Kaisa scrubbed at the toilet seat and sink, trying to up the piss and brown mess. Her paws trembled with barely tained rage. Shit! Everything, everything is covered in shit! A mixture of bones clogged a toilet, and she had to fix it, choking on the disgusting smell. Bastards! What did they eat to make such a mess? And how e there were ued bones?!

  Why did you hurt your family? She remembered Janine’s question.

  Kaisa wasn’t sure why the bitch kept pestering her by asking the same question during every visit. Tonight, like usual, she went to the wounded warlord fuidahe lessons weren’t half bad. Janine imparted the wisdom of trench warfare to the wolf hag, expining how to prevent a pack from wasting time by f them to stru exteunnel system. This system could be useful for surviving an artillery barrage or ung a surprise atta the enemy. In hindsight, it made sehe Wolfkins preferred deep underground dens, and Kaisa eagerly shared the information with the lesser females in Ygrite’s pack, earning a begrudging thanks.

  She expected the granny, who bled like a cusack, to kick her out, but Jani her word, and her doors were open.

  Because it is their fault that I am in this situation. Kaisa answered then and paced bad forth across the room, trying not to look into these bored amber eyes. Had they only been strong, had they only had the dignity to not hold me back after everything that I have done for them, thehing would be normal!

  Liar. Janine sneezed. Kaisa. You keep making amends and pretending to ge all you want. But you ’t really get better and move on until you ahis simple question. Why?

  Fuck off, old bitch. Rage made her shake, and the automatic pump fell from her paw. The damn device shattered, scattering pieces across the floor. What does Jahink she knows? Lying, as if! Kaisa was the reason her useless siblings survived. She guarded them is, fed them, ed them, and stood guard when those useless sacks of shit whimpered in their sleep, calling Mommy and Daddy! The bastards that abahem! No one ever called her! She took care of them, and there was always fear in their eyes! Even before she started... started…

  St out of the toilet booth, Kaisa sat on the floor. Besides, what does it matter? Her brothers were males, her sister was weak. They deserved to be dominated; she had dohing wrong! They were the ones who held her bad stole her happiness! Happy... With trembling fingers, Kaisa started reassembling the pump, putting the chords bato sockets, and mounting the rubber tube ba.

  Kaisa could have been normal. If… If only she were admitted into Alpha’s pack. The respect she so richly deserved, the good pay, and plenty of free time on her paws! She’d served a warlord who stood up for their own, who taught and guided! Had she been in Alpha’s pack, she’d never have won her first domination match. Crushed by a wolf hag, Kaisa would have been accepted as a warrior, and for the first time she would be able to rex and... and be okay, never fearing, never cursing herself for letting her soldiers die because of her inexperience.

  The rubber tube slipped from her fingers, elig a growl from Kaisa.

  “Shit to shit, how fitting,” a cheerful voice said. Lifting her head, she saw Bogdaer.

  “Do you mind, shithead?” The pump almost broke in her paws. “I am trying to work here. Find yourself aoilet… Bastard!”

  Kaisa recoiled in disgust as Bogdan approached, unzipped his pants, and began leaking casually into the urinal, almost sh her with yellowish water. She drew herself high and cast a long shadow on him, doing her best to resist the urge to see his insides spttered on the dirty floor.

  “What is your problem, shit stain? Wanna die?”

  “You heard the Blessed Mother.” The insufferable scum fshed a smile, tinuing his business! “Try toug me, and Lacerated One will see you skinned. As for my problem, well… It is you. You don’t deserve to be in the army, but that I live with. What bothers me is your proximity to my family,” his voice grew cold. “Your family and I had a chitchat. I know what you did to them, you sick psycho. And now you g to my mother, like a wounded cub asking to be coddled. You aren’t a hot shit, you know it? You are not a soldier, just a useless bully. Because of your behavior, you got your ass hao you, and someone else had to go on the mission. And they had died as a result, taking a p the grave so richly reserved for you.”

  Kaisa's fist closed as her heart pumped blood so hard that the veins iemples pulsated. Remembering Janine’s lessons, she looked aside, taking deep breaths. First. The fucker knows nothing. Sed. Does he think she doesn’t bme herself? Third. She volunteered, damn it! It wasn’t her fault! Who does this self-righteous bastard think he is? Bogdan had it easy: a mother, a father, and a family that actually cared! Kaisa had none of that; her siblings were useless; she had to try to whip them into shape after the shame they brought upon her! It was all their fault, not hers! She was ready to go and die if necessary; it was Janine’s fault; she denied Kaisa a p the team; she…

  She let someone die. The realization slowly sank in. It made sense, didn’t it? If Kaisa hadn’t spent all her free time beating up her siblings, if she had trained a her pack up to date, she would have gone on the mission that night, because then Ashbringer would have had no reason to challenge her. Kaisa would’ve cleaved a path for the advaeam… And there would be less grief that night.

