FUKCIN DICKBALLSsss STUPID KWAAGHGH HAHG HA HA Haaa” The old man eventually caught his breath and transitioned to hocking up what seemed to Ichiro an alarming amount of sticky phlem.
“Are you… Alright? Sir? Can I get you some…” He was going to say ‘something to drink’ but the Alchemist was already chugging on a flask. Not the kind of flask you drink water out of though. Probably more like whiskey. Or maybe just an alchemical concoction.
“Don’t ever buy KWAAAGHGH HAAaa—“ The man coughed heartily again. “Don’t ever KWAAAAH Kah Kah KAH, don’t ever buy herbs from that WITCH ON THE BRIDGE!”
“Is this smoke… poisonous?” Ichiro felt a little light headed.
“DON’T DO IT!” The old man offers the flask, but Ichiro wisely refuses. “Sure, she’s cute, oh she’s cute! Sure, sure, she’ll give you a bargain, sure! SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT AN HERB EVEN IS! I might as well just pick WEEDS FROM THE DITCH AND BOIL MY OWN PISS!”
The alchemyst pushed Ichiro away and opened the windows on his shop front. Smoke was still coming out, and people began avoiding the street. The old man was small, barely five feet tall. He wore a dark brown robe covered in various colored stains and spills, and a soft leather skullcap. His face was deeply wrinkled and his earlobes were comically long, hanging down and jiggling around like brown gummy worms.
“Can you tell me where the Flower House is? Someone told me that was a good boarding house.” Ichiro interrupted him from glowering at his shop.
“It’s the one with the flowers. Isn’t it?” He gestures down the street. Actually, there is a house there with a bunch of flower boxes, one in every window. That made sense.
“Thanks. Have a good day?”
“You an adventurer, son? Sound like you’re from out of town. Stop by in an hour when the FUCKING SMOKE IS CLEARED!” He shakes his fist at his shop. “I’m Rozzo the Radiant! Best alchemyst in the kingdom, you know. Buy some potions. Not enough of you do. Smart though!” He tapped his head and wandered off randomly down the street. Coughing and spitting as he went.
The woman at the Flower House was named Fran. She was very friendly and showed Ichiro a room she had available. It was very small and bare, kind of like a hostel. He realized from the inside that Flower House actually extended for several of the row houses in each direction, and had 38 tiny rooms. Someone did laundry twice a week. There was a communal outhouse stuck to the back of the house which stunk, but what did you expect? He payed one half moon for a weeks rent, and listened to a lecture about being a respectful tenant.
“Oh you’ve met Rozzo then?” Fran says as Ichiro mentions the incident. She didn’t answer if it happened often, which meant that it did.
“Is he a good Alchemist? I was thinking about getting some potions.”
Fran looks at him like thats a silly question. “What kind of potions? He’s a nasty old man. He has his fans, though.” She admits. “And he’s the only Alchemyst around that doesn’t work for the Merchants, so you’ll go to him.”
“Oh. I’m not from around here.”
“Yeah, we can tell.” Fran says, smiling. She’s a jolly, fat lady. Ichiro wondered if she owned the tavern people were calling ‘Fat Frannie’s’ too. “Hey, if he tries to sell you a love potion-- tell someone. He’s not allowed, and you can get in a lot of trouble for slipping one into someones drink, OK?”
“I would never! Say, can you recommend a good tavern around here, I’m feeling a little hungry.”
“Just down the street! We have the best chicken biscuits in town, if I do say so myself!”
Ichiro didn’t go to the tavern, instead he took a nap. After an hour of his tiny new bed, feet hanging off the end, Ichiro decided that he would pay a visit to Rozzo, even though he was a nasty old man. He was curious about potions at least. Fran waved to him friendlily as he left, and her bright pink hair caught his eye. It was probably her natural color, he thought, one that he’d seen more often on the other, fancy side of town.
The Alchemyst shop still smelled a bit toxic. It was dingy and dim inside, and there weren’t even any products on display in the little waiting room.
