WHERE THE HELL ARE WE

  Ash

  20th day of Silvershine, Year 1011 of the Custorian Calendar

  “Rise and shine, baby. You got work to do.”

  “Tess?” I groaned. Every part of me ached. My eyes cracked open, and everything was blurry. Slowly, thousands of stars came into focus above me. They shone like diamonds in an endless sea of black. The twinkling lights looked down on me in wonder, and a smile crept onto my lips. My eyes closed again as a cool breeze drifted by.

  I’ll probably feel better after a few more-

  My eyes opened again, this time my brows pinched together in confusion.

  Why the fuck am I lying on wet grass? Wasn’t I just in the dojo? Yeah, I walked in, said hi to Cassie, and then...I bolted to my feet and felt myself all over, making sure all my body parts were still there. Everything was accounted for. But where the hell was I?

  Cool mist hung in the air, illuminated by moonlight. Luckily, it was bright enough that I could make out my surroundings. I was on a small hill in a grassy plain, with no buildings or even trees in sight. It smelled like something was burning nearby, but I didn’t see the glow of any fires. A short distance to my right, Jacob was sprawled out on the grass, snoring. I breathed a sigh of relief seeing him there. When we’d been ripped apart back at the gym, I was sure we were going to die.

  Our bags rested on the grass between us, but nothing else from the gym seemed to be here. As far as I could tell, we were completely alone. But I had the weirdest feeling I’d heard someone talking to me a minute ago.

  I took a step toward Jacob but stopped when I saw something had been burned into the grass beneath us. After a few seconds, I recognized the scorched patterns. It was the circle that had appeared beneath us in the dojo. My head started to shake back and forth as my mind wrestled with the implications of what was happening.

  “Jesus, this is really happening.” I knelt and tried to gently shake Jacob awake.

  “Jacob…Jakeyyy…Silver Ba–" The word caught in my mouth the second my eyes locked onto what was above us. "Holy shit." I slapped Jacob and yelled, "Wake up, jackass!”

  "Ow! What the fuck?" Jacob sat up, looking at me angrily. “Ash, why the hell did you just-” his eyes went wide, and he leaped to his feet, frantically patting himself all over and grabbing his crotch. The tension seemed to leave him momentarily as he said, “Oh, thank God, it’s still there…" Then he shot forward and wrapped me in a fierce hug. One that I happily returned. After a few seconds, we separated, and he asked, "Where the hell are we? Are we dead?!”

  I shook my head. “Yeah, I’m gonna have to say that we’re very much alive at the moment.”

  A sudden look of realization crossed his face, and he pointed at me. “Back at the dojo, inside whatever that fucking thing was, did I hear you say you recognized it?”

  “Yeah, it kind of looked like a summoning circle. They’re usually used to transport people from one world to another.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Uh-huh… and where exactly did you acquire this knowledge of the mystic arts?”

  I paused, averting my gaze before the word "Anime" quietly left my mouth. There was no way I could look him in the eyes while trying to say that something from cartoons just happened to us in real life.

  Jacob stared at me with a blank face for several seconds before he started shaking his head. “God, I hate you. For a second, I thought you might have been serious.”

  I pointed up at the sky behind him. He raised an eyebrow. "You're gonna do that Bruce Lee shit now?"

  He slowly followed the direction of my finger while doing a criminally bad impersonation of the legendary martial artist. "Follow my finger and look at the pretty mo-oh my god!" His body went rigid when he saw the two moons staring back at us. One a golden yellow and the other a softly glowing green. Neither looked like the moon we grew up with. After being frozen like a statue for nearly a minute, Jacob let out an excessively long exhale and finally looked back at me, still wearing the same blank expression he'd had a minute ago.

  “That doesn’t prove shit,” he crossed his arms defiantly. “I’m not buying that we were magically transported to another world. Odds are, some dipshit at the dispensary slipped a little peyote into my lunch as a prank or something, and I just need to put on some Pink Floyd and ride this out. You, good sir, have the honor of being my trip-sitter while I’m on this spiritual journey. Make sure I don’t do anything stupid. Oh, and you also need to hit up T-Bell and get me a burrit- Ow!”

  He recoiled when I punched him in the shoulder. “Did that feel like you’re hallucinating? Do you feel like you’re on drugs right now? I need you to have a serious conversation with me here.”

  “First of all,” he said, pointing at me, “hit me again and I’m gonna knock your ass out. Second, I’m trying really hard not to freak the fuck out right now. Okay?” He looked around, trying to get his bearings. Even in this low light, I could see his hands shaking as he rubbed them together. He was probably struggling to not have one of his episodes right now.

  “Sorry...are you good?” I asked, without letting on that I'd noticed.

  Jacob shrugged. “Let’s take stock of the situation, shall we? Figure out how screwed we are.”

  I nodded, relieved that he was finally taking this seriously.

