“That’s right. He apparently is.” Luke nodded his head.
“You’re so lucky. You must live such a charmed life. I bet you can have anything that you want.”
Luke shrugged his shoulders.
“I know how it is. High status comes with high expectations. It’s always, ‘You have to be better than everyone else’, and ‘Don’t take any prisoners’, ‘Give no mercy and expect none in kind.’ On and on and on.” The Orchid Keeper made a flapping motion with her hand. “Family can be so annoying. So where do you live?”
Luke put a hand on his cheek. “Well I was recently staying in the Capital.”
“Really? I live in the Capital? What area do you live in?”
“Uh, close to the, uh, center?” Luke said.
“Ah! But Luke was originally from Star Town. Isn’t that right Luke?” Jack leaned over on the bench that the judges were sitting on and put an arm around Luke’s shoulder.
“Luke and I go way back. We’ve known each other for a long time. We went to school together. Isn’t that right?” Jack didn’t wait for an answer. “That’s right! Lots of big, important people coming from Star Town. Yep!”
Jack pulled Luke in closer for a whisper.
Luke raised an eyebrow.
#
Ash scowled as he stared at the judge’s bench. “Jack’s easy. He’s a craftsman at heart. The Guard, Plaster-something, she’s disinterested, more practical. But that fancy girl…” Ash scrutinized Bellfrey. “I’m pretty sure that she’s antagonistic on principle. Not sure what to do about that. How do you even deal with a person like that?” Ash said without a single thread of introspection.
Penny stretched her hamstrings. “Get the other two. We can use peer pressure to get her. If she thinks that the other two have reevaluated you then she will reevaluate you as well.”
“I can try my best. But my best isn’t very good. It’s hard to explain, but it’s always crap.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Really?” Ash tilted his head.
Penny’s eye made a hard line at the other side of the stage. “Not today at least. I came here to get on this stage and to showcase our competition into the floor. I don’t care what I’m wearing, I’m going to set the streets of this city on fire.”
Ash smirked. He looked down. “Why do you have socks stuffed in your boots?”
“The boots are hand me downs. They’re sentimental. But they don’t really fit so I had to give them a little adjustment.”
“Adjustment huh?” Ash played with one of the zippers on his jacket. A curious smile formed at the edge of his mouth.
#
“This is no small alteration we’re talking about here.” Tears were streaming down Alli’s face. “The craftsman ship! The attention to detail! The quality of the stone… how could have let this happen!?”
Gilt looked down at his feet and rubbed his thumbs together. “Well, it was an accident.”
Alli, Gilt, and the Daedal Keyboardist were standing in the middle of a huge atelier beneath the Ocean’s Bounty. The room was filled with long tables used to display fine goods such as gold necklaces, porcelain vases, and velvet coats. Craftsmen took turns using magnifying glasses and calipers to examine the variety of treasures on display. Clerks took notes and made detailed drawings of the goods that were examined. Floor to ceiling steel shelves held all the extra valuables that were not currently being appraised. Along the walls were huge freight elevators guarded by stern looking security personnel with clipboards and truncheons.
Alli, Gilt, and the Daedal Keyboardist crowded around a wagon that had been wheeled into the atelier. A stunning statue was swaddled by straw in the back of the wagon.
Also Jonathan Reference was there too for some reason.
“You accidentally shot the nose off of one of the finest statues I’ve ever seen!?” Alli sneered.
“It wasn’t my fault.” Gilt whined.
Alli turned to face him. Her eyes were sharp and her voice even, despite the tears running down her cheeks. “I bet you say that a lot.”
Alli shifted her glasses and brought one of her long sleeves up to dry her face. “I can’t imagine how we could fix this. This sort of work is irreplaceable.”
The Daedal Keyboardist examined a sheaf of papers in their hands. “No chance of summoning a duplicate. The quality would be obviously inferior.” They looked over their shoulder at a line of smaller statues sitting on the table. Each one was misshapen in some way.
“We have the finest duplicators in the Kingdom, probably the whole world. But this…” The Daedal Keyboardist let out a *Whistle*. “Gold and grief, I don’t think there’s anyone that could copy this.”
