Team Cheese was the worst team out of all three. I was sure of it when Addy volunteered me, Becca, and a queasy-looking Orianna for it. I was doubly sure of it when I touched the dollhouse and felt my body shrink down past mouse-size. And I was triply sure of it when the game started with everyone gathered in one place.
It was a central plaza inside an unusually large mansion. The Dollhouse Oakside reminded me of the Creektin mall, except everything was garishly pink, green, or in shades of blue. The ground was plastic, the trees were plastic, heck, even the water floating inside the small fountain was plastic.
People were looking up. I followed suit. There was a little digital icon floating above my head depicting a half-eaten wheel of Emmentaler, plus the number of contestants left in every team.
Oh, how helpful.
Time to run.
“Get them!”
Now, I had a bit of a problem. I was supposed to be level 7. Stat-wise, I was going to have to sandbag hard, but that wasn’t the worst of it. To sustain my cover, I could only reasonably have about two spells, one of which was taken up by [Vampirism I - Blood of Nezahualcóyotl].
I could explain [More Arms] and [More Spider Eyes] away by claiming that I was a werespider, though I wouldn’t be able to cast the latter to realign my pairs of eyes. Too suspicious.
That left [Elasticity], [Arms & Arms proficiency], [One Moment], and [Illusory Double]. While I could probably get away with using [Elasticity] while hiding inside my room, and the effect of [One Moment] could be explained away by preternatural spider senses and good luck, I had to choose between the other two spells, one of which I wouldn’t be able to openly cast until I ‘gained’ at least enough levels to reach level 10.
And at the moment, that decision was taken from me because I didn’t want to get blasted in the first five seconds.
The key to illusions is misdirection.
“Body Double!” I yelled, and tossed a single — only one — body double behind me. The body double took off at full tilt while I jittered and staggered forwards. Predictably, the one running away from the mass of casters instead casually sauntering towards them drew most of the attention away from me.
That is, until a whip of light immediately bisected the double. I froze, suddenly all eyes back on me again.
Light blue color, no chant, probably a surprise-aligned spell, or an automatic spell triggered on some condition.
Some other Custodians were slower on the uptake while others were holding out flat palms or other handsigns, standing tall without caring that someone else was likely targeting them as well.
“Emmerich’s flame—”
“404 Life Not Found—”
“Doublecast: Hegemony—”
I wasn’t keen on staying to listen to the rest of their chants. Magic was exciting the same way shooting a heavy gun was. It was only fun until the business end was pointing in my direction.
The problem was that I was literally surrounded by people on all sides. Running away in a straight line wouldn’t do much to provide them with a difficult to hit target, and standing still was also just suicide. Becca was still sliming on the ground — no chance for her to evade either. And Orianna… poor Orianna was frozen like a deer in headlights.
And then there came Addy, one half-breath quicker than the rest.
“Overcharge: Get off me!”
Addy was one of the highest level people present, and she’d had ages to refine her build and spells.
People were blown off their feet, chants interrupted as barriers of blue and orange flickering around most of them. For the first time I finally got to see what Addy's spell did in detail. Wherever it hit, a handful of small cuts sparked across the Custodian shields, enough to cut a mundane body to pieces, but not enough to bypass magical barriers. One unfortunate guy didn’t have his shield up, or didn’t have one period, and his head went flying, shortly after glitching out and disappearing.
This was a game. A magically assisted, hyperrealistic game, but a game nonetheless.
As a result, I was swept away as well, feeling cuts leave welts across my arms, but nothing more. Thank god for uncuttable tights and body suits. If I didn’t have over a hundred in Body, I would’ve probably still broken an arm.
I skidded to a stop as my back hit the fountain.
The only people who seemed entirely unaffected by Addy’s spell were Mason, and a vampire who simply held up his hand and parted the storm of blades like Moses parting water.
Mason gave an approving look to Addy before turning to the vampire, who was staring at him slack-jawed. “Eddy? I thought you’d have graduated by now. Is ol’ Nemo still holding you back?”
