It was only a matter of time.

  Nicolas wasn't sure how long it'd been since their little adventure through Seattle, but they’d gone to sleep about three times since then.

  Nicolas, Ryan, and Ash had played nearly every sleepover game they could think of to pass the time; two truths and a lie, truth or dare, one hundred questions—and they had learned quite a lot about each other. But most of the things Nicolas said, Ash already knew, and vice versa. Instead, he was mostly curious about what Ryan had to say; the details about his life that he never had a chance to tell.

  “Where do you consider ‘home’ to be?” Nicolas asked Ryan. They had lost count of how many questions had been asked, but Nicolas wasn’t sure if anyone actually asked one hundred questions, anyway.

  “Hm, I don’t know,” Ryan replied. “Anywhere I’m not being killed by supernatural creatures is pretty nice,” he laughed slightly as he spoke, but for some reason, the smile wasn’t contagious.

  There was something about the way Ryan acted around Ash that was different from the way he'd acted that night when it was just them. Unlike Kevin, who used a fake accent, Ryan seemed to be using a whole fake personality. Like the version of Ryan that he'd spent that night sneaking through the darkness with, was a slightly more real Ryan: Like an alternate reality Ryan.

  “What’s your thoughts on religion?” he asked Ash, turning the discussion to them. Their answer was another one Nicolas already knew.

  “Well, I was raised Jewish, but I think as long as your religion doesn’t tell you to kill people, hate people, or anything psycho, then I don’t really care.”

  “That’s fair.”

  Nicolas glanced in the direction of the door. He’d practically memorized the whole hotel room by now, so even though he couldn’t see the door in the dark, candle-lit hotel room, he knew exactly where it was.

  And no matter how much he tried to reason with himself, he kept thinking about what was on the other side: How beyond that door, was the whole world, and they were stuck hiding like mice in a hole.

  We have to sneak out again.

  Considering how Ash seemed completely oblivious to Nicolas and Ryan's adventure, he guessed they likely didn't even know it happened.

  He moved his eyes back to the old couch, where Ash had been lying for the past few minutes.

  Would they be mad if they learned we snuck out without them? he wondered to himself. Everyone has their secrets, right?

  He turned his eyes to Ryan, who was sitting criss-cross applesauce on the bed beside him, the golden candlelight dancing along his face and making his eyes sparkle like pearls in a sea of shadows.

  I'm going to ask him, Nicolas decided; and despite the danger of it—despite all the monsters that lurked outside, he wanted to be alone with Ryan again—he wanted to be with that slightly more genuine version of Ryan.

  Kevin spent most of the time hiding, so they didn’t have to worry about him most of the time, and Nicolas was pretty confident about being able to sneak in and out without Kevin noticing them again.

  “There’s no way he doesn’t have a bed in there somewhere,” Ash said, their eyes flickering toward the closed door of not-so-wonderland.

  “I’m sure he does,” Ryan agreed. “He has to sleep somewhere.”

  Nicolas didn’t remember seeing anything resembling a bed, but maybe that was thanks to the low light.

  “Speaking of sleep,” Ash yawned, stretching their arms. “I could use some.”

  “What time is it?” Ryan asked.

  Nicolas had set his phone to ‘battery saving mode’ until he could find somewhere to charge it, so they’d only been checking a few times here and there.

  He fumbled through the darkness in search of it, before finally wrapping his fingers around the cold, flat object and pressing the power button.

  “Three-o-nine,” Nicolas read the numbers on the screen. “Three-o-nine a.m., to be exact.”

  “And here I was thinking it was nine-o-three or something,” Ash said quietly, almost mumbling. Nicolas understood what they meant though. It had felt earlier than that.

  This place is driving us insane.

  It was yet another reason for Nicolas to sneak out, but this time, he didn’t want to be alone.

  Ash’s breathing began to slow as they wrapped the small blanket they’d found around themself. “How long do you guys think we’ll be here?”

  “Hopefully not much longer,” Ryan replied. “I feel like I’m slowly, but surely losing my mind.”

  “Yeah,” Nicolas agreed.

  “Are you going to sleep?”

  “I’ll probably stay up a little bit.”

  “Same, I’m not even a single bit tired.”