The Keyboardist tapped their fingers on the table in a comforting pattern. “Maybe we could summon a similar material. A small bust perhaps? Then chisel down the excess until we have a replacement nose.”
Alli blanched. “We are not trading one work of art for another. Our purpose here is art preservation.”
“I thought it was counterfeiting.”
“They don't have to be mutually exclusive.” Alli dried her eyes again.
“Sounds like an expensive restoration.” Jonathan Reference leaned over and examined the statue.
“How can you think of money at a time like this? We’re looking at a one of a kind work of art. The cultural value of a work like this is inestimable.” Alli pointed at the statue. “It’s criminal to let a work of art such as this be, so molested.” Tears formed at the corners of Alli’s eyes again.
She turned to the Daedal Keyboardist. “We need to get a panic team on this right away. Call all the Craftsmen we have in the city. We will need to have them meet so that we can form an action plan.”
“We’re already expecting second shifts for the Tournament.” The Keyboardist rubbed their forehead.
“What about the cost?” Jonathan raised an eyebrow.
“I have access to Lady Chamber’s discretionary fund.” The silver charms on her wrists jangled. “We can use that to cover the costs until the next quarter.”
Gilt pulled his arms behind his back. “So all of these craftsmen and resources. When do you think that they will be assembled?”
“We should have everything ready in five days or so.” said the Daedal Keyboardist
“Right in time for the Hundred Aught Hundred Ought Tournament.” Alli nodded.
“Interesting.” “Interesting.” Gilt and Jonathan said at the same time. The two men looked at each other, frowned, then faced the other way.
“By the way, who are you?” Alli said to Jonathan.
“Pause, pause, pause. I’m no one suspicious.” Jonathan Reference pulled his shoulders back, spread his arms wide, and put on a winning smile.
(Despite what you may be thinking right now, most of the time when he said that, people believed him.)
“I got lost on my way to the prize vendor. I was taking some time admiring all the really nice things you have down here. All the leftover prizes from the preliminary rounds of the tournament, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Wonderful. How nice to see them stored in one convenient location. But I should really get going. In fact, I think I see someone that can guide me out of here. Excuse me, over here. I need to get back to the Convention Hall.” Jonathan waved at a Guard and started jogging across the room.
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
As Jonathan walked out of the room he passed someone leaning against the wall wearing a polar bear costume. The head of the bear costume turned towards him, and he felt a moment of alarm. But he didn’t let it break his stride and hurried out of the room.
Jonathan and the guard left the Craft Works atelier. In the hallway outside they were grabbed by the shoulders and dragged into an alcove.
“What are you doing? You’re drawing too much attention.” Privati hissed at the two of them.
Jonathan adjusted the buckle of his belt. “That’s kind of the point. I’m getting around. I’m being friendly and making friends. People are less suspicious of their friends.”
“There’s no way that will work.”
“We’re friends, aren’t we Privati?”
“We are work associates. Really, I shouldn’t associate with you at all. That is what will prevent suspicion. And who is that?” Privati pointed at Nick who was wearing the Guard uniform.
“He’s my escort, or my disciple if you prefer.” said Jonathan.
Jonathan slapped Nick on the shoulder. The Guard’s breastplate that Nick was wearing rattled on his loose frame.
“The Guard doesn’t question you when you’re already being escorted by one.”
“Keep your focus Reference. We still have a lot to do. I’ve made arrangements for your entrance.”
“Do tell.”
“Alli will keep a door open at the dock. As long as you’re wearing a uniform she will wave you through. Then it’s only a few meters to the freight elevator station. You can use that to get to the vault floors.”
“And after we clear out the vault we make a clean getaway. We will even have a Guard escort.”
Jonathan slapped Nick again.
“That’s right sir. I’ve already scouted out the vehicle pool as you requested.” Nick said.
“Good lad.” Jonathan smiled.
Privati picked up a roll of nylon. “Good. Now I have to go take care of, a thing. Make sure that you’re all set up for the tournament.”
“We will.”
Jonathan waved to Privati as she walked away. Nick waved as well as soon as he saw Jonathan doing it.
Jonathan reference pulled a ring of keys out of his pocket. “Here you go Nick. You’re going to be a Guard for a few more days so here is a set of Guard keys.”
