I stared at the blinking cursor

  It stared back at me

  I continued staring at it

  “The story isn't gonna write itself” I told myself with a sigh “alright you can do it” I thought, pumping myself up

  my hands stretched towards the keyboard getting ready to write and I -I I I-

  I woke up from my abrupt nap and once again the cursor stared at me, not disappearing despite my wishes for it to do so

  “Well maybe I'm too tired or something, I'll come back to you when I'm rested” I said, checking the time “1:26, fuck I should really go to sleep, it's getting pretty late” I thought to myself, whilst yawning

  Sighing I got up from my comfortable spot on my couch, heading for the kitchen “well I hope there's something to eat at least, cause I'm starving” I said out loud even though I knew very well the answer to my own question

  My heart dropped to my stomach as I frantically checked all the cupboards for anything that was not spoilt “well I've got..cereal, cereal uh some random cheese that's probably gone bad what else, sausages, a coke and some instant noodles ” I listed off, my voice as deadpan as I felt inside “ I think we all know the winner of this contest” I grumbled, grabbing the noodles without any fanfare

  After a boring instant noodle cooking montage the noodles were piping hot and ready to consume “2/10 montage, have to make it more dramatic, but I guess there's only so much you can do with just instant noodles” I said to myself jokingly,

  absentmindedly i put off the stove and hauled my ass up the counter before placing the still hot pot on the counter between my laps “you couldn't even spare the effort to just walk to the dining” the unwanted thought appearing in my head as I ate the noodle directly from the pot

  Deafened by the silence and lack of stimuli I brought out my phone, noting the time “1:32” quickly, i found the perfect YouTube video to watch as I ate instant noodles in the middle of the night “what a lovely life” I said to myself, sarcasm dripping down my every word

  After finishing with both the noodles and the video, I dumped the pot in a growing pile of dishes that I'd been postponing till “tomorrow”

  I dragged my feet to the bathroom to brush my teeth before I hit the sack checking the time again, 1:49

  “There's nothing instant about instant noodles” I grumbled to myself as I placed the paste on the brush

  Raising the brush to my face, I got a clear look at my reflection, dark circles around my eyes, my hair was a mess of tangles and I swear I could see some crumbs stuck in there

  I stared at the reflection in the mirror my thoughts spiraling until…until “snap out of it you fucking idiot” I noticed myself going to deep, I quickly brought the brush back up to my mouth but at some point during that trance I had apparently managed to brush my teeth “huh, weird” I muttered

  I grabbed my phone as I left the bathroom and headed straight to my room, quickly collapsing onto the bed “uhhhh fiiinallyy” I groaned, stretching all my arms out

  Sleepiness quickly took its hold over me but before it fully held me in its embrace I checked the time one last time “2:24”

  My brain registered that there was something wrong with that figure, but my tired mind was to concussed to understand why

  The alarm jolted me awake, its shrieking boring a hole through my brain, I acted quickly, immediately stretching out my hand to stop the menace of an alarm, but to my dismay it was just out of reach, quickly realizing that if I wanted to slay this foul siren,I would need to get off my bed “is this you ploy me from the past? I see, I see! It is only my brilliant mind that would come up with such a brilliant scheme just to force me to awaken!” I shouted dramatically with gritted teeth and all that pzzaz

  “Fine”I said as my excitement deflated “time to get your lazy ass of the bed” hesitantly getting up my bed and slamming the alarm, finally making it stop

  I checked the time, 6:23 “I stayed on the bed for 23 minutes with that shrieking?, how is that even possible?.. either ways it's time for me to get the fuck up” after a few minutes of stretching, remembering why I don't stretch and then began regretting my life, all occuring in that order, I folded my sheets and headed out of my room, immediately upon leaving my cave I was hit by the light “shit I forgot to turn off the lights yesterday” I winced, squinting my eyes and staying still until I finally adapted to the lights “haaa I'm not becoming some shut in otaku am I?” feeling saddened and slightly crushed by the realization that I had become a basement dweller, I headed off to wash myself, just from the glimpse in the mirror yesterday, I knew that I didn't look so.. presentable so to say

  After one cleansing bath later, I emerged from the bath a free man “muhahaha bow before you king, peasants, the one before you is the new.. majestic me!” I intoned, gesticulating madly and was met with silence…”oh my God I'm running mad”

