Dear Diary,

  [phonetically] Pry-vat Fhirst Klahss Gre-gore-ey Jore-Jjjh. Or Greg. He says he likes Sneaky just fine, and I don't complain about Yoiv calling me Trantran. I knew it would be a big deal to him, but there's just no preparing for that kind of thing, you know?

  Anyway, I still feel... protective? Protective. I still feel protective of Sneaky. From pet I mean, he can handle himself in a lot of ways, but how he reacted to our welcome was... well it made me worried for him. Like I was super happy that he accepted and stuff, but the way he broke down after. I think his "broken inside" really hurt him just then. It makes sense, after what he told us about his homeworld, his family, but still it would be scarily easy for somebody to hurt him. I swear by the Stars I won't let ANYBODY use that to hurt my brother. NEVER EVER!

  Today we had some of the hands helping Uncle Yaemdrill start installing the new furniture in Sneaky's room. We went about things in a sneaky (haha) way, and had them doing it while we took Sneaky to the bridge for a chat. Daddy tricked him in there by saying that it had the widest field of view through its viewports. Well, we didn't want to just hang out in the bridge because it had good windows. It was relatively private, which gave him the opportunity to continue his story. Unfortunately tea DOES NOT relax him. It's apparently a stim for him. Like, a totally mild one, but still the opposite.

  But Daddy's smart. He told Sneaky about his old job and Grandpa. I don't like the story. The way Daddy tells it makes it sound like he's weak, but I don't think that's right.

  Journal Entry: 24. Date: 1/4/2. Name: Greg George

  Well, my family thinks they can trick me. [Here there is a deep depression in the paper]

  My family. Looking back, I think I was treating the kids like siblings anyway. Looking ahead, I know I won't let anything fucking touch them. I won't miss. Shut up deep part of me. I'll just be on overwatch forever. It's fine. I'll make it fine.

  Weirdly, I didn't have any nightmares after such an emotional day. Dr. Johan might say something about processing and progress. Get your shit together internal therapist voice. That's just fucking confusing.

  So the tricking. I suspected that they were going to surprise me with something. Maybe some temporary furniture out of storage, I thought. Which would have been sweet. So I went along to the bridge with them for whatever they planned. Well, it turned out it was sharing time. Sharing time where Linus wouldn't sneak out and hear shit he's too innocent to hear. I'm still fucking ripped up that he heard about Ignitia. Shit was fucked to live, he shouldn't have to have heard that.

  So sharing time. Pops just out of fucking nowhere starts opening up about his younger days. "I wasn't always a long haul captain," he said to me, "I grew up on a rescue tug."

  Well fuck. "You guys see some stuff," I told him, "I can take it if you need an ear."

  He just smiled and continued, "I'm not cut out for the work. Neither is Yaem, but it was well. We wished to raise families in joy and safety. I couldn't handle the just five minutes too lates, the calls that didn't go through right, the chances we took to save lives that might end them if they failed. I couldn't handle the strain of all of those failures, so I left with my brother and we got a loan to buy the We Sing."

  "Pops..."

  "I know, in my mind, that there is no dishonor in my choice, but sometimes I wonder if I could have been more like my father. He was a kind, strong and wise man. But not perfect. When we embarked he told us that we had too much kindness, too much joy for rescue work, and he had selfishly hoped we'd stay anyway. He considered greed to be his biggest flaw, and maybe it was. He was always greedy to snatch the living out of the void. His ship was lost with all hands because of it. I know it's nothing like you went through, but maybe I understand just one small part of what you told me."

  Wow, Pops. He didn't need to do that shit. I already thought he was fucking awesome. I had to say something. "You rescue guys are braver than we are. At least our enemies can be killed, you guys battle the cold empty itself. That's not stuff for kids. You protected your family."

  "Like you."

  Sneaky bastard. Well, the next part wasn't any near as hard. So I told him about the Hijack Rescue Operation.

  I don't know if any of us have ever told our side of that story before. Therapy doesn't count. That shit's legally protected. This was... this was putting my choices in front of my mom and dad and hoping they weren't too disappointed.

  And there was Mom patting my shoulder the whole way. Un-fucking-fair.

  And that's how I enlisted, please don't be angry.

  The surprise was a full refurbishment of my cabin. Like, the berth is built into the cabinetry and there's a desk in it and it's so fucking nice. It's as nice as a captain's quarters. Infantry, not Navy. Navy ranks are fucking batshit though. Hell yeah.

  Log: 6000000.9.20, Personal, Captain Yormdrill

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  Gregory very politely played along and came to the bridge with Trevdi, Trandi and me to give him the chance to get more of his story out. The girls were convinced that we successfully tricked him, but I doubt it. The man is very vigilant for that sort of thing, and I think he just played along to save our pride.

  I told him about how I grew up, a little of it. Trandi gets uncomfortable when I talk about my time as a rescue engineer. One day she will realize that her father has flaws and accept it, but not today.

  My gambit succeeded.

  "I know what you did. It was low-down of you, but smart. Extra low-down because I can't even be mad at you for it. Well played, Pops, well played.

  "Okay, so after Ignitia burned... She was the revival for our ethnic group, you know? We were a generation away from disappearing and came back strong enough to have an entire planet. Now though... we don't have any women.