  “Get the fuck out.” She spoke through ched fangs, trembling. “Now! Or I will report you for… unworthy du front of the anding officer.”

  “Sure, ma’am.” Bogdan deliberately slowly finished his business, pausihe exit to rest a paw on the door g. “I have ears, Kaisa, and they heard your boasts about harming Marco.” His cws splintered wood. “You’re always whining about not being where you belong. Well, listen here. Try to so much as scratch my little bro, and I send you where you belong. Lay a finger on my buddy Kirk and I’ll bury you. And no one will bat an eyelid.”

  Kaisa smmed the door after him, hard enough to damage the jamb. She groaned in frustration when she heard the craow she had to fix that too! She returo the pump, reassembling it more slowly this time, using her cws to push screws into positions, taking slow breaths, and not g about smells anymore.

  Why did you hurt your family? She didn’t lie, right? Her siblings were weak; they stole her future in spite of everything she did for them. They deserved to suffer as much as she did! There wasn’t anything else.

  Kaisa tried to remember the past wheurned home from the pits, carrying food for the squeaking fuzzies at home. Tired, her bones crag, she fed her siblings, chewi for them aing them crawl over her. Did she... did she really never care about them? If so, why did she care about their wellbeing? Why oh did she go to such lengths to eheir survival?

  She bit her lip, getting progressively a herself for wasting so much time beating Kirk. Kaisa could’ve trained her pack! She could have taught them ricks or learned more about fighting herself. Why did she... Why in the holy names of the Spirits did she waste so much of her life on something so petty, so useless… vile.

  Kaisa paid little attention to Bogdan’s threat. A: He is a male. What is he going to do—bleed on her? B: She was the expendable one. Like all normal people, Anji had people who cared about her; that bastard Bogdan had a family who cared about him, and friends to boot! Even that dork Marco was genuinely adorable; no wonder Anji always tried helping him. Who does Kaisa have? Bogdan spoke true; should she die right now, no one will care.

  I wish I was normal. Kaisa reassembled the pump and looked at the doorjamb. I fix it. She promised herself, remembering Anji’s offer.

  Yeah. She’ll take it. It was too scary to go to a therapist alone. And then she’ll help Marco. She owed him that much. There… there had to be steps to mend everything. To ge.

  No one will ever die because of me ever again.

  ****

  I give you everything.

  Mad Hatter stood in the ter of a crater, her curved bdes sheathed. Heat still emanated from the molten rock that swirled around her boots. It leasa. No longer focused on the here and now, she could hear the rumble of artillery trying desperately to keep the Horde at bay, and the war cries of the khaganates. So many of them were here. Tens of thousands of hearts were beatied, furious, frightened. A music of war.

  Another heart y at her feet, slowly stopping. She hadn’t the fai idea who he was. Mad Hatter left the camp for a stroll, speaking her mind treat Father above, ign the aberration. A streak of lightning carrying a silver-cd idiot across the night sky had caught her attention, and then he was on her, shouting that she would pay for her crimes. It ended as usual—the weak chattered, the strong acted. To honor his dedication at least, she caught him on the bde and opened him from chest to groin. Already dying, the man spat in her face, pleasing her with his defiance. She had already prepared a little poem in his honor.

  You stand ohreshold of immortality.

  “No one is immortal, save for the Sky, demon,” she ughed at the white motes flowing around her. Sounds faded, the molten rivers stopped, and even the rain of debris arouopped. “The stro fat, grow old and fall. It is our nature. We e, we go, and the Sky remains.”

  You are worshipping a ey, girl. I have seen this rock floating in the void, lifeless and cold. My hands sowed it with life; my wreeted the first ape rising to the first su. Such power you gain if you but accept me. The voice was everywhere and nowhere; its warm, assuring words were meant for her ears alone. She knew better than to swing her head left and right, hoping to see the deceiver.

  “Heaven had already given me enough. The rest is up to me.” There was someo the edge of her vision. A figure formed of coalesced blinding light, its eyes burning red. Her arm moved, and a bde of propelled air sliced the figure in half, cutting a long line across the ground behind it. The figure reformed, ughing sadly, and hands touched her shoulders, beseeg her to be calm.

  The strong lead, the weak obey. Is that not your creed? He whispered into her ear. Accept me, and the ultimate power shall be yours this instant. In pce of a human, the sun will shine on the queen of the new world, a true transded being, worthy of my love. Your hand shall sweep away the remnants of the unworthy so that true servants may e in their pce.