Nick took the keys and tried to jam them into one of his pockets.
“Remember, five extra carriages for the good loot. We’ll load Meeker’s carriages with the basic goods and then take the good stuff for ourselves.”
“Got it boss.”
“You’re so good at taking orders Nick. You would have made a fine Guardsman.”
#
“Hello, I’m looking for a scrivener.”
Ted’s head poked around the corner of the kitchen.
The Thimbletopped Gourmet waved a hand at him. “Oh good. Another pair of hands. Here, take this prosciutto-wrapped cantaloupe and deliver it for me.”
Ted looked down at the platter that was thrust into his hands. “I’m not sure I have time for this. I really do need to find someone to copy some forms for me.”
The Thimbletopped Gourmet nodded his head without listening. “Sure, sure, whatever you need to do to make ends meet. Now order up and deliver that tray. Let’s go!”
“Well, it would be rude not to help.” Ted shrugged.
#
“And now, for what I am sure will be the third and final round of this competition…” Chance stepped out on the stage and smirked to the audience. “Another wondrous creation of my unparalleled talent. A robe d'oiseau.”
Chance bowed and the Mendicant Mermaid stepped out on stage. She was wearing what appeared to be a luxurious fur trimmed dress. But the appearance was deceiving. (Of course it was.) Instead of fur the fluffy ruffles that curved around her neck and sides were created from long white tail feathers that had been woven together like reeds into a lattice structure. The many interlocking tail feathers resembled a downy coat of fur. But at the same time all of the quill tips of the feathers pointed inward at the person wearing the dress. The Mendicant Mermaid made multiple moves on stage with tears building at the corners of her eyes.
(Every now and then a tiny tuft of bird based protein drifted up and away from the dress giving it an enchanting aura of shimmering sparkles under the stage lights.)
“Another incredible presentation Mr Eaupéril. I give it eight points.” said Bellfrey.
“Another remarkable showing of craftsmanship. I also give it eight points.” said Jack.
“Another terrible day for my allergies.” Platina sniffed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “No points, and someone get me a handkerchief. Where is Nevre when I need him? Is this contest over yet?”
Chance’s smirk soured at Platina’s words but he kept his composure. “I think we are just about done. Yes I can see the younger Sifter boy coming on stage now. What has he prepared to compete with me this time? And, oh no, oh yes, are those cargo pants? What a display!”
Ash and Penny moved to the center of the arena. Penny was dressed in a pair of splotchy canvas pants that had large obvious zippers right below the knees. Folded pockets were sewn into the legs of the pants on both sides. An assortment of oils and dirts decorated the hems of the pants.
Ash crossed his arms. “Hey! Shut up! They’re not only cargo pants. They’re also cargo shorts. Show him Penny.”
Penny crouched down and pulled across a zipper located below her knees. The bottom half of the pant leg slipped free. Penny held up the loose cloth for the audience to see.
Chance chuckled. “How very thoughtful of you Nash. You decided to save everyone some trouble and made your clothes more efficiently disposable. Ha ha.”
The audience laughed as well. Who wouldn’t? What does it matter that a grown man is insulting a teenage boy in public. That kid must be a jerk after all.
Over at the judge’s table Bellfrey the Orchid Keeper made idle conversation with Jack.
“Is that a double overlock on your vest?” she asked.
“It’s a stretch overlock actually. But that was a good guess.” said Jack.
“Are those ivory buttons on your jacket?”
“Hardly. Ivory is impractical. They’re bone.”
“You prefer bone?”
“My Grandfather is a Craftsmaster so I know how it works. An ivory tusk is just a big tooth. Why should we settle for an external bone when an internal bone can have a much higher purity of material.”
“You make a good point.”
“What about your buttons?”
“They’re white jade.”
Jack *Whistled* in appreciation. “Those are very nice. And the color is a perfect compliment to your dress’ fabric.”
“Am I interrupting something?” Ash stood at the edge of the stage in front of the other two.
“Not at all. You can keep doing what you were doing. Three points.” Bellfrey didn’t even glance up.
“You didn’t even look.” Ash shouted.
The Orchid Keeper rotated to scan Ash’s costume. “Two points. Take the pity next time.”