  “We don’t know anything about this place. I mean, we don’t know if there are people or monsters or what kind of wildlife is going to try and kill us out here. For all we know, we’re being stalked by velociraptors armed with machetes. We have no idea where any towns are or if they exist in this place. We don’t have food or water. I seriously doubt I have a cell signal out here. And there's no way home that we’re aware of. Plus, none of the weapons from the dojo showed up with us. Are we on the same page so far?”

  “Yeah, unfortunately, that’s accurate,” I said, contemplating just how bad this situation was. “I'm thinking the best play is gonna be waiting until daylight before we start looking for signs of civilization. Until then, let's sit back-to-back so nothing sneaks up on us. Groovy?”

  He nodded and finally uncrossed his arms, grumbling about how this situation was bullshit. A sentiment I fully agreed with. We brought our bags closer and checked what supplies we had as we sat on the damp grass. Better to know what we had available in case we needed it.

  Inside my backpack, I only had my gym and after-training clothes, a journal and pen—Susan was adamant I write at least one entry per week—a Bluetooth speaker, and some headphones. It was all relatively useless given the situation, but it’s not like I had a heads-up about this trip. Otherwise, I would have packed accordingly.

  "Here," Jacob shoved his gym bag into my hands, "stick it all into your backpack. No reason for us to have two bags. Actually, let's just put all of our shit in there."

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  We emptied our pockets and put our keys, phones, and wallets into my backpack so our legs would be less restricted if we had to run or fight. Our keys were tightly wrapped in my gym clothes so they wouldn’t jingle while we walked. No sense in letting predators hear where we were. I also made a mental note that Jacob had a mini–Swiss Army knife key chain. The blade wasn't long enough that I'd consider it a weapon, but those things were always handy in a pinch.

  Another light breeze blew over us, and I felt grateful that it was unusually cold this fall in California. When we'd been abducted, each of us had been wearing our Warriors' Path zip-up hoodies. We'd probably be pretty miserable right now if we hadn't been.

  I handed Jacob back his empty gym bag and stared incredulously as he wadded it up and threw it as far as he could–which ended up not being very far.

  "So we're littering now?"

  "Why the hell would I want to carry around an empty, stinky gear bag? Besides, and this is the point I'd like to more heavily emphasize, fuck this place."

  “Okay, that's valid." I agreed, before asking, "You think we’re gonna be okay?”

  “No clue,” he sighed, leaning his head back into mine. “At least we’re in this shit together, right?”

  “Yeah… Owens Brothers.”

  I stuck my left fist over my shoulder, and he bumped his fist into it. “Owens Brothers.”

  A few minutes later, a thought occurred to me. "What if Mom's stories were real?" I asked, my hand reaching up to touch my right shoulder. The same image that was embedded in my skin had been in the circle.

  "Not. A fucking. Chance. Those were fairytales she and Granny used to tell us to try and get our rambunctious asses to sit down and shut up for five minutes. There's gotta be a reasonable explanation for why it was there, though. We just have to figure it out."

  That brainstorming session lasted all of ten minutes before we called it. We were still too thoroughly in the dark about all of this. So for the next few hours, we alternated between silence, talking about all the random bullshit going on in our lives back home, and stretching occasionally to stay awake.

  Eventually, Jacob said, “You know, Cassie was going to come out with all of us tonight, right?”

  “Nah, I didn’t know. She probably would have had a good time…”

  “Yeah, because she would have been on your nuts like a squirrel. That girl is crazy about you. I mean, shit, she even asked me to help set you guys up tonight. You keep acting oblivious, but I know that you know what she’s been after.” Jacob shook his head and turned slightly toward me. “One of these days, you gotta forgive yourself, man. It's okay to move on and meet someone new. You deserve to be happy.”

  I didn’t respond. Relationship advice wasn't something I wanted from anyone, especially not Jacob, who at thirty-one had never even been in a relationship. He had no difficulty finding and hooking up with beautiful women, and he did so regularly. But he said he still hadn’t met the one that set his heart on fire–his “Lola.”

  About ten years ago, Jacob told me that he was holding out until he found a very particular woman. She'd be beautiful and strong. Her mere presence would leave him frozen in place and completely speechless. A total badass that would run smiling toward a bar fight rather than away from it. Someone who made him feel the way he did when he listened to the song “Lola Montez” by Volbeat. In other words, this clown-shoe was going to be single for the rest of his life.

  “So, where were you planning to drag us tonight? Joey’s?”

  He started laughing. “Oh heeeeeell no! You think we’re going to be allowed back there anytime soon? Three weeks ago, we beat the hell out of half of the people there! We’re lucky the owner is a friend and erased the security footage.”

  Now I was making eye contact. “First of all, I’m not apologizing for shit," I said firmly. "Those racist assholes were hassling Lewis for no reason other than he’s Black. After one of them dropped an N-bomb and threw their drink in his face, I felt justified in making him eat the bar top. Literally. I mean, a fucking tooth was stuck in the wood after his head bounced away.”

