When you’re constantly pushing forward, you don’t have time to savor and revisit your past glories.

  I hadn’t realized it while I was living through it as Joan, but it made sense for the voice driving me inexhaustibly toward battle to be myself as Steve playing my speedruns. I was in a race against time afterall: I needed to take the entire map as fast as possible, before the turns ticking past 60 would trigger Joan’s capture event.

  Joan was just a unit in a game. There was no need for her to rest, no need to recuperate from the mental scar of all those she had slain at her own hands, no need for her to go back and check on men who she feared lost or wounded.

  Perhaps when Steve played, there was actually a real Joan down in the game, despairing over the unceasing pushing toward the front. The constant bloodshed, that just wouldn’t stop. Pleading for the voice to relent as each loop went by. In some ways, that was worse than the flames…

  The flames were flashes of agony compared to the slow perpetual grind.

  If there really was another Joan down there…

  Then, I do deserve becoming her after she’s ground into dust.

  This time, I am back, and I will see my men...

  “Lass! It’s great to see you!” Gorian roared, walking toward me with arms spread. He hesitated a few steps away, his eyes widening at the sheer weight of my entourage.

  I could see he was going for a hug, but that wouldn’t be proper, especially with the prince present. So I did the next best thing. I bade Tomas to release me, and stepped up to Gorian, clasping his oversized arm. “It’s good to see you as well, Gorian. Have you recovered?” I asked with a smile.

  “Aye, I’m good as new, mostly!” He smacked his chest for emphasis.

  When I last saw him, his chest plate was torn apart, shredded metal flanging outwards, flesh and ribs exposed. Now, there was only the unblemished cloth of his shirt, and solid chest underneath.

  “Thanks for the potion. I was told I wouldn’t have made it otherwise.” Gorian pulled me closer by my arm, his eyes brimming with emotion.

  “Yeah, good thing the Sister’s sanctuary was her church!” Justin appeared beside Gorian, grasping his shoulder. “The moment the Phoenix Plum brought us back, we were mobbed by healers. They even patched up my arm, better than new, even.” He windmilled his free arm in a wide arc.

  “How are you, Joan?” Serina appeared on the other side of Gorian, and we clasped arms as well. She tilted her head, looking over my cheek. “That wound, we’ve heard about it… It looks fresh, even after all this time.” Her fingers stopped, inches away from my cheek. “Does it hurt?”

  “Just stings sometimes. I barely notice it anymore.”

  “Of course you’d say that. You were never one to be squeamish about pain,” Kamuel said, stepping around Justin. It was a half-hearted jest, and he stumbled over his words at the end.

  His hands found the hem of his cleric’s robe, gripping the fabric tightly as his brown eyes dropped, unable to fully meet mine. The air hung heavy between us for a moment, then he cleared his throat, his posture stiffening. “But I’m glad you seem fine otherwise, My Lady. We were all extremely worried. The good Sister was beside herself.”

  “That’s an understatement.” Justin obliviously swiped a hand over his forehead. “She was practically throttling one of the priests, demanding that you be summoned back to us.”

  “I saw her recently at the capital,” I replied, my tone softening slightly. “She has since calmed down, but is still a bit overzealous and overdramatic, as all of you know.”

  The resulting laughter broke the dam, and the wall of adventurers standing behind them streamed over.

  “Is the dungeon still dangerous? Why is everyone here?”

  “To see you, of course!” The towering figure of Jakon shouted over everyone’s head. “Dungeon’s great now. Good challenge, good loot, and no more cursed out-of-place monsters attacking out of nowhere!”

  “And it’s all thanks to you, Liege! So of course we have to see you.” A young man with disheveled hair spoke up, and a chorus of “Aye!” rose around him.

  “Thank you, Nathan. I hope this means you made out on your bet.”

  Nathan ran his hand through his hair, looking bashful. “‘Course, Lady Joan… but I put all my winnings into the pool, like everyone else.”

  “The pool?”

  A tug on my sleeve brought my attention down to Tomas, looking up at me with large eyes. “Is this Joan another special name of yours?”

  “It’s just what I put down for my adventurer name…” I noticed that all eyes were on Tomas, a few glanced over to the undercover royal guards off to the side, and others to the maids standing stiffly proud behind me, including Ayaka. Ben cleared his throat, drawing some attention himself, along with Winthrop, waving at a few figures in the crowd.

  It wasn’t supposed to be like this!

  Beatrice had caught me the instant I was trying to sneak off after breakfast. The maids made me sit on my bed until they cleaned and redressed my wounds, and put on a new travel dress. Then they all insisted on accompanying me to the guild.

  Of course, a group of that size waltzing through the inn was bound to draw attention. First, Tomas spotted us and demanded to come along, which brought the guards as a tail. Then, Ben stepped in behind us. I could tell from the look on his face that I wouldn’t be able to dissuade him.

  Winthrop hopped into our little train on our way over, saying he had business at the guild as well.

  A little too convenient.

  Everyone was looking expectantly at me.

  “As many of you surely have already surmised, I am Josephine de Bloomcrest, the daughter of the lord of this land.”

