The lights focused on Penny as she walked out on stage. She was wearing her original clothes this time. In her hand she held a cane. The shaft of the cane was a traditional cylinder of wood, but the top of the cane was a large metal rectangle with square handles.
The crowd waited expectantly for something to happen.
Penny stood the cane in the center of the stage. Then she unfolded the square handles of the cane creating a small flat shelf on the top. She turned around, and gently sat on the shelf.
“So it’s a cane?” Bellfrey scratched her head.
“This is a multipurpose walking cane.” Penny said.
“More like a one legged stool.” Jack said.
“More like a portable butt warmer.” Platina scoffed.
“It’s practical!” Ash shouted.
“Does that even count as fashion?” Bellfrey smirked.
Jack crossed his legs. “Technically, I guess. A cane can be worn when not in use. Although this one has a secondary function making it, always in use, so, I guess.”
“It still looks tacky. One point.” Bellfrey waved a hand.
Jack shrugged. “Five points. It has some general use. Even if its design is uninteresting.”
“No style, no class, no sitting on your ass.” Platina shouted. “I only give it one point out of pity.”
Penny picked up the cane and walked back off stage. “Okay. So only seven points. Not the best result, but it’s still something.”
Ash put his head in his hands. “Good show. Good effort. We came further than I ever thought we would. Thanks for trying your best Penny.”
#
The stage was flooded with light.
Chance stood at the edge of the audience seating.
He held up a hand for attention. “A présentation spéciale. Something that only a few people in the entire Kingdom have ever witnessed. The pinnacle of material fashion. I give you… the Glass Weave.”
The Mendicant Mermaid strode out on stage, her arms held open wide at her sides. She was dressed in a simple seamless undergarment with her hair tied back. As she reached the center of the stage she performed a few turns.
The whole audience waited for something, anything, to happen.
Nothing did.
A drop of sweat rolled down Chance’s forehead and darkened the red collar of his cloak.
“It is *Ahem* a transparent fabric. You, uh, should be able to see a shimmer of light and color as she moves.” Chance gestured at the model.
The Mendicant Mermaid waved her arms left and right.
Nothing happened onstage.
She waved her arms some more.
Nothing continued to happen.
The Mendicant Mermaid looked back at Chance and shrugged.
From somewhere high in the audience setting someone could be heard shouting.
“I don’t get it.”
Chance sputtered onstage. “What? You, what? This is the Glass Weave! The most exquisite measure of fabric in the known world. Wars have been fought for this.”
“Which ones?”
“Metaphorical wars have been fought for this!”
#
“Should we put some more lights on the model in the center?” The Chalkdusted Illuminator asked from overhead.
“We put the down-lights on her. It’s fine.” Bede waved a hand.
“She seems to be dancing around. Maybe we should add some side-lights?”
“Don’t bother. There’s nothing to illuminate as far as I can see. But, put some more lights on Mr Eaupéril over there.”
“I think that man is having an emotional boilover right on stage.” Vance looked over the catwalk.
“I know.” Bede smiled. “Let’s light him up for everyone to see.”
#
“I don’t have to explain myself to you people! This is craftsmanship so far above your station you can barely comprehend it!” Chance shouted.
Jack half rose out of his seat. “Is that the glass weave? I’ve always wanted to see it for myself. May I come onstage and examine it?”
Chance blinked some sweat away as the overhead lights beamed down on him. “You absolutely may not! Keep your greasy fingers away from the pinnacle of fashion.”
“I see.” Jack frowned. “Then I only award you two points for the presumption of the pinnacle of fashion.”
“Boring.” Platina leaned back in her chair. “Zero points.”
“I hate to agree but she’s right. You have managed to present something even more uninteresting than a stick. Zero points.” Bellfrey smirked.
Ash and Chance both *Slammed* their fists into the stage at the same time.
“Are you kidding me?” “Are you kidding me!” They shouted in unison.
Lady Starling walked to the center of the arena.
“In another surprise upset, this round goes to the young Mr Sifter. The score now stands at 2 to 1 and 1 draw. We will proceed, to a fifth and final round.”
Penny grabbed Ash by the shoulders and shook him like a sticky ketchup bottle. “Ash! Ash, we won one.”
