The two Ironwoods held their swords up at Kip. He didn’t know which one to stare at. One of them picked up the ring and stared through it. They placed it in their pouch. They both dashed at him. One of them got to his front and slashed him. It tossed him back where the other was waiting and struck him. He dropped to his knees, breathing deeply as his hand went to his knapsack.

  He needed to move fast. He was running out of energy as well as materials. And what had he done? Scratched her a few times and made her multiply. He wondered, could there be any weakness to her boon that he could take advantage of? He grabbed at his pouch. What did he have left?

  Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. The only two things in his pack left were smoke bombs and the monocle he’d taken from Akun. These two items would be enough to execute his plan.

  He grabbed not one, not two, not four, but all three of the smokeballs in his pack. He lit them all. The two Ironwoods on either side closed in on him again. Smoke began to expel from the three bombs immediately, sinking below him. Instead of moving right or left, he cast his final burst.

  “Burst,” He launched up into the air.

  “Oh, no,” Said Ironwood 1, “We’re ready for that one.”

  Ironwood 2 got down on one knee, letting Ironwood 1 place her foot on the other’s leg and shoot herself up to Kip.

  He sprouted wings. He glided out of the way of Ironwood’s attack. He dropped one of the bombs. Ironwood swung her sword back up, and he puffed his left wing to dodge. He dropped the other smoke grenade. The bombs covered Ironwood 2 in smoke and filled the entire stage.

  He pulled his wings down and dived, just like he’d seen Mason do during his fight with the Beast Friends. He headed to Ironwood 2. She placed her hands up to protect herself, and he dropped the third smoke on her helmet. He outstretched his wings and flew parallel to the ground, letting the smoke fill up the rest of the stage.

  He got his Peeker’s Monocle out and looked through it. He could tell which clone was which through the monocle because Ironwood 2 took the smoke grenade off her head. The two moved like they were in synch. “What is the nature of the clone boon?” Kip wondered, “Is it a projection? Is she actually split into two? A conjuration, or could she feel pain?”

  He rolled forward, his tiny size allowing him to move through the smoke without immediately being detected. He leapt at Ironwood 1 and said…

  “Hey!”

  The king was staring at the big puff of smoke that covered the stage, scratching his head. “So much for the good show.” The king mumbled, “Another smoke and no clear victor? Two rounds in a row? Boring. Turn the fans on!”

  Danver looked at a guard to comply with the king’s orders. That guard left the room and let another guard know about the order. That guard ran across the way to the sets department and talked to the person in charge of the sets, and that person should have relayed to the fan specialist to turn on the fans. But there was a small bout between the head of sets and the guard, over whether the king really said that or it was just some prank the guard was pulling.

  “Why do you care so much about the crowd?” Asked Stormbristle.

  “You’re an advisor, right?” King said, “Let me tell you something about the time before this stadium. Every drought was felt. Every time there was a change in wind, an old king was killed and a new one crowned. The truth is, these people… they don’t care about divine intervention. They don’t care that I was chosen by gods. They’ll kill me if they get the chance. Just like my grandfather did to the king before him. My grandfather was the first one to say it. Keep’em fed and happy. Don’t give them no reason to revolt. This war’s been going on for a long time. We almost lost it because of just how unhappy the people were. So my grandfather built the games. And there you have it.”

  Jasssper nodded, “It really isss an excellent stadium, sire.”

  “Oh, come on,” Stormbristle said.

  “What? I’m just complimenting him on hisss stadium.”

  “He’s not going to let you advise him, bro,” Akun said.

  “I’m jussst saying! He’sss a handsssome king who probably hass good ideas of his own.”

  “I’m flattered. But I’m happy with my advisor,” Said the king.

  Danver smiled and stuck his tongue out at Jasssper, who, as a snake, was much better at sticking his tongue out at him.

  “Gods dammmit, where is that FAN?!” Said the king, taking the table of food and flipping it over. Lala stood up.

  Akun said, “Distraction time?” To Tamas. Tamas said, “Does anyone have an instrument of any kind?”

  Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

  Akun still held the hook to his head. But with his available arm, he grabbed the bowls of food that had been tossed and the spoons and handed them to Tamas. Tamas placed them on the floor and started beating them like a drum. He cast a spell that would draw people’s attention toward him. He forced every ounce of magic into this spell, but not being perfectly attuned with the instruments drained his mana. He gave the drums everything he had, both in spirit and magic. The enchantment worked to a degree; some of the other guards started to turn, but not the king. He stared straight at the bloody game. Tamas attempted to give the performance of his life to this damn thing but it was not working.

  Akun could not find Lala. He looked at the hook he’d been resting on his head. It was red with heat, “Good enough.” He tossed it at the king. The burning hot hook slapped the king directly on his cheek. He grabbed his face and bent over, hurting.

  “Who the hell-” the king started.

  “What the hell are you all paying attention to!” Screamed the king.

  The guards. Tamas stopped playing, ceasing the effect of the spell. The guards turned around, confused. The king was staring at them with malice in his eyes, he pointed right at the person in front of him, “The changeling just turned into me. That’s a punishable offense!” He said, “Get her out of here. She’s killing the vibe.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Asked the king, “I’m the king.”

  “Look at this friggin guy,” Said The king, “Lala, baby. You know I love you, but this is pathetic. Take her to the stockings. And can we get MORE CHICKEN WINGS!”