“He is, the slimy bastard. But it seems I have bigger problems at the moment, oh Mason, my arch rival. Good to see you back in good health.” He summoned a knife into his hand. “Oh and by the way: I hereby declare a duel.”
A wisp of ghostly vapor emerged from Eddy's throat, binding his arm with Mason’s in ghostly chains.
“Oh sure, I’m happy to make you eat plastic.” Mason punched his hands together with a wide grin before leaping right onto the vampire. Yup, definitely know where Addy got her reckless cockiness from.
The vampire repulsed him with a frown and a stretched out hand. Mason suddenly disappeared, followed by the sound of something crashing through the ceiling.
Eddy’s eyes met mine. He was team cat.
“... meep.”
“You will be the last cheese I eliminate, little level 7,” he said in a calm voice. “Go.”
What he didn’t know was that I’d already been running long before that. One of the throwaway drones I used to record content for Tanya was hovering nearby, rotors quiet as a whisper. My body double who was enacting a convincing ‘newbie frozen in fear’ act nodded once and then left.
Those two seemed to be on good terms at least. Proof that both sides could see eye to eye. Maybe it had something to do with this rival business?
Magical girls do need a rival to keep them on their toes.
… do they count as magical boys? Super heroes? Sentai rangers?
God, I hate this stupid were-vamp beef. I just want to get it over with so I can continue being a sneaky undercover magical girl. I will spread the good word of frills and lacy dresses, and also spiders, throughout the academy. First the centers of education will be mine, then the world!
But first, I gotta make sure I don't get squashed.
Outside the building, I leapt over a pool, which was just a sheet of plastic colored blue with white highlights, clambered up an awfully light date palm, and leapt on top of the mansion. A few moments later, a flyer passed by the exit I’d just taken moments before. The nervous thrum in my heart grew louder. Better to find a place without open spaces for them to fly around and bombard me in at their leisure.
Now, why exactly did Addy volunteer us for this team?
+++
Orianna
Orianna was busy being chased by a trio of mice. There was a slime clinging to her torso and back — a slime that ate one of her orbs — which didn’t make balancing on the remaining floating ball of surprise any easier.
AAAAAAAH! Why did I ever agree to this? Why why why whyyyyy!?
An angry gout of fire spewed past her head as she bobbed, singing her hair. If she got her hands on that tanuki, she was turning her into yaki skewers. This damn idea of hers was suicide.
It could’ve just been a normal, simple battle royale game. Friends one semester up had always said they loved dollhouse time. Discovering new things about your own spells in a safe environment, a good workout combined with the lovely Academy showers, friendly competition — emphasis on friendly… It sounded like a dream.
In reality, it was a nightmare. Her fellow Custodians were the lucky ones. They didn’t have to contend with having an uncompleted build, nor any insane so-called ‘allies’ drawing targets on their backs.
Team Cheese was terrible not just because the Mice wanted to kill her for points, but because the Cats also needed to kill her so as not to lose the game while also reducing the amount of points the mice were getting. The mice needed to hurry while also being hunted, making them especially vicious, while the cats could in theory take their time to leisurely corner their prey until all poisonous cheese was eliminated like, well, cats.
It was a fun dynamic on paper, as long as you were a cat.
And then there were the post-grads duking it out in the middle of the mansion like some sort of apocalyptic kaiju battle. Their voices and spells echoed throughout.
I can’t believe they’re only supposed to be around level forty. The dollhouse mansion is already missing its roof. What sort of insane synergy do they have that allows them to—
A voice deep in the mansion boomed, echoing through the halls. “They Call Me The Bomb.”
“The what?” one of her pursuers asked as Orianna jumped behind a pillar to dodge an obviously telegraphed [Fire Breath], confirming at least that her Cabal's info that new Custodians weren’t accustomed to fighting against intelligent opponents could be applied in practice.
This, coincidentally, saved her from the blastwave that whipped up every piece of dust in the entire mansion and sandblasted everyone following her out of the air. Three Custodians lay sprawled out on the ground or rotating in the air helplessly. This was her chance.