  Perfect. He and Ryan would both be awake, and Ash would be asleep. The perfect time for them to sneak out unnoticed: That is, if Ryan even wanted to.

  Nicolas watched the flame dance on the candle wick, sending flickers of light swirling through the darkness. He and Ash had managed to convince Kevin to let them light it for a little while, but the tiny, warm light wasn’t very bright. “We should probably blow that out now.”

  “Yeah,” Ryan agreed, leaning forward to blow lightly on the golden light. The flame seemed to jump around as if attempting to dodge Ryan's breath, but finally, the dancing stopped, and the flame shrank into the darkness, becoming only a red ember, then nothing at all.

  That suffocating darkness swallowed the room once more, making Nicolas already wish the flame was back. He wasn’t scared of the dark, but one can only be in total darkness for so long. It was like being trapped in a cave.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  What if Ryan doesn’t want to come with me? He had planned to wait and ask when he was positive that Ash was asleep, however, he couldn’t wait any longer, now that the fear that maybe Ryan wouldn’t want to follow him had crept through. He leaned towards Ryan's ear, and whispered, “Do you want to go outside again?”

  Even in the darkness, Nicolas knew Ryan’s head had turned, and judging by the tone of Ryan’s reply, he imagined that Ryan was grinning. “Are you asking me out?”

  “What?!” The embarrassment hit Nicolas so hard that he didn’t even notice that Ryan was joking.

  “You asked me out,” he repeated with a quiet laugh. “As in, you asked me outside.”

  Nicolas wasn’t sure how to reply, and he must’ve taken too long: Because before Nicolas could even think of a response, Ryan added, “Sorry—that was a dumb joke—of course I want to.”

  ***

  The freshness of the outside air hit him like a wave as they stepped outside. Nicolas let out a breath of relief as Ryan grabbed the knob, carefully closing the door, not even making a slight noise.

  “How are you so quiet?” Nicolas whispered as quietly as he could as he followed Ryan out onto the balcony.

  “Practice,” Ryan replied with a smile, exposing his imperfect, but beautiful teeth. Nicolas rarely ever noticed people's teeth, but he noticed Ryan’s now. They were small, with tiny, barely noticeable gaps between each one, sort of looking as if they were chipped in some places. But somehow, his smile was the cutest Nicolas had ever seen.

  Nicolas could see him clearly now, the moonlight dancing off his black and red hair, making his eyes look like diamonds.

  “So, which direction do you want to go?” Ryan asked as they moved down the stairs, before stepping back into the moonlight again as they left the old hotel.

  Nicolas hadn’t thought of that. He’d spent the last few days longing to go outside, but now that he and Ryan were back out here, he didn’t know where to even go, or what would even be open at three in the morning.

  “I went that way last time,” he replied, pointing toward the left. He’d followed the sidewalk last time, so maybe this time, he could follow it the other way. He told this to Ryan, who agreed.

  “Sounds like a plan then. Do you know where it leads?”

  “Nope, but I would assume it leads somewhere.”

  They turned to the right, their feet tapping along the sidewalk, neither speaking until they were a decent distance from the hotel. Nicolas let out a breath of relief at being able to talk without whispering again.

  “I’m glad to finally get out of that place,” Ryan said as he stretched his arms out and yawned.

  “Yeah, I’m just happy I’m here with you.” The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them, and immediately he regretted saying them.

  “Why me?” Ryan asked after a moment of awkward silence. “I mean, you’ve been Ash’s friend for much longer.”

  Nicolas searched for the words, but his mind couldn’t conjure them. “You’re just… really cool I guess, and you make me happy.” His face felt like it was burning now, and his heart had stopped beating.

  “Well, I think you’re cool too,” Ryan replied politely.

  Is he being intentionally clueless?

  Nicolas wanted to say more, but found himself unable to think of the right words. The feeling he felt when he was with Ryan; that feeling of being alive, and free, that made him want to spend every single night like this.

  They walked side by side, their hands floating beside each other. The sidewalk eventually came to a large body of water.

  “Come on,” Ryan told him, grabbing Nicolas’ hand and pulling him away from the sidewalk, onto the rocky shores of Elliot Bay. The moonlight shimmered off the wet rocks as the water’s surface carefully moved back and forth in waves, but not the large, ocean kind.