  After that whole debacle, I was once again in my right mind and was finally able to check my phone, now what would thou expecteth from a lad with such a handsome visage

  One notification? Five? A thousand?.. there was nothing, no notifications, I sighed, putting the phone away, but at that moment a notification entered, it was an email, my brows furrowed a little bit as I read it “a meeting?, why'd they send this to me?, I'm on leave” I thought as I checked the time, 7:20

  The time for the meeting was eight “still have some time to kill” I continued, falling into the soft embrace of the couch, time to doom scroll

  Before long, the time for the meeting had arrived, I grudgingly peeled myself off my phone, booting up my laptop that I had tentatively ignored, immediately the display came on I was once again faced with the blinking cursor, quickly exiting the app I opened the link to the meeting, waiting as more people joined the call

  It wasn't long before the meeting started in earnest “okay good morning everyone” Michaels voice droned through the speaker, eliciting a bunch of dry responses “okay Micheal sorry for the interruption but why am I here?” I asked interrupting whatever he was planning to say

  “....... Fine we need to launch another project and you seemed pretty enthusiastic to share your idea back then, so I was thinking that since we were done producing our first project, it's kind of obvious that your idea would be next” he said, a tone of annoyance in his voice

  “You know I'm on leave for a reason right?.......fine but I'm gonna finish my leave then we can discuss work yeah?” I said knowing very well I wasn't hesitant to write because of my leave

  “deal” he confirmed, his voice a little tight, I had stepped on his toes a little bit this time around, but I'll make it back to him,

  After that I once again took a back seat in the meeting, not really listening to the drone of buzzwords coming from my computer “when did he become this good at this thing?” I thought, absentmindedly scrolling through my phone

  “Does anyone have anything more to add?” He finally asked

  I checked the time 9:32 “okay then, meeting adjourned" he said as everyone was booted from the call, I exited the call, leaving the laptop running, I shot a look at the laptop entertaining the thought of trying again

  “ Nah I'd just end up staring, I,I-I’I,I-

  I was staring at the cursor again

  I checked the time, 10:12

  I frowned “when did the meeting end?I definitely checked it, but when was it?” as I started to dig more and into this rabbit hole, my headache started to build,more and more until it became splitting, I dropped to my knees, my head spinning “ what….. the fuck..is going..on?” I tried to think, my mind growing more and more muddled

  A shriek tore through the haze, snapping me out of my stupor

  The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

  I groaned, reaching out to grab my phone which had fallen out of my grasp at some point “why did I decide to use that as my ringtone?” I grumbled to myself as I checked the caller

  “Oh fuck it's Cassandra” I muttered, reluctantly answering the call

  “YOOOOO HOW ARE YOUUU?!!” Her overly enthusiastic voice blasted through my phone speakers “ I'm fine thank you” I answered, my voice deadpan

  “GUESS WHAT?” “I'm guessing” I answered “I’M BAAACCKK!!” “I see…. shocker”

  “You see??! This is why I don't like calling you, I haven't talked to you in months and this is how you greet me?” She said, sounding genuinely hurt near the end

  I sighed “sorry, was just joking with you” I said, infusing a tone of apology into my voice

  “You aight?” She asked, worry already clouding her voice, I didn't like that “nah it's nothing, I'm just bored, so who else to agitate but you?” I answered, a smirk in my voice

  “Yeah fuck you too” her preppy voice already back, I broke out into a laugh at her response, already enjoying the conversation

  We went on for the next few minutes, just catching up with life and everything “oh yeah, I can't believe I need to ask this one but when last did you go out?, I'm not your mom I can't be checking up on you all the time” she asked suddenly

  “ Firstly I do not need the outside world at the moment and secondly…two weeks, I've been inside for two weeks” I answered, slightly defensive

  “Just go out, please?” She sighed

  “Fine I needed to go to the store either ways” I answered

  “Yayy! Okay times up BYEEEE!!” she shouted as she hung up, I stared at the phone for a a while before chuckling “she doesn't change does she?”

