I bought a tub and two small bowls of ice cream to bring back and Stupid and I were on our way.

  “Beeg, we go see pony people today?”

  Pony people?

  “… Centaurs?”

  “Pony people,” Stupid nodded enthusiastically.

  I snorted. I would have to call Old Jenk a pony person some time.

  I blinked.

  On second thought… No. No I wouldn’t.

  “Not today, we should get back — we did leave It alone in the Store after all.”

  “Ok,” she chirped, skipping next to me, book in tow.

  She giggled and waved at an Ogre staring at us from across the street.

  The Ogre and I both blinked, probably for the same reason.

  It was probably strange to have your food wave to you after all.

  I snorted. I’d put my money on Stupid eleven times out of ten.

  The door wheezed in welcome when we got back.

  “Hey Buddy,” I smiled, holding the door so Stupid could skip through before I followed.

  It looked up slowly from Vaarg’s desk.

  “Hello Beeg,” he nodded.

  “Hey It, ice cream?”

  I proceeded to set his bowl in front of him.

  It blinked.

  “You got this, for me?” he asked.

  “Roasted Newt flavor,” I nodded.

  His eyes widened.

  “Thank you, Beeg,” he smiled, snatching up the bowl and sliding off the stool.

  “Stupid you are in charge, I’ll be back,” he called, shuffling down Aisle 4 faster than I had seen him move yet.

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  Stupid giggled, hopping up on the stool and putting her name tag on.

  I watched in fascinated horror as she pulled out pink lipstick and proceeded to draw it all over her face.

  “Ok, Stupid eez in charge! Beeg, go work!”

  I snorted.

  “I have some ice cream for you too, Ugly,” I called to nowhere in particular.

  I didn’t expect him to show — I had seen him less than a handful of times in the last year, but I didn’t want to risk him watching and thinking he was forgotten.

  “Thank you, Beeg,” a voice responded instantly from beside my leg.

  I glanced down to see Ugly looking at me expectantly.

  I had forgotten just… how unfortunate his face was.

  “What’s my flavor?” he pressed.

  “‘Baleful Banshee’,” I smiled.

  “How intriguing. This is most acceptable. Thank you, Beeg,” he nodded, taking his ice cream.

  “Beeg!”

  I glanced up to see Stupid falling off her chair only to land on her ears.

  “You’re welcome —“ I began, as I made my way over to help her.

  But Ugly was already gone.

  “Ugly… “ I finished to thin air, righting Stupid back onto her stool.

  “Henrietta, did you see that?”

  “The Master is gone not even one day, and already he seeks to turn the staff to him — “

  “We must remain loyal, who knows — “

  “Who knows what might happen to us, if we betray the Master!”

  “It was ice cream,” I huffed.

  “A likely story! A likely story indeed!”

  “As if he does not know ice cream is a sure way into a magical goblins heart!”

  I paused. “Is it really?”

  “It could be!” Sibil shrieked.

  I rolled my eye.

  “Hey Buddy, want your ice cream?” I asked, holding the tub out in front of me.

  The Store instantly opened a hole for me, amidst the horrified shrieks from Aisle 2.

  Stupid; however, was clapping. “Mageek Store! Mageek Store!”

  The Store swallowed the tub wholesale, the floorboards rattling in enjoyment.

  “Who knew you liked ‘Raspberry Parfait’,” I grinned.

  The Store creaked back happily, opening a new hole to my cleaning cubby.

  “Stupid, I’m going to dust the front of the Store. When It gets back, we can look at the book together.”

  “Ok Beeg! Yeth, you clean! Cleaning Mageek! Dusting Mageek!” she clapped.

  “Ah, we spoke too harshly!”

  “He will clean us to oblivion! Henrietta, what were we thinking?”

  “Quickly, flee to the depths of our Aisle!”

  “We must remain silent, lest the Warlock remember us!”

  I grunted and rolled my eyes.

  “Thanks buddy,” I said, picking the duster I knew it liked the most.

  I knew it liked it because it was the only one it never took a bite out of when I dusted the shelves.

  I rolled my shoulders and got to work.

  ____

  It joined us a few minutes later.

  I was balanced on a stool dusting the top of a shelf. I probably could have asked the Store to make some stairs for me, but the stool worked fine.

  “Beeg. That was delicious,” he monotoned. “Thank you.”

  The sharp teeth of his smile glinting in the gloom of the Store would have frightened anyone else.

  For me? I knew it was the gratitude of a friend.

  “Of course,” I smiled.

  He shooed Stupid off the stool, who happily complied with a laugh, launching herself off to have fun.

  Fun probably being destroying my Aisle so she could watch it “magically” clean itself again.

  I sighed.

  “Well, let’s take a look at your book,” It nodded, settling in.

  I set it down gently on the counter. While the goblins apparently had the ability to toss it around, I did not feel the same ease.

  I froze.

  “It… the last time I opened the book in a dirty room… “

  It smiled.

  “HE IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!” the cloaks shrieked in unison.