  Nicolas placed his feet carefully, trying to avoid tripping and falling, since some of the rocks seemed to wobble under the pressure of his feet. He reached for Ryan’s arm as he balanced, until finally, they made it to the edge of the water.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Ryan said, looking up toward the sky.

  “Yeah,” Nicolas agreed. He wasn’t sure if Ryan was talking about the moon, the faint starry sky, or the lights reflecting off the water from the distant island; or what Nicolas thought kind of looked like an island, filling the water's surface with a dazzling flicker like a chandelier.

  “Ask me something,” Ryan said suddenly.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Just ask me something. Anything. It could be the most random question you could think of.”

  Nicolas wasn’t sure what to ask. He, Ryan, and Ash had played games like this over the past few days, and during those dark, boring moments, Nicolas had a million questions he wanted to ask Ryan in private. However, now that he had that opportunity, his brain was locking up and he couldn’t even think of anything.

  The city seemed to reflect off the bay like a mirror, and the moon reflected off pieces of glass submerged under the water's surface like coins in a wishing well.

  “If you could have one wish…” Nicolas asked, finally thinking of a question that wasn’t too generic, “…what would it be?”

  And without hesitating, Ryan answered, “To feel normal.”

  ***

  “Wanna turn back now?” Ryan asked as they neared the large ship dock ahead.

  Nicolas knew what he wanted to do. He wanted this moment to never end: He wanted to stay here with Ryan forever, beside the water which dazzled with the reflection of stars.

  However, they’d already been walking for almost an hour, so it’d be near daylight when they got back to the hotel.

  Now that they were further from the city lights, the stars were much more visible, filling the sky with millions of tiny freckles.

  The universe is so huge, he thought, finding himself unable to look away. He knew the universe was big, but it felt like now, he finally saw how big it was. Maybe coming to Seattle is starting to change how I see things.

  “Can we stay a little longer?” he pleaded, slowing to a stop as the rocks below turned to gravel.

  “Sure, if you want,” Ryan replied. “But we do need to get back soon.”

  There was a patch of grass in between the rocks and the trail surrounding the bay, so Nicolas and Ryan both laid down on the hill, which kept them hidden from the world.

  The grass felt soft and cool against Nicolas’ skin, almost like moss.

  “I love the stars,” Ryan whispered for no reason in particular. “It’s hard to believe how big the universe is.”

  “Yeah,” Nicolas agreed.

  “I wish we could explore all of it.”

  “I’ve hardly even explored my own planet,” Nicolas laughed, before adding, “but I wish we could explore everything together.”

  What am I saying?

  Nicolas wasn't usually that talkative; especially not like this. He would only ever actually talk to Sam, or Ash; but even then, it wasn’t common that he’d talk about emotions too deeply without trying to laugh it off or downplay his feelings. He tried of course, but years of being made fun of for crying didn't make it any easier. It was like society decided that emotions are for girls, and boys who cry are inferior for showing emotions.

  But somehow, it was easy to talk to Ryan, even though they’d only known each other about a week. It felt like he could tell him anything; like they’d known each other for years.

  “That sounds fun.”

  A light flickered across the sky, so fast that Nicolas would’ve missed it if he wasn’t paying attention. It was probably the first time he’d seen a falling-star in a long time.

  “Did you see that?” he asked Ryan, pointing upward.

  “Yeah,” Ryan replied. “That was bright, wasn’t it?” They were both silent for a few moments; then, Ryan added, “You asked me what I’d wish for if I was given one wish. Now, it’s your turn.”

  Nicolas thought for a moment, knowing a million different things he wished for. He wished he could have Sam back, he wished his mother would’ve never died, he wished his father never took his anger out on him; but there was something else Nicolas wished: Something that seemed to top everything else.

  “I wish I wasn’t so alone,” he said at last. A gentle breeze pushed through the blades of grass, blowing Nicolas’ hair into his eyes.

  The breeze slowed, and when Ryan finally replied, Nicolas couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Ryan was right.

  “I think that wish will come true.”

  Thank you so much for reading!

  ~Ellie Wallace