  A wave of murmurs rippled through the crowd. Surprisingly, a few faces looked genuinely shocked, including Jakon, whose jaw practically hit the floor.

  “You are the daughter of the Duke?!”

  Thais palmed her forehead beneath her pointed hair. “She has blue hair, like the Duke. Like, you know, the Blue Flower? Have you missed all that we were talking about?”

  “My apologies for the ruse, but we didn’t wish to make a scene. And…” I glanced over at Winthrop. “I don’t believe we had my father’s approval at the time.”

  He winced and quickly avoided my gaze. I had long suspected that he never told my father about the little adventure he sent me on. This confirmed it.

  Did he feel that indebted to his former party?

  Was that the reason he didn’t come with us to the capital?

  An older man with a long beard and a shock of white hair pushed through the crowd. He was dressed in a robe with buttons and the stripes of an official uniform. “No need to apologize, Lady Josephine. The fault is entirely mine. I had leaned heavily on your uncle, and made some erroneous assumptions that were rather egregious. It was never any of our intentions that you face the final boss alone.” He spoke in a formal cadence.

  “Damn right, sending a little girl to do our dirty work!”

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  “Shameful!”

  “And she paid the price!”

  “Her face is ruined for us.”

  The murmurs tore restlessly at the line.

  I raised a hand to settle them. “The circumstances were all unforeseeable, and the decision was mine. But you are… Guildmaster Corwin?”

  “That I am. Please pardon my previous absence, My Lady. There were critical Guild matters that I needed to attend to.” He bowed low to me. “But your many heroic and fantastic deeds have been well conveyed, and the guild will be forever grateful to you for saving our dungeon—it was perilously close to receiving a break order.”

  Several gasps rose, along with grimaces and shakes of the head at the reveal.

  “This is a celebration in your honor, and your friends are, of course, all welcome.” His eyes fixed on Tomas, still dressed like a far-too-fancy farm boy, while the old guildmaster wrung his gnarled fingers together. “But would you perhaps introduce them to us, so that… we can greet them properly.”

  “Of course. This is my brother, Lord Benjamin de Bloomcrest, heir to this domain." I gestured to Ben, and the guildmaster and several adventurers gave him an obligatory bow. “These ladies are my attendants and close friends. And that, as you all know, is my uncle, Master Winthrop.”

  After sweeping over the others, my hand came to rest on Tomas’s shoulder. “And this is my dear friend, Tom. He is very curious about the guild.”

  “I want to hear stories about Josephine.” Underneath the air of youthful exuberance was an unmistakable edge of self-assured command that made all the adventurers shift nervously. The glare of the guards didn’t help matters.

  Corwin quickly walked up to the prince. “Certainly! There are plenty of tales of her heroics here, your… Lord Tom. Come, we have a nice spread of food lined up for this celebration, everything from Titan Boar meat to Drakebloom fruits.”

  “Uhm…” Thais cleared her throat, catching Corwin’s gaze.

  “Oh, yes, Lady Josephine. There’s something everyone here would like to present to you,” he said, gesturing Thais forward.

  Gorian smiled warmly at me and stepped aside to let Thais through. I noticed she wasn’t wearing the usual black robe that clung to her figure, and instead had on a respectable, more billowing dress.

  She presented me with a box wrapped in sheer cloth. Curiosity took hold of me, and I undid the top knot. The cloth fell away, and inside was a wooden box holding a glass vial. The vial was shaped in the figure of an angel with her swings spreading out, and within it was a clear, red liquid.

  “It’s beautiful… but is this…”

  “A Full Heal potion… to replace the one you gave me, lass.” Gorian wiped the corner of his eyes and puffed out his chest.

  “We didn’t realize what it was until Thais here took it to a sage,” Serina added.

  “It must have cost the Duke a fortune. Lass, I’m touched. But you should have used it on a battered old hauberk like me. I’m sure it was meant only for you.”

  I shook my head. “If it cost a fortune, then how did you get this?” Looking over the exquisite glasswork, I remembered what Nathan had said and glanced over at him. “The pool?”

  “Everyone chipped in. I mean all my winnings basically belong to you, Liege.”

  This thing in my hand was starting to gain weight.

  If they thought this cost my father a fortune, then it must be astronomical to them.

  “It’s too much. I appreciate the gesture, but the potion isn’t a need for me, whereas the funds for this could go to a better cause, like your families.” I glanced over to the woman who gave it to me. “Thais, don’t you have a boy that needs curing? The funds could help him.”

  “You remembered… but of course you would.”

  “I didn’t remember enough to go to him.”

  Alas, I have already spent my cure for the week, but there is always next week.

  “That’s because you went to cure Carol. She was in much more dire straits.”

  “How did you know? That was just last night.”

  Has word traveled that quickly? I should’ve told Lottie and her mother to keep it hushed.

  “Wyla is my mentor, and it’s a small town.” She reached hesitantly toward my shoulder. “I heard you were badly wounded by some wanton…”

  “I’m fine now.” I cut off before she could give away Ayaka, I don’t want this house coming down on her.

  Tomas tugged at my arm, the injured one, making me wince ever so slightly. “You are injured?!”