“I can see that.” Ash flailed.
“How do you feel about a tie Ash?”
“I don’t enjoy the idea that I would be seen as equal to Mr Eaupéril, but I think he would like it even less to be seen as equal to me. Let’s do it.”
#
Chance stomped at the edge of the stage.
“This is absurde!”
He took off his cape and hurled it into the audience.
“Those dirt farmers were rolling their eyes at clothing made out of the glass weave. The GLASS WEAVE of all things! Can you imagine!? It’s the pinnacle of taste. No one who is unworthy can even see it! I bet these imbeciles would even stick out their tongues at the legendary water cloth.”
The Mendicant Mermaid looked up at him. “Are you going to summon the legendary water cloth sir?”
“This isn’t about me! This is about respect, and destiny, and…” Chance slowly turned his head. He looked at Luke. “This isn’t about me at all…
#
Jack walked over from the judges table and put his arm around Ash’s shoulder.
“Ash, can you get me a table tonight? At that restaurant that you work at.”
“You want me to get you a table?” Ash grimaced. “Why should I?”
“I gave you five points.”
“No, I'm not getting you a table.”
“Why?”
“Because I hate you.”
“That's not a reason. That's only an emotion.”
Ash twisted his lip. “Huh, I don't have a good response to that. Fine. But I’ll need to get permission from our head chef. And there is no way that he will say yes.” Ash smirked.
“Great. You can do it Ash. I believe in you.”
“No you don’t.”
“You’re right.” Jack shouted as he hustled back to the judge’s table.
Penny adjusted the stuffing in her shoes. “Any good ideas about what to summon for the final round?”
Ash yawned. “I haven’t had any good ideas since I woke up this morning. But we’re on a winning streak with impressing the judges using utilitarian clothes instead of fashionable ones.” Ash looked down at the selection of summon gems that were sitting on a table beside him. He idly ran the tips of his fingers over the facets of a glittering red stone. “If I could only summon something really incredible- What is he doing?”
Ash and Penny turned towards the stage to see Chance dragging Luke up and into the center of the Convention Hall.
Chance was waving at the audience. “That’s right everyone. I’m such an incredible designer that my talents have even passed on to my son. That’s why I’m going to let him complete the final round of this competition.”
#
“As I told you, lighting design doesn’t qualify as an art form.” Vance crossed his arms.
Bede gritted his teeth. “And as I told you, illumination is the foundation of all artistic expression. Art literally needs to be seen to be appreciated.”
“Music doesn’t. Poetry doesn’t.” Vance thrust out his chin.
“Why am I even having this conversation with you? You refuse to even approach an understandable definition of art in the first place. You have the cultural sense of a sinkhole. You consume but never create.”
Vance straightened his sleeves. “Bold talk coming from the man too cowardly to ever go on stage himself.”
Bede’s fingers curled into fists. “You want to talk cowardice? You would know all about that. If I was your family I would have left abandoned too.” Bede did not make eye contact as he said the last part.
Vance had never thrown a punch in his life, but as a child he had thrown a good number of snowballs, and as a toddler he had thrown an impressive number of tantrums. So when he threw the box of colored gems sheets and hit Bede square in the face it dealt very little damage, but the box did explode and rain semi-transparent sheets across the catwalk.
This book is hosted on another platform. Read the official version and support the author's work.
“You toilet stain!” Bede pulled his arm back.
Bede had thrown a punch before, when he was a child. It had been years since he had to do his own fighting. Also his legs were asleep from being crouched down on the catwalks for so long. So when he stood up to deck Vance in the face, his arm went wide and wrapped around Vance’s neck.
The two boys tumbled to the catwalk with a loud *Crunch* and started wrestling.
The rigging techs looked at each other and then reluctantly walked over to stop the fighting and pry the two young men apart.
“I’m fine. I’m fine! Vance’s soft hands could barely swat a fly.” Bede dusted himself off as he was hoisted to his feet.
Vance was also helped to his feet. “You fight about as well as you direct.” he said.
One of the techs pointed down at Bede’s waist. “Mr Chambers! You’re injured.”
Bede looked down. A crimson stain was slowly spreading across his abdomen and dripping from his jacket.
“Hot shit Vance, did you stab me?”