  I put the phone away, trying to remember what I was doing before I was derailed by the call, alas nothing came to mind I shrugged, checking the time once again 11:03

  “Woah, time does fly” I mouthed, surprised, feeling like I was missing something “either ways, time to go” I said as I surveyed everything I needed “my wallet, check, phone, check, keys, check, laptop off ... .hmm laptop off?”i thought, staring at the unassuming laptop which lay on the table, I shook the unwarranted suspicion off heading towards the door, surveying everything once again, once I was sure everything was set, I left the house, locking the door behind me

  I took in the city air, it felt like crap, I sighed and started walking, drinking the sights around me, covered by grime, smoke and everything in-between the beauty of the city never fails to amaze me, staring at the colossal structures and realizing that it was made by a bunch of undersized apes was a humbling thought and watching hundreds of people pass me by was amazing in its own way, the number of people living eating and breathing and the resources needed to cater for their needs, a mind boggling sum and yet we treated it as mundane

  My musings were cut off as I had gotten to my first destination for today, a small pastry shop with a long line of people moving to and fro, after a few minutes of waiting I was finally able to access the shop, immediately I headed to the counter to get my order, upon arrival at the counter, I was recognized by the attendant there “your usual?” She said,I nodded “okay then just wait outside the line for a bit, once I'm done I'll call you” I nodded once more in agreement, leaving the line and heading towards a corner where I could contemplate existence in peace, after a few minutes of looking into the distance my name was finally called, I collected the order paid, and was finally able to leave the shop

  Immediately after doing so I felt the change in the weather “oh yeah, it's gonna start snowing soon” I thought, breathing out cold vapour, I shrugged brought the pastry into my mouth and not down on it, a burst of flavor flooding my mouth “how do they even manage to do this?” I thought, staring at it in wonder

  I continued walking towards my final destination, enjoying the sights that I rarely got to enjoy, soon enough I had reached my target, the supermarket -target…..you get it? Like my target -target?

  Laughing a little at my own joke, I walked into the building after being stared at like some sort of mad man, unlike most people I wasn't one to really get distracted, so I immediately headed to the isle I need to get my groceries from and headed for the checkout, my tolerance for staying outside was already running low, after getting into line, the wait had begun, the line slowly decreased, one by one

  Around 3 minutes into waiting, I got a tap on my shoulder “uh hello?” I said, turning around to see the stranger “uh, sorry but..I noticed that you have quite a lot of groceries in your bag uhh you cook alot?” At that moment ..I felt it

  Dread

  “Uhh yeah I cook quite a bit” I answered them uncertainly

  And the beamed with happiness “oh wow ive been trying to stop eating out so often cause you know… health and all that….so you know any cookbooks ……how often do you….I've been looking for the recipe for this…did you know that” he just kept going on and on and finally it was my turn on the line “my dog jeremy- “sorry man it seems like I need to go” I said as I interrupted one of his tirades “oh,oh oh no that's fine bye!” He said sadness clouding his features

  After checking out and having a mini heart attack at the price of groceries I was finally free of the wretched place And all the nice people in it “ aw thank God I'm finally free!” I breathed out as I finally exited the building…with four large bags and no car in sight, now let us skip the past where I spout obscenities cause well.. I don't really know

  My breath left my mouth in desperate puffs as I had finally managed to get to my door, my skinny and nerdy exterior did not help in the process of hauling the goods, AT ALL “oh my goodness I'm an idiot” I panted as I shakily placed my key into the keyhole and unlocking the door

  Feeling extremely tired I immediately dumped all my groceries on the table and staggered towards the couch landing on it with a groan “Jesus fucking Christ, this feels so good” I remarked as I took a moment to check the time 1:52

  I sucked in a deep breath “omphh it's already two? I practically haven't done anything today” I complained, placing my phone back onto the table “I'll just rest here for a bit, I'll arrange these in a minute” I mumbled, whilst yawning

  I didn't do it

  .