“Orb: Accelerate,” she said.
Her necklace, earrings, and armlets burst apart, a swarm of lead balls hovering in the air before shooting towards the Custodians. It wouldn’t be enough of course, but this scattershot was just there to soften them up.
One of the head-sized steel orbs she requisitioned for a whole soulcoin jerked, zipping straight towards the fire breather — and also bounced off of that damn shield.
She bit her lips in frustration.
Dammit. If only I could afford a shield too.
But her build didn’t allow for a self-casted one until level forty, and the tinkered ones were nearly as expensive as flying essences due to high demand. She was trying to copy flying by standing on a pair of floating orbs she could move using [Orbikinesis] as a holdover until she hit level thirty, but so far, it took way more balance and concentration than she was comfortable with.
And now, between all this frustrated hemming and hawing, the mice were getting their bearings again.
Dammit. You did it again, Orianna. Hesitated and overthought a simple thing. You should’ve just run.
A soccer ball bounced on towards one of the Custodians. Orianna blinked, then shrieked when the ball bounced past the barrier at a leisurely speed and opened up to reveal a maw of sharpened steel spikes that swallowed the Custodian’s head whole.
He phased out shortly after. Orianna blinked, breath coming heavy.
O-oh. That’s how they all have shields. They got cheaper ones with big weaknesses. Weaknesses like not blocking slow projectiles?
She hovered a metal orb into the fire-breather’s barrier. There was resistance, for a moment, before it slipped past and inside the barrier.
“Orb: Accelerate.” The ball didn’t bounce around inside the barrier — the barrier was tuned to prevent entry, not exit —, but hit the flame-breather once across the chin, knocking her out.
The last mouse looked on in shocked horror as the mimic-ball bounced over and finished his companion off with a crunch. He hovered tens of feet up and away, shoving against the air like he was crawling backwards on his hands.
“T-the fuck kind of familiar is that?”
Orianna looked at the slime, which had turned into a round metal ball, as if sulking that it couldn’t follow its prey into the air.
“That’s not a familiar. That’s my roommate.” Squinting, she drew a line from Rebecca the mimic to the mouse. “Orb: Accelerate?”
The soccer ball-becca flew right into the mouse’s face, splattering all around the barrier. His was a good one, or it had some other weakness they hadn’t found out yet. But, well, this was a mimic queen, and judging by his lack of casting, his vocal fear was not useful to any of his spells. Like sweet marzipan around a hazelnut core, Becca expanded to cover his shield, slowly ramping up the pressure until it buckled with a crunch.
Oh god. I think I’m gonna be sick.
The mimic fell, turning into a ball mid-air before bouncing harmlessly across the ground towards her. Orianna held out a hand, more out of shock than desire to cast.
The ball stopped, hanging in mid-air.
[Orbikinesis]’ effectiveness falls off drastically against non-orb-shaped objects, as well as objects I’m not familiar with. And because she ate my fear ball…
Her spell didn’t just make it a valid target, but an effective one as well. Familiarity and orb-ness were multipliers to her spell. But perhaps her concept of what all counted as an orb had been holding her back.
… what happens if I get familiar with these spherical barriers?
A tap on her leg made her go “Eeep!”
It was the mimic-slime. Rebecca. Her ally. A… friend?
No. Impossible. A Custodian could never be friends with a mimic. Except… maybe this mimic was the exception. It seemed awfully companionable.
“How do I even begin talking to you?”
Wobble.
“Was that a yes wobble or a no wobble?”
Wobble.
“Hm. Yes. Well, either way, we should get out of here. Let’s split up, so we don’t get caught togeth—” Mimic-Rebecca glomped onto her leg, then oobled up until she covered her chest like form-adhering armor. She was cold, like the steel she was mimicking, and flexible, like a textile. She wanted to protect her, probably. If she was aware that Orianna could feel her moving constantly, and that it was helping supercharge the fear necessary for her spells, then she didn’t show it.
Orianna shivered. “O-or we can do that. Okay. Let’s just, uh, take this slowly. No sudden moves.”