“You can’t prove that I did.” Vance spit.
“Why is my blood so spicy?” Bede opened his jacket.
The crushed bottle of hot sauce *Rustled* in his pocket. Liquid seeped through the fabric and down his leg.
“What else could go wrong?”
#
Platina leaned over the judges table. “He’s letting his son make the final piece. Is that even allowed?”
Jack cracked his knuckles. “It’s a technicality. If the summoner is a member of an Artificer’s workshop then he can have a protege summon for him. According to the Guild charter it’s seen as an extension of the master’s skill and tutelage. So it is allowed by the rules.”
“Don’t tell me you are really going to allow this Jack!” Ash shouted.
“It’s the rules.” Jack shouted back.
“Screw the rules.”
“How dare you-” A single drop of hot sauce fell down and landed on Jack’s eyelid.
Jack blinked. Then he immediately doubled over and clutched his face.
“Ah! Oh! Eh! It burns. Quickly, I need some water!”
Platina casually reached over the table and picked up a green gemstone. She pointed it at Jack.
A pressurized stream of water exploded out from the magic circle that appeared in front of her and hit him right in the face. Jack was toppled over the judges table and into the aisle between the audience seating.
Chance and Luke took their places at the center of the Convention Hall.
Chance pulled Luke’s face around and stared directly into his eyes. “Luke, you want to make me happy don’t you?”
Luke wanted to blink but couldn’t. “I do.”
Ash clawed his way onto the stage. “Luke, don’t you do it!” He looked around and grabbed one of the random summon gems that was put out on a tray for the competition.
Penny jumped up, but her boot twisted. She sprawled out on stage a pace behind Ash.
Luke looked past his father, into the middle distance. “I’m sorry Ash. I want to.”
“Don’t you summon the best costume for him!” Ash scrambled to get to the stage.
Luke closed his eyes. “It’s never been my choice before.”
Electricity ran through the crowd, literally. Like the charge in the air before a bolt of lightning strikes, the audience felt a surge of energy course through them and surge towards the stage. This charge built up around Luke, refracting the light around him into the eighth color of the rainbow. The energy began to coalesce. It surrounded Luke like a shimmering nimbus.
Ash gripped the gem in his hand. Sparks of magical energy crackled around Ash’s fingers. “Not this time! For once in my life I’m going to-”
#
(Half a city away.)
“Ave, have you seen Tripillli anywhere?” Tasha asked.
“You lost him?” Ave looked around.
“No. But he is very small and sneaky. Check under your shoes.”
#
Ash felt a tickle under his armpit. He slapped his side with a free hand. The tickle moved to his lower back.
“Ah! Oh. Ehe-oh-hoh!” Ash tried desperately to maintain his concentration.
Penny stood up. “Ash are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’ve, Ah, got to, Oh!” Ash gripped his sides.
The stage was struck by purple/green lightning that passed through time and space, also roofs and floors, thankfully for the participants on stage it also passed through organic matter. As the light cleaned the audience uncovered their eyes. In the middle of the stage there was a horse. But not like a real horse. A horse-horse. A horse both more real and less real than a horse should be. As the audience watched, the horse began to move. But not like a real horse. The front part and the back part shifted independently from each other, legs kicking in different directions. The crowd then watched in horror as the middle of the horse began to twist itself in half. The middle part of the horse’s torso bisected itself and split in two, but not like a real horse.
Chance leaned back and adjusted the back half of the horse costume that he was wearing.
“What am I? What is this?”
Two arms reached out of the front half of the costume and Luke pulled the horse head part of the costume off of his own head.
“Did it work?” Luke slumped over.
Chance looked around. “This is, this is… unbelievable!” He held his arms up in triumph.
Lights swirled around Chance and Luke onstage. A rain of colored gels showered down on them like confetti.
“Ha ha ha! There is no contest. This is the ultimate costume. The two person horse! No one else in the world could have even conceived of this. My son is a genius. Since he is my son, that is by extension, my victory!”
The audience started cheering. Platina and Bellfrey politely clapped.
#
Councilor A turned his head toward the stage as he heard the lightning strike.
He frowned. “Now it really does sound like there is something exciting happening out there. I’m going to have a quick look.”