  A pang of hunger unceremoniously threw me out of my peaceful state of sleep, dumping me into this cold harsh world “ugrrhh fuck, when the heck did I fall asleep?” I asked, feeling a little bit dizzy, the next few minutes consisted of me just trying and failing to regain my balance, within the haze I decided to check the time to see how long I had been asleep, so reaching out I grabbed the phone and the time flashed on its screen, immediately, my sleepiness disappeared like the morning wind and instead a cold chill creeped up my spine “6:30?!” I shouted as I immediately jumped to my feet my former dizzy state evaporating into the atmosphere

  I grabbed all the groceries on the table and hurried to the kitchen, but my own vices finally caught up to me today

  I froze at the threshold of the kitchen staring at the heap of plantes in the sink “flip” I cursed, you see, I hadn't had anything to eat today except that little snack and the noodles from the middle of the night but that didn't count but oh what's so wrong with that? You ask me? good question, if I wanted to cook I'd have to wash the dishes and in doing so I'd have to arrange and store all the groceries

  And now you may be like- ohh that's a bit of work but it's not that bad?- wrong! If I already do that much work my stupid brain would be like oh if you're already doing this much work why don't you clean the whole kitchen,then the dining then everywhere! “Fuck, I guess I'm just gonna kill myself” I said to no one

  I sighed, placing down the groceries and got to work

  4-hours later

  I landed on the couch for the upteenth time today, I was already regretting my life at this point “well fuck it I'm done!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, giddy beyond comprehension

  I checked the time, 10:22 “well I-I'I

  I was staring at the blinking cursor

  10:48

  I just knew the time

  Forcefully removing my eyes off the screen I slammed the laptop shut

  I was staring at the cursor again

  11:20

  I tried to twist my face out of view from the cursor, to no avail, loke it was held by vice grips my face was stuck staring at the screen, my mind screamed for me to do something, anything and I did the only thing I could do at that point in time and closed my eyes…and started trashing around

  I couldn't make out anything through the haze of the confusion shapes, non euclidian geometry, the piercing head pain and bouts of hyperventilating

  -

  —---

  I was awoken by the feeling of running water and a lack of oxygen, more instinctively than anything I raised my head above the water that was slowly drowning me

  Everything spun, my ass was on the floor in a few seconds as I heaved all that was in my stomach out, thankfully-there was nothing there

  After attaining some version of equilibrium I grabbed whatever was nearest to me and heaved myself up, blinking the blurriness away, I came face to face with my reflection “fuck I look like a mess” my bloodshot eyes stared back at me through the reflection, my hair frayed on ends, racoon eyes prominently displayed and my lips were dry “what the fuck is going on” I whispered, already on my last legs

  All of a sudden my reflection smirked and answered “why don't you ask yourself that again?”, I froze, my brain struggling to keep up with what I was seeing “hey! Hey?, huh who expected that I'd be so bad at keeping up, anyway to answer the question you were about to ask, yes you have schizophrenia” my reflection rapid fired “what? Wha why?” I intoned, trying to rationalize the situation

  “Okay so we don't have enough time for tearful reunions, to summarize all your problems…..your gonna have to write” my reflection said

  Immediately, my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach “what do you mean by that?” I asked, hoping I was missing something here, but who was I kidding I was speaking with my own reflection

  “Y-O-U WRIITTEE” the reflection mouthed extremely slowly

  “I can't, I I just can't” I whispered, placing my hands on my head

  “Oh yeah?, please do tell me why?, oh what do I hear?, fucking EXCUSES is what I hear, you know that there's nothing stopping you!, but no no no no you're afraid, afraid of what exactly huh? Some bald eagle is gonna drop a rock on your head?, no you have no fucking reason to be scared, but you fucking wimp oh my God I wish I wasn't the reflection” my reflection answered scolding me like I was a baby

  A surge of indignation flared in my chest “ and what the fuck do you know about that?!* Do you know how it feels?, to stare at a page and for nothing to come to mind?, you can't fucking get it!” I lashed out

  “Ohh fucking brother, hear yourself!, I'm your reflection you idiot!, I know for a fact you have ideas, you're just to afraid to put it down!, you can lie to anyone else but you can't lie to yourself” he answered exasperation in his tone

  A burning rage simmered in my chest but I knew he was right-i knew I was right

  “Well we don't have that much time left, see your useless ass never again..hopefully” he said

  But before I was able to retort.. I saw it

  12:00

  My eyes rolled into my head and I slumped

  I was staring at the blinking cursor once again, my hands shook and my breath quivered unlike every other time, this time my mind was clear, I wanted to run but I knew I could never escape this no matter where i ran, my dreams, out into the world-everywhere

  And so I steadied my hands, smoothed my breath, cast out all the doubts in my mind and I just

  Wrote ……