“There’s two cheeses!” someone yelled. “Get ‘em!”
A sickle made of black void cut the hair on one side of her head down to shoulder length.
AAAAAAH! This was a terrible idea!
+++
Sam
There was a cute little tower jutting out the eastern side of the mansion, complete with pinkish-purple shingles meeting in a pointed spire, and a me-sized unmoving barbie doll that was probably used for other game modes like hostage extraction or something sitting inside it. It had a wonderful view of the surrounding area, and a forty-plus foot straight ladder that would make leaving the tower a breeze.
It was the ideal hidey spot for a trapdoor spider Sam. But somehow, now that the adrenaline was less a spike of fear and more a low undercurrent, I wasn’t really feeling it.
One of the Cats flew past, aiming leisurely at someone way below. I had them in the sights of my Spab-4, the giant shotgun not swaying at all in my grip. The simulated system shop didn’t have access to any shield-penetrating rounds, but at this distance, a burst of full-auto would most definitely pop it like a balloon. And if it didn’t, there was my Lucky 7 too in another hand, and two pricklers, and a bazooka.
An orb of cotton candy appeared in the Cat’s hands before shooting down, sticking whoever the unlucky target was to the surface under threads of adhering candy. I wasn’t ever going to get a better shot than now.
I lowered my gun. The Cat, after a moment of peering down, flew away. He was so predictable. They all were. None of them were treating this like it was real. If this were a convergence event, they would all be dead. But that wasn’t the chief reason for my hesitation.
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
I sighed.
The one rule Dad pushed into my head was to never, ever, EVER point a gun at a person. Guns for him are a sport, a hobby.
They aren’t for me. They can’t be. And yet… why can’t I just shoot someone?
It had worked fine with mimics. They were just objects, or evil critters; legal targets both. But the moment I targeted a person, the moment I saw the whites in their eyes, my fingers seized up and my heart clenched. I didn’t want to shoot a person, let alone a Custodian.
That was the most un-magical girl thing I could possibly do.
Sighing, I checked how many people in Team Cheese were left.
[Cheeses: 3]
[Time left: 14:57]
We’d started with twelve people. Half of the game time was over. Someone was probably going to find me before the time was up, and then I would have to defend myself. Against a real, breathing person.
<
<
<
It took a while before Addy replied, during which two more Custodians came perilously close to discovering my hiding spot. I sent a body double the other way to make doubly sure they were busy for the time.
<
Through one of my drones, I watched a mouse obliterate one of my body doubles with a triumphant ‘hah!’, only to get viciously stabbed in the back by some sort of praying-mantis-looking person who had definitely not been in our group before. Possibly a transformation essence. Possibly a were-mantis.
Is there even a difference?
I mulled over Addy’s response.
I want to figure out my new gun, what the five emotional charges besides anger and disgust can do. I want to learn how to play the game, like everyone else. How to prove that I belong here, even though I was just a passive observer of the unknown, a voyeur, for most of my life.
I sighed again, deep and grumbly, uncaring whether someone with high sense was going to hear me. Most of the remaining Custodians didn’t seem to have a lot of Sense anyways. They were all-in on Soul for flight and spell-spamming, and some Mind for quicker casting.
Maybe I’m the idiot for trying to make a new build. Maybe I should just keep my head down and let all the drama flow past me. I bet I could have a really fun time at the Academy if I did: Dates with Addy, picnics on this beautiful island, exams, pranks, a slew of likeminded friends.
Mom never turned a blind eye to trouble, even while literally going blind.
Yep. Thought as much. Some things just shouldn’t change.
I groaned loudly. This time, someone did notice.
The tower imploded, a small yet harsh gravitational pull collapsing it inwards before spewing twisted plastic and dismembered barbie pieces all across the vicinity. The culprit: a foxy-looking wereperson some two stories below.
“Gravitational crunch!” said Momo, blowing up the rest of the now contorted tower a second time. She froze the moment she heard a click behind her.