On the other side of the VIP box Plinth held a grape between two fingers. “Come on Cophin we need to hurry up.”
Cophin pulled his arm back and balanced a knife in his hand. “I need complete focus for this. Give me a second.”
“And here we go-!” Plinth tossed the grape into the air.
(Dammit!)
Cophin launched the knife. The blade spiraled through the air.
“Excuse me, is there a scrivener in here? I’m looking for someone that can copy official forms.”
Ted opened the door and took a step into the Councilor’s private box.
*Thunk*
The knife arched down and buried itself four centimeters into the meaty part of Ted’s thigh.
The Convention Hall erupted in thunderous applause.
Jonathan put down a canape he was about to eat. “Yikes…” He said in surprise.
Everyone else was speechless.
Ted looked down at the knife embedded in his leg.
“Is that a knife?” he asked.
Ted reached down. He wrapped his palm around the handle. With a smooth motion like removing a lollipop from its wrapper he plucked the knife out of his leg. There was a sudden *Plurp*Plop*Plurp* of blood coating his leg and discoloring his pants.
Ted looked up at the other people in the room. “Oh… I shouldn’t have pulled it out should I?”
Ted pitched forward and collapsed on the floor.
The room fell into chaos. People shouting over each other. One of the Guards threw his body over the Councilor, another one picked up a serving mermaid that had fainted.
Cophin and Plinth elbowed their way through the crowd to reach Ted’s side.
Cophin shoved a Guard out of the way. “Out of my way. Everyone relax! This is not tha first time I’ve stabbed a child.”
#
Ash peeled a sheet of gelatine off of his face.
“What happened? Did it work?”
“Ash?” Penny squeaked.
Ash looked behind him. Penny was collapsed on the stage. A pair of metal braces were wrapped around her shins and ankles. The metal braces were made from concentric circles of bronze linked together in parallel groups running down the length of her calves. At her ankles there was a larger spur that extended out from the brace. An apple sized bronze wheel was attached to the end of the spur, large enough to touch the ground while she was standing.
Penny looked down at the metal straps attached to her legs. “What are these?”
Ash crouched down next to her. “Well, uh, they’re some kind of clothes I guess. Are you okay?” Ash reached out a hand.
Penny tried to stand up. “Ah.” Her face flushed.
“Are you okay?”
“I have sensitive feet.”
“Can you stand?”
“Hold on, let me see.”
Penny tried to get to her feet. The little wheels on the bottom of her legs kept getting in the way. Ash held her hand as she stood up, but the wheels made her slide around like she was standing on ice.
A purple spark snapped off the wheels.
“Ash. Ash! They’re moving!” Penny shouted.
“What?”
Ash and Penny tried their best to remain standing but the wheels had an intent beyond reason or explanation. As the wheels rolled forward on their own Penny dropped back onto the stage.
“How do I stop them?”
“I have no idea!” Ash shouted.
The wheels kept moving and Penny was dragged feet first across the floor into the center of the stage. Ash threw himself down and grabbed onto Penny’s wrists. The wheels didn’t care, and the two of them slowly slid over the polished surface. As they were dragged across the stage their path pulled them right in front of Chance and Luke.
As Ash passed by Chance and Luke, Chance looked down at him.
“Better luck next time enfant.” Chance puckered his lips.
“You steaming sack of shi-”
Another drop of hot sauce splashed down and hit Ash in the eye.
His cries of pain were drowned out by the thunderous applause of the crowd in the Convention Hall.
The magically motivated wheels moved Ash and Penny across the entire stage and finished their work by dumping the two of them into the aisle between the audience seating.
As they lay there on the side of the stage Tripillli crawled out from under Ash’s clothes. The crustacean skittered over to Penny and began to feel the material of her deerskin boots with its segmented legs.
“...oh yes. This is nice…” <{‘~’}>
#
“I can’t feel my toes. Should I be able to feel my toes?”
Ted was stretched out over a dining cart. His leg was swaddled with a large towel.
“Try to relax, this is not the first time I’ve seen someone get stabbed.” Plinth wiped sweat away from Ted’s forehead and held up a tiny bottle. “Here, drink this. It’s a basic clotting potion. Let’s stop that bleeding first.”