  “Just a little, like I said. I’m fine now.” My confirmation only made Tomas’s eyes bulge wider.

  “How? You promised you would’t get hurt.” Betrayal lined his squeaky voice.

  I felt a weight on my chest, a pang of regret. I could have ended it so easily with just a spell, and yet I chose, like I always did, to push things, to throw myself into danger. Fighting while under [System Rebuild] wasn’t to prove anything; it was just a reckless way to show off to myself.

  Hubris…

  It was my flaw, a crack in the facade. I touched the open slash on my cheek. Still tender and wet.

  Ben bolted to my side, cradling my other arm. “Was it the sickness? Did you have another fainting spell?”

  I shook my head. His concern was already eliciting worried glances from others.

  “Please, My Lady. Take our gift. It’s a small token of our appreciation. My boy can get better medicine now because I can go on dives.”

  “And it was a bitch getting that thing. I couldn’t believe how rare that drop is!” Justin just had to add his bit in.

  “Yes, we had to scour the auctions of quite a few other guild chapters for it,” Guildmaster Corwin chimed in, looking quite pleased with himself as he stroked his beard. “Had to call in a few favors.”

  “Alright, I will accept it then.” I relented to a rousing chorus of cheers.

  If nothing else, I could have the Masticators examine it to see if they can reproduce it.

  That would be for a greater good, no? I justified to myself.

  “Come on! Do that thing with your bracelet.” Justin cajoled me like a boy trying to show off a friend’s strangeness in the schoolyard, and everyone’s eyes converged on me. Even Winthrop and the royal guards.

  I shook my head. It sounded like Justin and the others had already told everyone about it, so there was nothing to hide.

  “It’s nothing that special.”

  I moved the angelic potion over my bracelet, and it blinked out of sight, drawing gasps all around me.

  “She does have the hero’s mark!”

  “‘Course she does. How else do you think she pulled all this off!”

  “That’s why the Queen wants her!”

  That last one caught my ear.

  The rumors have spread here as well. I need to talk to Sarsee before she tries something drastic.

  “Everyone, let’s enjoy the celebration before our food spoils!” Corwin said.

  As the crowd swarmed the tables at the center of the guild hall, he stepped over to Tomas. “You wish to hear some stories about Lady Josephine, yes? Well, one of our bards has already composed several ballads due to an overabundance of material to work with.”

  We all converged on the tables piled with steaming food. This wasn’t like the orderly, fancy party of the nobility, where everyone picked at their dainty portions of food, while the excess stood as decoration slowly wasting away. The adventurers were hungry regular people, tearing in juicy roasts, and chomping wetly down on plump fruits. Bits of food sprayed out of their mouths as they shouted boisterously over the table.

  “I’m sorry for the crassness, but I didn’t think we’d be graced with such an important presence,” Corwin whispered nervously to me.

  “It’s fine. He seems to be enjoying it.” Tomas was sandwiched between Jakon and a young man strumming a lute. The sight of them was a comical caricature of the mountain-sized barbarian and the hill-sized bard flanking a small five-year-old boy.

  They were keeping a respectful distance from Tomas, giving him enough space that the old guard captain didn’t have his hand on his hilt. Tomas had his mouth open, food spraying out as he burst out in laughter at the sight of Jakon and Justin pretending to trade sword blows across the table in some kind of reenactment. Then he shouted a few words, and everyone looked at him before erupting in another round of laughter.

  He looked rather smug, so carefree, innocent. The sight made me smile.

  “My Lady, I’ve heard you’re slated to cleanse the Kandlehar dungeon as well. An order from the crown,” Corwin spoke in a low whisper, his eyes sharp beneath the deep wrinkles of his brow.

  “You’re well informed for the guildmaster of a medium-sized dungeon. What of it?”

  “A dungeon under the domain of your family, and this chapter is in your debt, so of course I’d be informed of matters involving you. The guild has authorized me to offer you any support you might need. I know your party has already been formed, but the guild has access to a great trove of information and equipment.”

  Already been formed? All I know of was Anthony, and the Twin Stars. Oh, there is Long as well, which means I’m trapped down there with all of Sarsee’s picks.

  “Fine, information is good. I’d like to know more about the dungeon and its history. And your main library in the Capital. I’d like to peruse it as well. All of it.”

  “That can be arranged, but in return would it be possible to push up the timeline for cleansing that dungeon?”

  “Didn’t you say you’re in my debt? Why the hurry? My father had explained that I was just recently ill.”

  Corwin shot a nervous glance over at Winthrop, who was reminiscing with Gorian over a mug of ale. “A storm is brewing. It’s not just the corruption, but other forces are afoot. Adventurers are just the first to be caught in its front. I can sense it. Perhaps we can have a more private chat?”

  It looks like no matter which lifetime I’m at, I will be caught by the winds of conflict. Will I be forever pushed to the front? There’s no voice anymore, but perhaps there is a script, or is it all just me?

  I sighed, nodding. A hand grabbed my arm just as I was about to leave. Ben was staring at me with determined eyes.

  I was about to brush his hand away, but then I paused, remembering my broken promises—to Tomas, to him… to Papa. My hand settled over his instead. “My brother is coming too.”

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