“Thorough, brutal.” I sipped on a can of dogwatah, Lucky 7 pointed straight at the back of her neck.
“Away!” A burst of force sent me flying across the rooftops.
She grinned and turned to leave, only to walk face-first into the barrel of my Spab-4. She went cross-eyed.
“Yeah. No. Sorry.” I sipped even more loudly. I only had guns in half of my hands. “That was my body double. Can we talk? I really don’t want your second impression of me being me blowing your head off.”
She let out a shaky breath. “Do you do this to every girl you meet?”
“Do what?” I did a double take, looking at her up and down. She was rocking a kimono that was white on the outside with a couple star motifs in the shape of flowers, and purple on the inside, glittering like a secret shared only between her and observant people like me. “Love your makeup by the by, and your costume. Is that the right word or is it more of a work uniform?”
“I prefer costume, yes. Crafting the right image is as important as crafting the right tool for mimic obliteration,” she held up her hands, which were more prettily manicured than mine. “Our lodge has great crafters. May I introduce you, perhaps? You carry yourself more as a werespider than a vampire. You have, er, spunk? Spunk, for a new kid.”
“You could say I’m quite lonely. Well, I do have Addy. But I suppose you could also make the claim that I’m addicted to making friends with and for her.” I scratched my cheek, miming awkwardness. “She’s a bit, err… friend deprived.”
She clasped her hands. “Then you should join us both at Amani’s freshman party!”
That’s the Lodge party this weekend. Score!
“That would be lovely! When and where?”
“Right after today's BatTac II session, eight in the evening, in dorm 304.”
“I’ll be there!” I said and made to pull the trigger.
Her hand twisted, and without a chant she cast [Away] again. It was a quick spell, surprise-adjacent probably, that created a pushing force in any one direction away from her.
The power slammed me into the ground, right as she took out an awfully sharp vibrating shortsword and dug it way up in my guts. Except, that wasn’t me, was it?
My body-double grinned. “Oh by the way, remember your first cast of [Away]? Yeah, you didn’t hit a body double.”
The look on her face as I shot her from behind was priceless. She had a shield like everyone else. It held against three shots of a full-auto Spab-4 before shattering like glass.
[You have slain: Cat x1]
[Your place on the semesterly leaderboard: #28]
[Your place in the grand leaderboard: #12401]
Oh, they have scoreboards and ranks. It really is like a videogame.
Now I just have to get an invitation from that damn vampire. But how does one impress a friggin’ vampire?
+++
Rebecca
Those motherfucking cheaters.
Sadly, after a run-in with a duo of Mice that had a rather unfortunate illusion-plus-acidic-gas combo, me and my convenient vampire-shaped mode of transport were knocked out. We stood together with a steadily growing two thirds of the course that had also bitten the dust. Everyone was crowded around the dollhouse, watching the tiny figures blast their way through each other in miniature.
I’d been following Sam as she went on a veritable rampage, despite only really needing to hide. One opponent lost to a bazooka shot, another looked haunted after a goopy slime had eaten his face off, and a group of werehogs and werehounds had tried to corner her, only to realize too late that they were dealing with one of her body doubles. Her toolbox for adapting to different opponents seemed endless.
A few others have noticed the noise she’s making. Ah, here comes the war crime duo.
They seemed poised to run into each other at a cross-section, each side oblivious to the other. Except… Samantha had a body double ranging ahead.
The duo nearly attacked it, but chose not to give their position away. The clash that followed was short and brutal. They gassed her, and the illusion-caster immediately created a box around her, a box that was awfully solid for an illusion, and that zapped her with electric shocks whenever she tried to leave.
That’s it then. For them.
The duo looked ahead, not recognizing the mine-sized threat creeping up on them. They’d ignored her drones too. A fatal mistake.
A single mine crawled under their shields and detonated. A moment later, the duo appeared next to the dollhouse with the other losers.
Haha, yes! Suck on that, bastards! Let that be a lesson for not standing close to eachother.
“What… what the fuck?” One of them cried. “What the fuck was that?”