  “What I want, I take by my own hand.” She turned, but there was no one behind her. “Your words reek of lies, deceiver. God does not hide.” She pointed above. “The Sky never hides nor demands submission; he does not care for heresy; he does not he help of a mortal. My father simply is, and this is the true divinity. Eliminate humanity, shed my mortal coil? I am mad, not genocidal or idiotic!” Her bombastic ughter tore the veil of suspeones around them.

  Do they not offend you? Even from here, I seheir ambition ahe words of cowards who ever muster the ce to face you. They scheme, skulking in your shadow, smiling in your face while holding daggers behind their backs. He g to her back, his voice pleading, soft and ed. Worthless sves, undeserving of yaze, disloyal servants, and fools who resist yhtful rule. What is there to cherish?

  “Worthless?” Such ignorance amused her. She remembered the first sve whom she earned by breaking the neck of an arrogant khan. The wizened, bent maed such beautiful musi his flute. It moved her, the stro human, to grab a fan and dance, ughing happily. “Strength es in many forms, fiend. If those below me kill me, it means I became weak and deserve to lose. You say you give me anything…” she asked slyly, giving the figure a sideways gnce.

  Yes. Anything. Wealth. Eternal life. Your every wish be granted in an instant. I am a gift.

  “Then gift me your life. Die. Cease to be.” Mad Hatter smiled.

  His disapproval alpable, his irritatioer than any drink she had retly. He had cost her so many years of stolen sleep. The demon id promises at her feet day and night, often intruding and f her into versation. Idiot. Not everything had a price, and her soul and her devotion to the Sky weren’t that cheap.

  She bore no ill-will to her father above for not helping her. A parent ’t be expected to stand in never-ending vigil over their child eternally. At some point, the child had to mature and make their own decisions. Mad Hatter did just that. A raven does not five a rat for feasting on its offspring. It doesn’t fet insults hurled at it. The Gilded Horde will rule from tio ti and find this coward for her to…

  The dying man at her legs shifted, and she tilted her head. There was no pop, no slurping sound on teors, and the edges of the bisected flesh didn’t shift. No, a simple line of light ran down the wound, closing it, and she heard a thumb. Very loud, it soon rose to a drumming worthy of a theater py, beating on and on, and Mad Hatter cpped her palms in tuo it, enraptured by the music of revived life.

  Lightnings fshed everywhere, flowing over her, superheating the surfaew and bathing the nd in a blue and white glow. The assaint’s hands twitched, his legs vulsed, while she danced, regretting not having her harp. It was fun! A normal person standing here would have buro the ground long ago., but the fury of the elements pleased her. It was as if she were a small child again, climbing the highest mountain to pay her respects to her revered father and the God of all.

  “Goooood…” half-yawned, half-stretched the dead man. His eyes fshed, fog on her, and more muscles wriggled uhe skin, like a tight knot of rope unraveling. The skin stretched but ore, the man’s silvery clothes evaporating into smoke as lightning forks leapt into her eyes. “Divine punishment awaits any who bsphemes against God.”

  “Weren’t you yelling about proteg your nation just now?” asked Mad Hatter and ate a straight upperded on her jaw, and a jolt of electricity raced over her skin, intensifying to bee a spear of light that hid her head. His skin turned gold. A pilr of light pletely engulfed her head, jumping from the thrown-up strands of hair as the energy pilr disappeared into the clouds above.

  “Take up your swords, heathen,” demahe creature.

  “Nah,” the khatun replied. She touched her smooth skin, whipping away the streaks of blood seeping from under her eyelids. “You sold your soul for this?” she asked in disgust.

  It, Mad Hatter no longer sidering this filth to be humaed, sending out a dome of electricity. The khatun ughed and opened her arms wide to wele the tig sensation, not g that the pins and rings holding her furs turned red. Warm! This was fun. The world spun, and she leao the left, still ughing after the thunderbolt-covered leg kicked her against the temple.

  “Still unimpressed, non-believer?” The creature asked mogly.

  “Yep,” Mad Hatter firmed, not b thten up. Another kick to the head followed from the other side; the golden figure disappeared, keeping the dome of crag electricity around her. She was struck almost simultaneously from the left and the back, on the hen a finger poked her in the eye, but the khatun tio jeer, ign the shockwaves from its punches and kicks. The silly buffoon tried to impress her with its speed. “To tell you the truth, you were much more beautiful when you fought like a man for a cause you believed in.”

  “You dare?!” The figure stopped flickering arouhe dome disappeared, and the electricity and lightning geed by its pathered into this figure, fleetingly moving toward his fists. Orbs of pure energy grew on them, pure white gloves that pletely covered its arms. Blue streaks rose from their surfad jumped between the man’s hands. “You dare question my unendiion to God? I will shut your heinous mouth ond for all!”