  "Sorry, that's a side track. Anyway, after the glassing, we demanded to see the fleet admiral who gave the order. Pete even said we'd go on a hunger strike until he got himself down to the cargo bay we were quartered in. We presented him our colors, the flag from our Mountaineers camp, anyway. We were more of a company than a regiment, but the sentiment was there."

  "I don't understand," Trandi said, "why give the man who burned your home something so special?"

  "Gratitude. Don't look at me like that, anybody who couldn't make it to the shuttle was grub food or waiting to be grub food. Between that or plasma, I know which I'd want. We were grateful that he put Ignitia out of her misery before the parasites could use her to spread.

  "There was this lady there, I think she was a reporter. Kept asking questions. Wanted to know how it felt, what we wanted. Stupid questions like that. It was none of her business, let alone the rest of the Republic. She pestered me a lot, probably because I was the youngest, but we just stood guard over the regular boys. We had to keep them safe. Some of them were still fighting to keep breathing.

  "It wasn't a very long trip, I think it was nine days, and we were dumped in a refugee camp. It was as nice as a hastily constructed temporary shelter could be, but we weren't interested in comfort. Republican Relief took over from the Navy on medical treatment, and they knew what to do about the regular boys better than us or the Navy, so it was finally okay to leave them unwatched. Pete had someone go check on them from time-to-time.

  "My job was to listen. I was the smallest, youngest, and quietest. These were advantages when it came to getting around restrictions. The MPs just assumed I was another traumatized kid looking for comfort, so they didn't stop me moving around the sections. Which is how we found out that other planets had been infested. The biggest news to the other boys was that there were girls in the other sections of the camp. There was a lot of arguing over whether this was a good thing, a bad thing, or a tactical liability. I don't think it ever got settled.

  "Pete cut through all that and sent me to snoop on the highest collection of Naval officers. They spoke Republican Battle Cant, and very politely said some gibberish to me from time to time. It was less interesting than the conversations about various planets undergoing rescue operations, and ones where rescue was planned. When I told everyone, the debate over girls stopped. Pete had an idea. He pointed to me and said, 'They murdered our brother,' then to another one of us, 'our sisters,' then he gestured toward the group, 'our moms and dads. We brothers are the only family we have left. Carlos has heard they plan on splitting us up, Eric heard they think we need to be put in hospitals, and Greggie says the grubs are out there doing it all again to other kids. As for me, I'm going to kill as many of them as I can, and save as many people as I can. I won't let anyone stop me, but I can't do it alone.'

  "I stepped up. I wouldn't let any grubs touch my brother. I wasn't alone. That night we all broke out, retrieved our weapons, and hijacked a civilian passenger yacht. Yeah, yeah. It was wrong of us, but we didn't care. Our home, our families were gone. We wanted to take something back from the galaxy. Well, the civilian crew were eager to get rid of us on the infested planet, we had them set us down in a rural area.

  "As soon as I was watching over my brothers through the scope on my rifle, my nightmares went away. We went into the towns, found the pens, and broke out the people. Adults this time too. One of the men tried to take Carlos's rifle away. Carlos told him if he thought that he couldn't have a gun, then he should get back in the grub pen and wait for a spreader. I heard about it from him later. I was up on the water tower. I didn't let the grubs touch my brothers. I didn't miss.

  "We marched the people toward the nearest city, where there was a spaceport, and a Navy beachhead. We hit infected from behind, and this time they were using our weapons. Poorly, but they were using them. I didn't let any of them touch my brothers. I didn't miss.

  "The Infantry tried to evac us, but we just went back out and made for the next town. We spent the next six or so weeks like that. Going out, finding survivors, and making the rescue. The Republic was on the back foot, spread too thin, and wasn't ready for something like the grubs. We had been in a period of almost complete peace, so long as you don't count the pirates. Just Roma Nova sending out skirmishing battle groups and making a lot of noise about how 'Holy Terra is rightfully the seat of the Emperor.' Everyone thought of Roma Nova as a joke at the time. Basically a cult that worshiped the long forgotten gods of an even longer dead empire from our cradle.

  "Having a highly motivated, local resource capable company on the ground turned out to make the difference. I don't know how many people we escorted, but it was fifteen groups, big groups. I was too busy making sure nothing touched my brothers. I didn't miss.

  "By the time it was evac or stay to get glassed, we had made something of an impression. A brigadier general came to yell at us for being stupid kids putting our noses where they didn't belong. Pete reported zero casualties. He quit yelling. Pete told him that we'd pick a planet and do it again, and there was only one way to stop us.

  "The general had a counteroffer. 'You're running around out here with those little pea shooters, on your own two feet, with no backup, no intel, no support. Let us train you to use real military hardware, to use vehicles, to have backup and intel you can rely on, to fight with logistics behind you. Let us train you instead of getting yourselves killed.'

  "We accepted. I heard from the others that the news was talking about 'The Lost Boys' hijacking a civilian freighter to go on a killing spree. I didn't care, I protected all of my brothers."

  Gregory was much calmer after he concluded this part of the story than when he talked about his homeward. I believe that period of his life is less painful for obvious reasons, but still carries significant weight. He stepped lighter as we returned to quarters. He was very excited for his new room.

  Dear Logary,

  Today MoMMy and DAddy and TraNTRan all took SneakY to the bridge to trick him.

  It was my job to watch Uncle Yaem so they put in SNeaky's bed right.

  I did a good job because he was happy.