“Cheating. She has to be,” the other part of the duo yelled. “Buying those things is unfair.”
“Perhaps make yourselves familiar with how to efficiently search the system shop,” instructor Blazeblue said.
“That’s… there wasn’t a lot of time! We were being hunted from second one.”
“Then take the L with grace,” the instructor said with a shrug. “Next time, check your six or get splattered, for real for real.”
“I can’t exactly grow eyes in the back of my head. And my spell only works within line of sight — ah!” Warcrime duo member #2 shut her mouth.
Too late, beans spilled, will find a way to kill you in a future game. Die trash.
… maybe this is why Sam always called me toxic whenever we played videogames together.
Regardless, one part of the warcrime duo was loudly exclaiming that Sam was going to get knocked out any time now. A mere level 7 couldn’t possibly endure for longer than the majority of Custodians present. Her little figure on the dollhouse grounds collapsed on the ground a couple dozen feet out of the acid cloud.
But after a moment, she got up, and even started running, right towards the last group of people that were still in the game.
For a brief moment, I thought they had her.
“Who is that?” asked a girl with fox ears.
‘That’s Sam!’ I wanted to yell, but alas, still no voice.
Orianna raised her hand. “That’s my, uh, roommate.”
A few eyebrows rose.
“Who’s the tanuki with all those kills?” someone else asked.
“... also my roommate.”
Suddenly, Orianna was the center of attention. Good for her.
The center of the mansion had collapsed into a maelstrom of violence. The few people still holding out were gathered around it for one simple reason: One of the two post-grads was a poisoned cheese. They had to kill him, or they would all lose.
This game was designed by a cruel individual. I like it.
The battle between the hedgehog who periodically exploded and the vampire who would not be moved raged on, all the while Sam sneakily picked off the odd person along the edges. Now people were really starting to notice the newcomers.
“A soulcoin on the new girl.”
“A soulcoin against that. I’m putting mine on the scary vampire.”
I bet ten. Orianna! Listen to me! I bet ten!
Through some wobbling, I managed to convey my intentions. Orianna only bet three though. Cheapskate.
There was a sudden surge, as the vampire punched the werehedgehog so hard he flew out of bounds, which was apparently defined as somewhere between three hundred and six hundred feet in the air.
He popped out of the dollhouse, grew big, and slammed back-first into a rack of training gear. He seemed less injured and more… insulted.
“Aw man,” he said. “Well, not here to win anyways.”
I turned back to the dollhouse. There weren’t many people left. With the vampire standing right below a giant werehedgehog-shaped hole in the wall of the mansion, nobody dared approach.
Nobody but one reckless friend of mine.
+++
Sam
The vampire had a pin on his shirt that said ‘Cabaliers’ in an overly ornate font, and that was all I needed to know to conclude that impressing him was my ticket to the other party being hosted tonight, the vampire party.
A wave of compressed air wooshed past my left ear, crumpling a plastic wall in the background. “Let me party!”
The vampire blocked a shot of goop from my Goop Gun, tossing it to the side like it was water. “No.”
“Pretty please, party-party!” I hit him with my Spab-4 at center mass. From this close up, it was hard to miss. It pushed him back a few inches before the four lead balls — now flattened like coins — tinkled off of him and onto the floor. Nothing I was doing had any effect on him. It was like he had a forcefield around him that I couldn’t see.
“No!” He aimed an open palm at me. Those were lethal. Immediately, I split a body double off of me.
He shot that one, of course, ignoring the real me running at him. Because which sane person tried the same trick twice?
Me, the person now in melee-range of the invincible vampire, that’s who.
But of course, no one was invincible. Not Addy, not the Ur-mimic, and certainly not this guy. He never let me circle around his back, only ever showing his front. It made me think that he couldn’t repulse what he couldn’t see, or that he had some sort of weak spot between his shoulderblades.
[Edward “Eddy” P. Esquire, Lvl 42 Reclined Repulsor]
Repulsor? I suppose he could repulse bullets if he was charging an emotion hard enough. He doesn’t out-level me by much. Is he an exception, or is he the norm at that level?