Cophin stood on the other side and took Ted’s pulse. “Sorry for tha stabb’n kid. I was aiming at the, you know what, it’s not important.”
Councilor A finished his wine and looked sideways at Ted. “Can you drag him out into the hallway? I don’t want him to die in my private box.”
Ted turned his blood drained face towards the Councilor. “It’s so nice to meet you sir. I know it may not look like it right now, but I’m actually a Mayoral Aid. It’s a pleasure to be in the presence of one of the White Council.”
Ted held out a blood soaked hand.
#
Lady house sat alone in her viewing box at the highest level of the Convention Hall. A shimmering orb hung in the air in front of her.
The orb showed a hazy image of Vance and Bede arguing with each other on the catwalks above the stage.
House tapped a fingernail against her chin and *Sighed*. She waved a hand. The orb vanished, melting into a puddle of water that splashed onto the table.
Champ Letterman bumbled his way back into the viewing box. “I brought some towels back. Huh? I guess I spilled a lot more than I thought I did.”
#
Angel surveyed the Convention Hall.
“This is why I don’t take breaks.” Her mouth worked itself into a tight line.
“Is everything alright?” Nevre asked.
“Yeah, yeah, nothing you can help with. Why don’t you head back to your post.”
“Of course.” Nevre turned and shuffled away towards one of the elevators.
“Nevre!”
“Hmm?”
“Keep your schedule open this evening.”
Nevre gave a defeated nod. “It’s not as if anyone else would ever ask for my company.”
The two parted. Angel walked down the aisle to the edge of the stage.
“Sign it! Sign it already you pifter!”
At the edge of the stage Jack was clinging to Chance's legs. A sheet of paper was in his hand. The boy’s face was red and sweaty. One eye was swollen shut.
Chance was trying to pry the boy off of his pants. “Let go of me already. The competition is over. I have fans that need to bask in my presence.”
“Not until you sign it.”
“Are you that desperate for an autograph? Fine. Give me that paper.”
Jack shoved a fountain pen in Chance’s hand. “That’s right. There on the dotted line.”
Chance finished signing the paper and kicked Jack off of his leg. Jack shoved the paper into this jacket.
Angel looked to her left. Luke was passed out on stage with one arm dangling over the side. Ash and Penny were sitting against the side of the proscenium. Ash’s face was also red and swollen. Penny was sprawled out on the ground with her legs propped up on her bedroll. She was trying to figure out how to remove two large metal braces attached to her lower legs.
Ash looked up at Angel with one swollen red eye. “Hello again.”
Angel put her hands on her hips. “We have to stop meeting like this.” She shifted her shoulders and felt the weight of the axe on her back.
“I agree.” Ash’s eyes were watering and his nose was running. He used a free hand to wipe mucus from his top lip, then tried to clean his hand by rubbing it over the seafoam green carpet of the Convention Hall.
Angel rolled her eyes, then reached down and lifted Ash up by his belt. She looked over at Penny.
“Do you know these idiots?” Angel asked.
Ash shook his head.
“Yes. Sort of.” Penny replied.
Angel nodded. She reached down and grabbed Penny before tossing her over her left shoulder.
Penny let out a little *Squeak*.
Angel started walking around the stage. As she passed by Luke she lifted him over her other shoulder and kept walking. Finally she reached up and took hold of one of Jack’s legs.
Jack looked around in confusion. “Hey! What’s happening now? Unhand me. I have to get back to the private box seats right away.”
“Sure, sure, let me just clean up the stage really quick.”
Angel walked to the corner of the Convention Hall carrying the four of them. In the corner of the room a giant ceramic turtle had been sculpted into the wall. Angel used the tip of her shoe to tap one of the turtle’s flippers. *Kachunk*Clank*Clank* The turtle’s shell slid to the side and revealed a long chute that tilted down into the darkness.
Jack flailed. “Hey what are you? I am a guest of the-”
Angel wasted no time flipping the four of them into the metal tube.
“Thank you for attending the Ocean’s Bounty Fabulous Fashion Convention. If you would like more information on upcoming events be sure to sign up for our newsletter. If you would like information on tickets and pricing please visit the box office during regular hours. If you would like to make a complaint…”
…Angel’s voice faded away.