  He jumped, and Mad Hatter’s gaze followed him, barely curious about what he would do. Its power increased tenfold, it moved faster, its blows were far more powerful than before, but the khatun viewed the disgusting lump of flesh as a cautionary tale. Free will is precious; it was worth more than stupid strength. A sve, faking smiles and hating her i, was infinitely more important to her than this extension of a fn will, whose every desire was ied in exge for accepting the deal. The deceiver…

  A line of white linked her to the sky as the creature hurled its thunderbolts at Mad Hatter. The groued; the force of the impact had driven the khatun up to her neto the quagmire that the overheated stone had bee. She climbed free, hearing the roar of the exploded projectile that dwarfed even the distant battle and witnessing the widening crater.

  “You…” A ray of light shone down and transformed into the golden figure. “How much longer must I endure your impertinence…”

  “Enough,” Mad Hatter said.

  She was on the fool before it could register her movement. The creature had done something far worse than simply surrendering its will. It bored her. Her arm plunged into the golde, breaking through the ribcage as if it were made of paper. Wind fpped her hair as the driven air finally caught up with them, tearing house-sized ks of rock from the untouched ground. It tried to squeak; beams of light formed in the creature’s irises, but she ched her hand, bursting its heart.

  It died disappointingly fast; blue lightnings from the initial shot still lingered, ging to a red hue when life was banished from the eyes.

  Do you see now? The white mist swirled around Mad Hatter, its edges pointing at the widened crater, and fissures opened in the ground. Devotion is greatly rewarded. I am not a siley who never responds to the pleas of my flock.

  “No, you lie and use them.” She focused her eyes on the figure in the mist. “He asked for a power to cast me down. And you have assigned him the role of an example to entice my i, false preterue God has no need for falsehoods.”

  Any person has their limits. Yours are simply greater than the most. The whisper came. Py your silly game. When the end es, you’ll beg me for aid.

  “When my st hour es, I will face it with iy and ask for no more mercy than I have shown others,” responded Mad Hatter.

  The flow of time returo normal. Her own perception dropped from its height, so she would not be exhausted for months watg a stone fall. It was a lonely existeo be at the peak. Mad Hatter purposely put herself on the normal human level, ign the Purebloods’ fusion. They were too engrossed in their game, vying for a scrap of authority. Alliances were formed only to be dissolved the day, oaths were sworn and then broken, and occasionally there was even a hint of stubborn nobility, a sign so rare ai the Gilded Horde.

  What a wonderful existence! petition sharpens the mind, but since birth, no one could match hers. Mad Hatter deliberately ventured into traps to turn them around, used Dirtybloods and even boo humble arrogant khans. Nothing brought her joy; it was so simple, the fws to exploit so obvious. Any game bees stale when you win all the time. It was unfair to the loser and to her.

  A stage had drawn her. First, she shyly recited poems, bringing tears to the eyes of murderers, and then she dared to dance, enced by her wizened sve. The man old her his name, and though it would be trivial to break him, Mad Hatter granted him this cloak of dignity, personally giving him a sky burial after Darkie, as she called him, died of old age. Flutes, harps, throat singing, drums, dances, performance! Infinite variations—a pure sea of untapped creativity—waited for her to pour her emotions and intelleto. Former rapists no louro violence; murderers pursued dignity; butchers showed mercy to the you after hearing her songs. It thrilled her, even more than quering.

  But things e to a halt, if not to an end. There was the night the weak demon sat on her shoulder. He whispered even now, denying her a ce to sleep, a ce to formute her thoughts, disrupting her creativity. Mad Hatter was not a kind person. First, she bent the Steppes to her will, searg for the trickster. He was not found. And the Gilded Horde marched on, burning their own legacy upon the world.

  “It is ready, Khan of Khans,” said a stern voice. It had touches of static that disturbed some sylbles. Mad Hatter smiled, hearing her dear curiosity from tens of kilometers away. O hurdle to clear before fag the Recmation Army, fellow madme on world domination. It should be fun.

  There is a py brewing. She decided. Iron Lord and Brood Lord. So different, so ambitious. She eheir equality, the thrill of uainty, and uttered a simple prayer to her true father, begging the Sky to send her an oppo of superior or equal abilities to face so she could taste pain again.

  The battlefields were her stages now.

  “What unfivable crimes have you itted that the Sky has deafened your ears to my demands?” Mad Hatter asked aloud, addressing all those foolish enough to oppose her. She lifted the corpse to the heavens for approval and saeeth into it, ign the whispers of the false filth.