And why does he not want me to party!?
“Why not?”
“You didn’t specify which party.”
“The Cabalier’s party.”
“Which Cabalier party specifically?” He brushed the dusty remains of a high explosive shot off of his chest. “If you don’t know the name, you’re not invited. That’s how it goes.”
“Oh, really now? Bet this party is reaaal exclusive.” I said, while mentally texting Orianna.
TooManyArms: <
SphericalMiracle42: <
TooManyArms: <
SphericalMiracle42: <
SphericalMiracle42: <
>
SphericalMiracle42: <
I paused, “Of course I’m invited to the Big Blood Bonanza, aren’t you?”
“... seriously, that’s the name?”
“You… weren’t invited?”
“I am never invited!” he cried in exasperation. “People will see my power and my patron vampire and think I’m an unfun guy. My power is repulsion, not being repulsive. I am in fact a very fun guy. I have party tricks which, by definition, are specifically intended for parties. Look, here. This is quartz I bought off of Temu.”
With a flourish he produced a chunk of rocky crystal. I paused my reload halfwy through as it began floating over the top of his palm. When he added his other palm above that, the piece of quartz oscillated dangerously, before cracking, and sparking, breaking off in pieces of light blue-shimmering light.
“See? It’s dark enough in here to see. When I showed it to the saleswoman who sold me this rock, she was awestruck, said I was making plasma. ‘Like a nuclear fission reactor in my hands’ she said. I immediately bought more; I keep some on me just for occasions like this.”
We both stared at each other for a long moment; him, happy that he finally got to use his powers of lethal repulsion to make sparks of light; me, fully aware of the physics that declared that this wasn’t a case of ionization creating plasma, but triboluminescence, a much less energetically intensive reaction. Creating plasma would require… an ungodly amount of pressure.
He waggled his eyebrows. Not sexily, just… expecting praise. Like an enthusiastic golden retriever.
Vampire himbo?
“I think it’s pretty cool?” I hedged.
“Yesss! Finally, all that training paid off.”
Definitely vampire himbo.
I lowered my many weapons. The whole fight-eachother-to-death vibe was sort of ruined at this point. “Look, I’m going to the party, I’m sure they won’t mind a plus one. If I introduce you, will you forfeit this round?”
“What? No.” He seemed affronted at the idea. “I have a deal with instructor BlazeBlue: I win, and we split the winnings. That’s part of the lesson: if you can’t win on your own, it’s alright to call in a higher level helper.”
“A secret deal? And a secret lesson? Gasp! Summon-Bazooka!”
He gasped. “A real bazooka? That’s so cool!” With a repulsive kick, he zipped right in front of me, blocked my trigger finger, and plucked the anti-vampire rpg warhead right from the barrel. “This is a bit of a weird warhead though. Looks kinda like a pinecone.”
“Yeah, well, uh, look up there, a distraction!”
He looked up. I smacked the anti-vampire warhead out of his hand and kicked it right behind his back.
“Addy, catch!”
She landed right behind him, saw his outstretched hand, and decided not to waste any time playing ball. A normal shield flickered for a moment before letting her past as she skewered the warhead and shoved it into the small of his back.
Her sword ignited. The ball exploded, peppering everyone with bits of spiky ashwood. For Addy and I, it hurt a lot. For the vampire, it made him seize up completely. The whole ‘can’t be touched’ deal was apparently a mix of telekinesis and a fairly basic shield projected out from his belt.
Somehow, victory didn’t make me feel much better. Compared to sparring with Addy, this was the only good fight I’d had all day. The rest just didn’t feel earned, heck, half of my victories today were because I was exploiting the lack of real-combat experience of the entire course. Sure, they had me beat in terms of magical output, but what did that matter when they didn’t have the Body or shields to survive a bullet to the back of their head?
Once again I was reminded why Custodians had extra lives.
“How do we get around this one?” I asked, poking at the groaning vampire, who was lying on the ground, stiff as a board.