“Strength draught? I’m raising the price to two moons.” The old man behind the counter doesn’t seem to recognize him from earlier.
“I’m Ichiro, we met before. Remember your little problem?”
“My little problem?” Rozzo looks confused. “Oh! You’ll talk to Fran for me? I could give you your next… three draughts for free. Four?”
“What are we talking about?” Ichiro’s blank and confused face stares at him.
“Obviously that’s not just for talking to her. Heh heh. If I’m allowed back into Frannie’s, and without some kind of RIDICULOUS limitation like ‘no ogling my daughter’ then I’ll give you your next five potions, draughts, candies, whatever you like, for free!” Rozzo rubs his hands together, and then holds one out for a shake.
“I was talking about your other problem. The exploding one!”
“Oh.” Rozzo seems disappointed. “Well, if you’re an herbalist we can do business. There aren’t any good ones in this stupid, ignorant town, and I’ll just say it, I’ve been blacklisted.”
“Umm.”
“This is heartleaf.” Rozzo brought a specimen up from under the counter. “But I need it fresh, AND IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE ARROWLEAF BUT HAS A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF SAP!” Rozzo screamed with practiced fury. “Do you know this plant? Can you tell the difference?”
“Umm. Actually, I think I can.”
Heartleaf can be found throughout the Tumas valley alongside it’s more common cousin Arrowleaf. It is used to produce red rosin, an alchemical ingredient used for love potions and mental focus pills.
“Book of [Identification]?” The old man whistled a little to emphatically for Ichiro’s comfort. “Well, you’re a bigger deal than you look, I see how it is. But we can still do business I think. You want something only Rozzo makes.” Now he winked conspiratorially at his young customer.
“I don’t want a love potion.”
“No? Oh, well maybe you're looking for something else that the merchant’s guild doesn’t deal in? Poison?” Ichiro shook his head.
“I just want money. I’m not really looking for any potions at all actually.” Rozzo’s workspace stunk and was rather filthy. He didn’t really want to ingest anything that had been created in the crusty glassware he saw through the door in the back room. And, there was something else back there too that Ichiro struggled to identify.
“Did Brox sell you his grue?”
“Ha! Smallest grue I’ve ever seen! He thought I’d pay the guild average!”
The alchemyst went into the back room without explaining himself and came back with a prize pinched between his fingers. It was one of the teeth. Ichiro wasn’t sure why he needed to show it to him, wishing that he could get out of the smelly shop sooner rather than later.
“The skin of a grue, well, it’s exactly what you’d expect from a creature of darkness. KAF! Kaf! Scuse me, my lungs aren’t feeling well lately.” Rozzo did look more than a little unhealthy. “The ultimate creature of darkness, even. Dark mana, through and through. Except for the teeth! What do you think they’re made of?”
Ichiro didn’t know.
“It’s light mana, boy. The grue’s teeth are made of light mana. Look it’s glowing, I’m holding it right here.” Ichiro looked a little bit closer, and he was right, the tooth was glowing with a pale white light. It was subtle. “I just soaked it in a mild fulgar solution, and it lights up the room, like that.”
“Okay. Sure, it lights up the room. Why are you showing me it though?”
“Well it’s just unexpected. Like you, if you don’t mind me saying. Something about you, that book, maybe something else. And me too. I’m not in it for the money, no, I’m a proper alchemyst, I am. With secrets! I’ve got some unexpected gems back here in my humble shop. So, we can do business, we can, and maybe I’ll let you in on my experimental elixirs.” Rozzo said the last bit with a twinkle in his eye. He had a very expressive face and he used it to tell Ichiro that he should feel very lucky to be Rozzo’s special friend.
“Oooookay. I’ll just get you some of that heartleaf I guess?”
“Yes, do that. And son?”
“Yes.”
“Talk to Frannie for me about getting unbanned. I’m a changed man. Tell her that.”