  Jacob raised a finger, starting to form an argument, but after a few silent seconds, he put his hand back down. “Yeah, I know you were in the right on that one. I think I’m just salty because that blonde chick had just invited me back to her place for a, and I quote, 'drive down Highway Sixty-Nine.' Instead, she ran screaming when a skinhead was thrown through the window behind her.” A second later, he started laughing hysterically. Eventually, he managed to wheeze, “I still remember how bad I felt for that one moron when I saw him come at you with a switchblade. Dude, pulled that shit on the wrooong person." Jacob's laughter resumed.

  I laughed too. That guy was napping on the ground about five seconds after he got on my radar.

  "It’s like I always say, Ashy, nothing beats a good brawl and some cold beers.” Jacob let out a contented sigh.

  I nodded and watched as dawn began to crest the horizon. Jacob’s back peeled away from mine as he stood up to stretch. A few seconds later, I accepted the hand that he extended to me and stood to admire this new world with him. We stayed there for some time, transfixed by the lush green fields that burst with flowers for as far as we could see. A kaleidoscope of colors welcomed us to this strange place.

  “This might be the most beautiful sunrise I've ever seen,” I said.

  “I’d rather see a sunrise back home. Which is what we need to figure out how to get back to.”

  I grabbed my backpack and slipped my arms through the straps.

  “Alright, Ash Tray, assuming your hentai obsession—”

  “Anime.”

  “Whatever, if your anime crap is accurate, then someone summoned us here?”

  “Yeah, but if that’s true, then we probably should have arrived where they did it from. It doesn’t make any sense that they’d just dump us in the middle of nowhere.”

  Jacob started to look constipated, which is what always happened whenever he was extremely deep in thought or trying to see his "paths".

  “Alright, I have a hypothesis," he said, turning to face me.

  "Pretty sure you mean a theory," I smirked.

  Jacob's demeanor changed in an instant. "Do not fucking get me started on that! You know I can't stand when people mix those up."

  Despite our horrible situation, I couldn't help but laugh. If I were falling from an airplane with a failed parachute, and someone offered me a working one in trade for never teasing my brother again, I'd choose to splat on the ground. Jacob stood there patiently with his arms crossed until I regained my composure.

  "You done?" He asked.

  "Yeah, sorry...so what's your theory?"

  Jacob glared at me for a few seconds before he said, "Remember when that hellish circle turned from blue to red and looked like it was breaking apart? I think something went wrong for whoever was trying to summon us.”

  I gave it some thought and nodded. “Definitely possible. I’m still trying to figure out why it picked us and no one else. I mean, it launched Dad…” My mind still lingered on the possibility that Mom's stories might not have been as made up as Jacob thought.

  “Alright, game plan,” Jacob clapped his hands together, “we find whoever abducted us, beat the shit out of them, and make them send us back. Cool?”

  I gave him a thumbs-up. Even though I didn’t have much of a life anymore, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about being taken from it. Plus, our dad probably thinks we’re dead, so yeah, I was on board with this plan.

  Once the sun rose a bit further, and the mist dissipated, we had a much better view of our surroundings. The air quality here must be a lot better than out near Los Angeles, because we could see for miles. It was just open grassland with a few random trees, except for a forest far off to our right.

  God, that’s got to be at least twenty miles.

  “I’m thinking we should head towards that forest,” Jacob said as if reading my mind. “Everywhere else is just a bunch of flat nothing, with no obvious sources of food or water. And while the forest might have that stuff, it also might have a bunch of shit that wants to eat us. So there's that.”

  None of our options were appealing, but I didn’t have any better ideas. "So, just wander through the forest until we hopefully find a way home?"

  "Ash, not all who wander are lost," he grinned.

  "Yeah, but we're lost as fuck," I countered as we began the long march toward the tree line.

  #

  We’d been walking for the better part of a day and still had probably two miles to go before we reached the edge of the forest. Part of why it took us so long to get this far was that we weren’t exactly racing to get to the forest. Our circumstances sucked, but it was kind of exciting knowing that we were on an entirely different planet. We stayed alert for any dangers, but we were also trying to take it all in—the smells, the sights, and everything that came with this new experience. More than a few times, I stopped to get my phone out to take pictures and videos that I could show Dad when we finally got back to Earth.

  At one point, I saw a small brown squirrel foraging for food. “Hey, check it out. They have tree rats here too.”

  Jacob stopped to look, and the squirrel lifted its head out of the ankle-high grass, staring back at us. It had a cluster of small, beady black eyes on its head like a spider. They all blinked. We both said an emphatic, “Fuck that,” and kept walking.

  About five minutes later, Jacob stopped and started looking around. “Hey… do you hear something?”

  "Yeah, it's called my stomach. I'm about to eat this goddamn backpack."

  "No, I'm serious. Listen."

  I strained to hear what he was talking about, but didn’t notice anything unusual. Then, a few seconds later, I heard it. It was far off in the distance, barely audible, but familiar. And slowly getting closer.

  It sounded like an engine.