  The king stayed gripping his cheek, “Hold on! Hold ON!” The guards attempted to approach him.

  “Don’t let him say hold on,” Said the other king.

  “Don’t you mean her?!” Screamed the king, “See! She’s the fake!”

  Lala as the king pointed at the guard closest to the real king and said, “What’s your name?”

  “M-me?” The guard asked

  “M-m-m-meeee?” Lala mocked.

  “Glagice.” Said the man, shaking.

  “Glagice, if you don’t arrest that imposter, I’ll find and kill your family.”

  “That’s the fake!” Said King Sezami, “That’s the fake, you idiot! Look! It’s Lala, wipe that cheek off. She can’t change her scar.”

  “Ugh, it’s getting desperate,” Said King Sezami’s body double, “You think this mustard stain on my cheek is hiding something? Look.”

  Glagice looked at both the people there, shaking. He looked at Danver for confirmation. Danver shook his head, “Kings, will both of you please expose your cheeks? Starting with you?”

  “Unbelievable,” Said the Lala. Lala placed her hands on the mustard, wiping downward. Revealing... That his cheek was unscarred.”

  “Now you,” Lala said.

  King 1 kept his hand covering his cheek, “No, no, wait! Wait… how?” Lala grabbed King Sezami’s arm away from his cheek. It revealed a hot, still-cooling burn mark from Akun’s hook.

  “It just happened. That bone guy whipped me!” Said the king.

  “Can we take this impostor away?” Lala asked, “Once again, I love the schtick, but this is ridiculous.

  The guards grabbed the king’s clothes and pulled them. Some felt conflicted and not entirely convinced, and whispered sorry to the king.

  “Glagice!” Said the king, “You take me to that jail, I’ll kill your family!” Said the real king.

  Lala, disguised as the king, kept her voice calm. She said, “Glagice, if you don’t listen to me, I won’t just kill your family. I’ll hire a necromancer, bring them back, and kill them again. I’ll make you watch, too. Gag him.”

  That was enough proof for Glagice. He gagged the king’s protests. He walked the fake real king out of there, and the real fake king commanded everyone to follow. The only humans left were the two guards that always stayed with him, and Danver. “The insolence of these monsters. I mean, really.”

  “Follow them. They’re idiots. Make sure they get things done.”

  “B-but, your highness!” Said the advisor, “I shalln’t leave you alone with these… guests, shall I?”

  “I’ll be okay,” Said the king, “I appreciate your constant service. Your loyalty and your attentiveness to detail. Thank you for everything, Danver.”

  Danver stared at Lala, amazed, before choking out, “Y-you’ll be caught. We won’t let you escape. Guards!”

  Lala, as the king, turned to Akun, “I may have pushed it too far.”

  “That’s okay. I got him.” Akun clonked Danver over the head with his hook. The guards were quick to pull out their swords, but Jasssper wrapped around one of their necks, and Stormbristle shocked another. Lala looked at her hands. Big with unkempt fingernails, they began to shrink. Her time on Perfect Replica was coming to an end.

  “We should go!” Said Lala.

  The fans finally turned on. They cleared the air quickly. Kip was staring at the two Ironwoods. They each had their swords out. “So, you can come over here or we can go over there.”

  “Yeah,” Kip said, “I’ve got a third option.” His mouth coiled into a smile, “Stretchy arms.”

  His arms drooped, and he tossed his ringed hand toward one of the Ironwoods. Ironwood 1 slashed the arm. It flopped to the ground with little noise.

  “My arm!” yelled Kip.

  Ironwood 2 kicked it. It arched, flying across the stage, over the lava zone and into the tunnel entrance where Kip had come from.

  “I’ve still got my other hand!” Said Kip, “And I’ve just found out which Ironwood is the real one!” Kip threw his other stretchy hand at the Ironwood on the right. The claw landed right at her neck, he scratched it, and she poofed into air. They were down to one Ironwood.

  He yanked his arm, taking the rest of the stretched-out skin back with him and coiling his arm back.

  Ironwood stared at Kip and stuck up her sword, “Fine. I can still finish you.”

  She ran at an amazing speed again. She used the broad side of her sword and slapped Kip from below. He shot up into the air about ten feet, and she jumped up to follow him. She slapped him down. He rolled to the edge of the stage. She approached him and he spread open his wings, “I’ve still got one of these left.” Her arm fluttered, and she chopped the wing off. Kip screamed in torment.

  “Sorry, I’m just quite through with all the pageantry. You’re maybe the most fanciful fighter I’ve ever killed.”

  She lifted her sword and said, “Someone as dramatic as you deserves a dramatic death. Say, how about the lava?” His loose arm drooped to the ground as she picked him up. She tossed him into the lava. He dropped, the orange glow reflecting on his scales as he fell. As he dropped, she noticed that his hand was still gripping the edge of the stage.

  “How’s this for dramatic?!” Asked Kip.

  Kip reached the end of his stretchy arms’ slack. His grasp of the edge caused him to swing. With his remaining wing, he flapped. It curved him in an arc, Ironwood staring up at him as he did. He landed to the right of Ironwood, the remaining slack from his arm landing in front of her. He pulled his arm taut and clotheslined her so that she fell forward. She lost control of the sword and fell, hitting the lava dead on, and sinking in.