I didn’t even realize Patches had wings until I saw him in the daylight. They’re tiny though, so I’m not sure what they’re actually for. There’s no way this chubby little shit is getting off the ground with just those loose flaps of skin flopping up and down.

  I understand why he’s called ‘Patches’ now. He’s got two-toned scales, blue and green, and the colors create a patchwork across his entire body. And he doesn’t seem to mind the change of scenery at all. In fact, he seems to be having the time of his life on this horse. Whenever we ride, he lets his tongue drape out the side of his mouth while his tail goes wagging. I have to use Gerard’s hitching strap to hold him in place so he doesn’t get too excited and go tumbling off the side.

  We pass through two more towns on our way to Fortun and get plenty of interesting looks from the locals as we go. I give Patches a nugget of gold each time we get on or off the horse and now he’s learned to expect it. Whenever we stop, he’ll start bouncing up and down in the saddle while he waits for the strap to be loosened so he can leap down and get his reward for being a good little demon-thing. I’ve had to start breaking the nuggets into smaller and smaller pieces just to conserve our supply.

  Of course, gold isn’t all he eats. That just seems to be his favorite. He’ll devour pretty much anything I put in front of him. Over three days of traveling, I see him eat grass, wood, hay, leather, and even an entire knapsack full of god knows what that gives him awful indigestion for a whole afternoon. We lose half a day of travel time because whenever he burps a little bit of fire always comes out.

  I’ve found he gets grumpy if I don’t give him a chance to run around and let off steam every once in a while. And by ‘let off steam’ I mean blast a cloud of fire out of his mouth at whatever strikes his fancy. I’ve had to learn the hard way to keep him well clear of people whenever I let him go on one of his walks.

  Fortun is a massive city. Bigger than any in Valencia. It takes all morning just to get from the fancy metal gate on the outskirts of town all the way to the city’s center. Which is a hell of a long way to go without attracting attention when you’re covered in armor and have a fire-breathing demon in your lap. Most people simply stare as we go by but some force me to actually talk to them and I’ve had to make up a whole convoluted backstory about being a knight in the empress’s army that just happens to take in stray monsters as pets.

  The city is built on hilly terrain with the palace sitting at its highest point. When I can see the spires peeking out above the rooftops ahead of me, I figure I’m close enough for today and decide I’d better pack it in for the night. I still don’t know how I’m gonna get into the place and the best thing I can do is sleep on it.

  Despite feeding a fortune to Patches by now, I still have plenty of gold to stable Gerard and get myself set up in the common area at a nearby inn. Funnily enough, I’m not nearly as notorious in Fornia as I am in my home country. So no one bats an eye when I go to pay with raw, unrefined gold. They do, however, seem somewhat disquieted by the presence of a miniature monster at my feet. As I'm paying, the owner points down at him and asks, "That thing dangerous?"

  I lie, "Nope." Then everyone stares when Patches sleeps next to me on the cot, smacking his lips and paddling at the air with his paws. I just hope he’s not dreaming about going on one of those walks of his.

  The sun is already baking me in my armor when the demon and I venture out of the inn the next morning. There’s a bench outside that I plant myself on while the city comes to life for the day. Patches hops up and makes himself comfortable next to me. Then I watch as the street slowly fills with people, occasionally dropping a fleck of gold into Patches’ mouth for no particular reason. I just like the way he wags his spiky tail and holds his mouth open whenever I pull a piece out. I still have no idea how to get into the palace. I was hoping for a moment of inspiration or a serendipitous dream but of course I came up with bupkis.

  I can see the tops of a couple of the towers from where I’m sitting. I don’t know if Piper is in either of them but I like to think she is and that she might be looking out at the same time. Piper’s not too fond of heights though, and I’m sure she wouldn’t recognize me at this distance anyway, but it’s a nice thought all the same.

  I rack my brain for the better part of an hour to come up with a way to get into the palace. Until the solution finally comes along. Literally—it comes along down the street. I’d noticed people were gathering like they were waiting for something but I was too lost in thought to give a shit why. Turns out, a parade is making its way through town. And the grand marshal is none other than that shit-on-a-stick, Prince Travis.

  I’ve never thrown a helmet onto my head faster.