“We don’t really have to?” Addy said. “We’re cheese. We don’t eat Cats. We’re also the last people remaining.”
She stabbed the vampire through the heart and he disappeared in a flash.
[Congratulations! You have reached level 35]
[+4 Body, +2 Sense, +2 Mind, +4 Soul, +1 Free Stat Point, +1 Upgrade point]
I blinked at the notification. “Addy, I just leveled up.”
“You did?” There was naked excitement in her voice. “Get your essence upgrade then. You already planned which one to take, right?”
“Nngh.” That didn’t mean I didn’t also still have doubts. Between an extra spell from my essence’s spell pool, upgrading an existing spell, and increasing an essence’s stat growth by one, I was spoiled for choices both good and bad.
What if I got a spell upgrade that turned irrelevant when I chose my next essence? What if taking stat upgrades was the right choice?
Follow the plan, Sam. Trust the you that spent days thinking it through instead of the you second-guessing yourself for half a minute. It’s not a bad option. They’ll never know you’re using another spell.
I mustered all my courage and clicked the upgrade panel.
[Gaining additional spell roll for: Coral Leaper Essence]
[Gaining: (1) of (3) Spells]
[Setae] - Anticipation
Charges: 1/1
Charge cost: Minor (variable)
Your body grows many different Setae, capable of sensing pressure differentials, chemical compounds, vibrations, and pheromones in a [3] meter radius around you. The effective radius grows by [5%] per point of Sense. Cost increases depending on number of Setae created.
[Peacock-spider mating dance] - Anticipation
Channeled ability
Charge cost: Major
Enter a mating dance that may last up to an hour. During this dance, all onlookers are compelled to stop hostile activities and observe your performance. Greatly lowers inhibitions during channel. Strength of mental compulsion dependent on Mind.
[Sticky] - Anticipation
Channeled ability
Charge cost: Minor
Allow parts of your body to adhere to objects. Does not require a chant.
Flipping mating dance!?
No. Nope, nope, nope. I’m taking [Sticky], as is ordained.
…I bet Addy would like a dance performance though.
Nooo! Away, ye treacherous thoughts, away!
I took [Sticky] and purged my memory of the last seconds. That of course left me staring dumbly and short-of-breath at Addy.
“Hey Addy. High five.”
She accepted the high five with a smack. When she tried to pull away, my sticky hand wouldn’t let her.
“Wow, Addy, look at what you’ve done,” I said.
“I finished off the rest of the cats and mice?” she asked quizzically.
“You did?”
“Obviously.” She snorted. “None of these newbies knows how to handle a half-ton weretanuki running straight at them, besides flying far, far away. Which they can’t, if I surprise them. Normal Tanuki-me is very quiet. You out of tricks yet?”
“No?” I said with an encroaching dread. “Addy, why are you looking at me like that?”
“Oh, no reason.” She twirled her blade once. “Last cheese wins first place.”
I didn’t win first place, considering I was still glued to her with my dang hand. But I got damn close!
Addy was a devious duelist if you let her get close. Her enjoyment from the act of walking the razor’s edge seemed obsessive and almost a bit… sexual?
Maybe she knows I’m going to pay her back for every cut and bruise ten times over later.
Maybe she’s looking forward to it. Which means now I’m looking forward to it too.
[Charging emotion: Anticipation]
When I plopped out of the dollhouse, it was to a general, stunned silence. The instructor was all smiles. For someone who introduced themselves by making people do 200 push-ups, that was never a good sign.
“Looks like we got two of ‘em crazies this year. They've got rizz, they're slick with it, for real for real. Look closely, class, because magic-on-magic duels are a lot less common than what they’ve been throwing at you. There are mimics out there that don’t play fair, and machines that can bypass shields, and magic-stealing golems that use the same guerilla tactics they have; sneaky, unassuming, lethal. This is what many encounters of the lethal kind will forge you into, more or less. Assuming you survive, of course, which is what this course is for.”
My system beeped with an incoming communication request. It was an invitation to a video stream.
“Now, let's review the footage and see where we could’ve made them lose a life or two.”