“And what’s that on your pants?” Platina squinted her eyes at Ash.
Ash looked down. A streak of white liquid ran down the inside of his right thigh.
“Ah! When did that!?” Ash tried to tug his waistband in a panic. “Oh shit, that was, it was yogurt! It was yogurt from earlier. It’s yogurt. Luke. Luke! Tell them it was yogurt. Crap, he can’t hear me. I’m telling you I spilled something, that’s all it was.”
Ash ran back across the stage while furiously rubbing at his inner thigh.
Platina rolled her head back to look at Penny. “Wasn’t this supposed to be a competition? Those are only pants with a few extra pockets.” She stretched her bare legs out from under the table. “I can hardly see the point. Who needs that much carry space?”
“They’re practical.” Ash shouted.
“They’re childish.”
“They seemed like a good idea at the time.” Ash sank down at the edge of the stage and put his head in his hands.
Jack frowned. “And why are your pants so dirty? Your summoning skill has always been trash Ash, but didn’t you even attempt to clean them?”
Ash thumped his fish on the stage. “We tried. They resist any kind of cleaning. We tried spraying them with water but it didn’t work.”
“Are they vinyl or latex?” Jack sat up.
“No. They’re fabric.”
“They’re fabric? Water… proof fabric. That’s incredible. How did you summon that Ash?”
“I assure you it was not intentional.”
Now Platina scooted forward in her chair. “Are they really waterproof?”
“Uh, sure.”
“Spray them with some water.”
Ash looked at Penny. Penny shrugged onstage, then nodded.
Ash held up a hand. *Zap* A magic circle briefly appeared and then a burst of muddy water sprayed across Penny’s lower half.
Dirty water soaked the stage. But when it hit the cargo pants that Penny was wearing it only beaded up and dripped down onto the ground.
“They’re not only resistant, the fabric is actually repelling the water. Now try some foam.”
Ash held up his hand again. Foam sprayed from his fingers making another mess on the stage. Penny lifted her legs and displayed her once again, dirty yet dry pants.
Jack twisted one of the bone buttons on his jacket. “Look at how flexible that fabric is. Can you imagine a coat made from that? Or maybe a tent.”
“I wouldn’t have to worry about spilling anything on my skirts when I’m eating in the carriage.” Platina smiled. “That has to be worth at least seven points.”
Jack clapped his hands once. “Yeah, no argument from me. I also give it seven points.”
Ash pressed his nose against the floor. “Ugh. As usual, my mistakes are more valuable than my successes.”
“Ash!” Penny snapped.
“What?”
“Ash, that’s sixteen points.”
“Yes?”
“That means you didn’t lose this round.”
“That means I do what?” Ash blinked. “That can’t be right.”
“It means this round is a tie.”
“It means what!?” On the other side of the arena Chance Eaupéril’s head spun around so fast you could hear his neck bones *Pop*. “That! That’s, can’t be possible. I demand a recount!”
Lady Starling straightened her back in the center of the stage. “All scores are final Mr Eaupéril. It looks like this competition will need to proceed to a fourth round.”
A rumbling grumbling of bumbling mumbling ran through the audience.
“Booo…”
“Not fair.”
“There’s no way that Eaupéril lost that.”
Ash held out his arms and glared at the people seated in the stand behind him. “What’s the matter? Don’t like it when your silky smooth fashion master faces a little competition, huh?”
“You suck…” Someone shouted.
“You suck!” Ash shouted back.
Chance stomped a foot. “How dare you Ash. This is an enlightened competition dedicated to the spirit of fashion. And yet here you are cheating and summoning nonsensical and utterly blasé vêtements in an attempt to beat me on technicalities. Shame on you, young man, shame on you.”
“Now you remember my name. That's fine. Go ahead and turn your attention on me. I'm a jaded seventeen year old boy. There's nothing a faker like you could say to bother me.”
“How is your mother Ash?”
“You shut your filthy mouth old man!”
There was a rumble grumbling in the audience and a mounting shouting on the stage.
Lady Starling pointed her chin up and swept her eyes over the seating rows of the Convention Hall. “Everyone quiet down. The competition will continue.”