  Patches gives me a disappointed little growl when I leap to my feet to salute the son of a bitch. The prince doesn’t even look in my direction as he gallops by on his horse which I’m gonna go ahead and call a steed because of the way it’s dressed. It’s covered in even more armor than me, with gold and silver plates that audibly scrape against one another as it moves overtop one of the most ornate cloth caparisons I’ve ever seen. If an animal could look pretentious, this would be the horse-equivalent of a sniveling, curly-mustached royal vizier who everyone knows is plotting against his boss but tolerates because they’re scared of him. Along with the armored steed, the prince has a sword strapped to his waist and is surrounded by a retinue of soldiers riding their own pretentious horses. As if the little prick would even consider getting his shoes dirty by setting foot on a battlefield.

  I lower my hand after he’s passed and then watch a couple infantry regiments go by. As soon as I start seeing soldiers with armor sort of like mine, I jog over with Patches in tow and prepare to join in on the festivities. Then when I see an opening, I turn to enter the parade and march right alongside the Fornian soldiers. No one even sees me do it. There’s drummers and people blasting something resembling music out of horns and I just blend right in with the hoopla. Not sure what they’re celebrating but I figure it has something to do with taking another big chunk of my home country for themselves. It takes a bit of jostling at first, but once I’ve muscled my way into formation, I look right at home with all the other tin cans in the procession. And all the while, Patches just hops along next to me like the good little demon he is.

  People cheer and throw flowers and I just keep on marching. Whatever the guys next to me do, I do the same. The parade goes on for the better part of an hour, winding around the city, up and down and around Fortun until it eventually ends at the base of the hill where the palace sits. Not quite as far as I need it to go. When things quiet down and the soldiers all start to disperse, I jog up to the front of the line where the prince is making pleasantries with some aristocratic-looking folks. It seems the armor is protecting me in more ways than one at this point. No one notices me suddenly merge into the prince’s entourage.

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  He has a periwinkle suit on this time, with a bit of cyan peaking out of his breast pocket. The colors actually sort of match the bluish tint of the armor the soldiers are all wearing. I might really goddamn hate this bastard but he sure knows how to coordinate an outfit.

  The soldiers around him are standing like they have sticks up their asses, so I stand like I have a stick up my ass—the biggest, straightest stick because I’m trying really fucking hard to look like I belong here.

  I remain at attention with the rest of Fornia’s finest until the prince finally finishes with his formalities and the noblepeople all wander off. Once they’re gone, he runs his hands through his hair to muss it up a bit before blowing out a chestful of air. Looks like he’s had enough for the day. Next, he removes the hilt attached to his waist and hands it over to the soldier in the lead while the two talk.

  I start to shuffle around on my feet after it goes on for a while. I must have picked the hottest goddamn day of the year to do this. And I’m not the only one getting impatient. Now Patches is jumping up at me. He must think it’s time for a treat since we’ve stopped walking. I know he can smell it in my pocket but I can’t pull the gold out in front of all these soldiers so, unfortunately for him, there’s nothing I can do. But unfortunately for me, this is apparently unacceptable. It isn’t long before the little shit is barking at me to give him his damn treat already. I just hold a hand out to shush him and make a silent prayer for the prince to hurry up and get this fucking show on the road.

  I’m hard at work trying to quiet the demon down when I hear one of the soldiers behind me say, “The hell is that?”

  Fuck.

  I whip my head around and the guy’s already got his sword drawn. I throw my hands up and take a step forward. “Whoa, hang on a sec, I—” and then before I can even finish, the asshole takes a swipe at Patches. I dart sideways, right in front of him to block his sword as he swings it down. Being completely covered in armor might look dumb as fuck but it does mean I can take a whack from a sword without feeling a thing. Hell, I think it did more damage to the blade than it did to my armor.

  The soldier doesn’t have a helmet on like I do, and he could not look more stunned. You’d think I just told him his mother got eaten by a bugbear. I’ve still got my hands raised when three more soldiers clank over to get the guy’s back. Not sure what Patches did to piss everyone off but I know I’m not letting any of these assholes take another swipe at him so I guess shit's about to go down.

  Turns out, I don’t have to do squat. Before anyone can do anything, Patches hops up next to me and opens his mouth to let everyone know how he feels. As soon as I realize what’s happening, I leap to the side and just watch the mayhem ensue. Patches blasts one off, and all four soldiers go up in flames. They’re running around screaming while their skin melts off and it’s all I can do not to bust out laughing.

  I keep my composure and clamber to my feet. The prince has taken notice now, along with every other person in his entourage. Within seconds, a dozen soldiers are running in circles, taking swipes at Patches while he just hops around to avoid them. The spritely little shit can jump a good ten feet horizontally and none of these idiots know what to do with him. Which is great news for me. There isn't much I could do against this many enemies at once so I just hang back and hope for the best.

  Patches keeps doing his thing, firing at anyone who comes near him until the soldiers realize that getting broiled alive isn’t any fun and finally back the fuck away. A couple archers shoot at Patches but the arrows bounce right off his scales. I don’t know who thought it’d be a good idea to barter this little guy off to the owner of the armory shop but whoever it was really fucked up. This thing is amazing.

  The prince has sidled up close to me now. He tells the soldier next to him, “Get me past this demon!”

  This is my chance. I run sideways in front of his horse and salute the royal shitstain while yelling, “This way, my prince!”

  He doesn’t even question it. He just gives me a nod and then I turn around and bolt toward the gate. I know I’m the only person Patches won’t blast and that makes me the only person who can get the prince through safely. The demon keeps fighting the good fight, fending off a growing legion of soldiers while I lead Travis and his entourage past the gate and up the hill toward the palace.

  I recognize this area. This is where they took me when I had my visit with Piper. The prince trots along on his horse while I try desperately to keep ahead of him on foot, up the winding path, past the meticulously manicured hedges which I can barely see through the eye slit in this helmet right now. It’s already hard to see in this thing but it’s damn near impossible now that sweat is cascading down my forehead and going right into my eyeballs. What the fuck are my eyebrows even for? This is a dereliction of duty if I’ve ever seen one. And I can’t even reach up to wipe my damn face off. After spending the entire day covered in armor and then running up this giant fucking hill, it’s everything I have not to bend over and hurl right into my helmet by the time we make it to the stairs at the front of the palace.

  Travis hops off his horse and makes a bit of small talk with the guards. Goddamn, this is one chatty fuck. I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna last wearing all this armor in this heat. I catch my breath and try to look as casual as possible considering the fact that I’m basically wearing a human-sized slow-cooker. The prince eventually breaks off from the group and starts heading toward the stairs. None of the soldiers follow him. I don’t have any other cards left to play at this point so I just start making my way up the stairs behind him. I’ve nearly made it all the way to the second step when one of the palace guards points at me and says, “You there, you with the stableman?”

  “Me?” I point at my chest and then immediately drop my hand because there’s no one else he could be talking to. “Uh, yeah, yep. Sure am.”

  “Go ahead and take Heather, then.”

  “Sure. Uh…” I look all around for a woman but don’t see any. “Where’s Heather?”

  He points at the armored horse that the prince had been riding on during the parade. “Dammit man, the horse.”

  “Right.” I start to walk over to it and then turn my head to watch the prince as he disappears into the palace. I’m so focused on watching him that I end up walking right into the stupid horse. It groans as I bounce off it and now all the guards are looking at me. In my defense, I have precisely zero peripheral vision in this helmet. I shake it off and give the guards a little wave to let them know I’m okay before finding the lead rope and giving it a tug. As soon as the horse and I are walking together, the guard that gave me the order says, “Where are you going?”

  “To the, uh…” Before I can think of anything to say, he points his thumb over his shoulder in the opposite direction from where I was headed. “...Right. Stables are that way. Knew that.” Then Heather and I take a walk in the right direction.

  I make my way around the front of the palace to the eastern-facing facade. As soon as the guards at the front are out of sight, I let go of the rope and start scanning the walls for a way in. Once I spot a door where two servants are walking in with baskets in their arms, I make sure no one is watching and then clunk my way over to let myself in.

  After swinging the door open, I slide inside and let it thud shut behind me. And then there I am. At last. After walking across half a continent, nearly getting eaten, crushed, starved, burned alive, and having to listen not once but twelve times to Tabitha’s story about how she enchanted her own hair on fire once, I’ve finally made it into the palace.

  Time to find Piper.